Not Invited to Half Sibling's Wedding

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Dp. I think calling him and saying you’re confused is fine. But it’s a bit much to suggest somehow he owed you an invitation because you babysat him when he was a kid. You don’t know why they didn’t invite you, maybe there’s an explanation that will leave you less hurt. He’s still your brother and you are on good terms, so I would keep an open mind until he (or his soon to be wife) proves you wrong.

They are half siblings and she didn't just babysit him.

[Anonymous]

Your half brother and his fiancée were both at the vacation where you all rented a house last year? Yeah, that's weird. I think you should reach out. You could pose it as, "I'm really sorry if I did something to offend you....." even if you really want to say "WTAF"? I feel like you need to give him a chance to explain. If there is no reason, that would be the end of the relationship for me. Stepmom included.

Sorry OP, that's really hurtful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you are close with your step mom still OP can you follow up with her for more details. Like a phone call and say you were caught off guard when she told you earlier, but were hoping she could provide some sort of insights as to what happened. If there is some sort of bridezilla issue going on, you’re probably more likely to hear it from a third-party than a member of the couple. This truly sounds bizarre, and other people at the wedding who know your family are definitely going to notice your absence and speculate about it, so the couple better realize they’re inviting drama to their wedding by not inviting you.

I agree with following up with stepmother like this – no anger, just the genuine confusion and hurt. Even if there is a bridezilla issue, it was on half brother and stepmother to be sure immediate family (you and sis) are included.

I’m sorry, OP. I’d be very hurt and confused and I wouldn’t just walk away without letting them know how bad this exclusion feels.

[Anonymous]

Your half siblings suck. No other excuse or explanation.

[Anonymous]

I’m so sorry OP. This is horrible!!

I have 2 much younger half sisters who I am not very close with (we didn’t grow up in the same household) but we always invite and include each other and treat as family. (We are trying our best to form a closer relationship as adults)

I would be so hurt- this is terrible. Hugs to you OP.

[Anonymous]

Op I’m so sorry. Weddings can make people do weird weird things but that is absolutely no excuse. I would personally reach out and check in with your brother. Given you all vacationed together this seems very out of left field and he owes you an explanation at least.

I do agree with some posters that life is long and you wouldn’t believe the things family can get through once some time has past. I’m not saying that is fair, from what you’ve told us this seems awful but truly weddings can make some people insane and since you love your stepmom and she loves you I truly hope for all your sakes time will heal this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op I’m so sorry. Weddings can make people do weird weird things but that is absolutely no excuse. I would personally reach out and check in with your brother. Given you all vacationed together this seems very out of left field and he owes you an explanation at least.

I do agree with some posters that life is long and you wouldn’t believe the things family can get through once some time has past. I’m not saying that is fair, from what you’ve told us this seems awful but truly weddings can make some people insane and since you love your stepmom and she loves you I truly hope for all your sakes time will heal this

I will add that it is especially hurtful given the loss of your father and I think going to your brother and saying you’re feeling confused and hurt is so valid and it’s worth a conversation

[Anonymous]

Or yes your stepmom you could follow up with as well. I agree even with bridezilla brother and stepmom should have put their foot down and said this is unacceptable

[Anonymous]

I would NOT follow up and ask more questions. There is no answer they can give you that will make this OK. And even if they change their minds, I would not want to go. I would not speak to them again.

Someday this marriage will end - trust me - and then perhaps you can reach out to your brother.

So sorry OP, that does suck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd be relieved. I hate attending weddings.

You sound fun.

[Anonymous]

I agree with other posters. The half brother and stepmom should have demanded your inclusion, the same way they would have demanded your father be included if he was being excluded. Their failure to tells me that you are not actually part of “their” family. They are not as nice as they seem, but they are good actors.

[Anonymous]

There absolutely IS a backstory. OP described the fiancé as “quite vain to be frank.” OP doesn’t like the fiancé and the fiancé knows it. That’s the backstory.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd be relieved. I hate attending weddings.

You sound fun.

I hate weddings too btw and would be over the moon at being excluded.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow. I can't imagine this would have happened if your father were still alive. Really shameful on your step-mom and your half-brother's part to pretend as if you and your sister don't exist. I would explain to both of them *before the wedding* how you feel and just walk away. They've shown their true colors. It would be one thing if there was already a rift between you but you've said there isn't.

The fiancee is irrelevant--your step-mom and half-bro were responsible for ensuring you and your sis were invited since, you know, you're immediate family.

I would be hurt OP. You were there from the begining.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't bring it up again. No gift, no card, no more group vacations.