Not Invited to Half Sibling's Wedding

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There has to be a backstory here. This is awful.

OP here. There absolutely is no backstory, I promise. We get along well; this is out of left field. I mean, we all rented a house in Duck last summer. My sister thinks my half brother's fiancée is wrapped up in the idea that she is marrying a 'broken family' and doesn't want it on display. She is very active on social media and quite vain, to be frank.

You and your sister should dress as cinderella and post to all of her wedding posts as the uninvited step siblings

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry OP. You sound surprised, so I'm guessing there isn't a rift or an obvious reason you weren't invited? Have you met his fiancé? It sounds like you haven't spoken to him at all, just your step-mom. If you are on good terms with your half-brother, why not reach out and ask if something happened that you are not aware of? If you aren't close enough to have his contact info then maybe that's your answer on why you weren't invited (not saying that was right, I don't think it is, just maybe they went by "feeling" of closeness instead of blood relations).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There has to be a backstory here. This is awful.

OP here. There absolutely is no backstory, I promise. We get along well; this is out of left field. I mean, we all rented a house in Duck last summer. My sister thinks my half brother's fiancée is wrapped up in the idea that she is marrying a 'broken family' and doesn't want it on display. She is very active on social media and quite vain, to be frank.

I’m so sorry. I would be really hurt. Is your relationship strong enough that you can ask him why you’re not invited in a way so that it doesn’t look like you’re asking for an invitation but more informational?

[Anonymous]

Wow. This is truly awful. I’m so sorry OP. I would just ask your brother, considering you see him (rented a beach house together recently) and are on good terms. Be nice about it, and just let him know that you are really hurt. He should feel bad.

[Anonymous]

That's really quite terrible, OP. I would call my brother (to all intents and purposes he IS your brother!), and tell him you're very jurt: that you considered him family, just like your other siblings, that you looked after him when he was a child, etc... and then figure out what's going on from what he tells you.

You cannot walk away from this without exploring further. Your brother is a young adult, and probably not quite mature enough to call you first and explain. He's probably not comfortable with this situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
That's really quite terrible, OP. I would call my brother (to all intents and purposes he IS your brother!), and tell him you're very jurt: that you considered him family, just like your other siblings, that you looked after him when he was a child, etc... and then figure out what's going on from what he tells you.

You cannot walk away from this without exploring further. Your brother is a young adult, and probably not quite mature enough to call you first and explain. He's probably not comfortable with this situation.

Yeah, this is a good approach. If you shared a beach house recently, I'd think your relationship was on solid ground

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
That's really quite terrible, OP. I would call my brother (to all intents and purposes he IS your brother!), and tell him you're very jurt: that you considered him family, just like your other siblings, that you looked after him when he was a child, etc... and then figure out what's going on from what he tells you.

You cannot walk away from this without exploring further. Your brother is a young adult, and probably not quite mature enough to call you first and explain. He's probably not comfortable with this situation.

Yeah, this is a good approach. If you shared a beach house recently, I'd think your relationship was on solid ground

Dp. I think calling him and saying you’re confused is fine. But it’s a bit much to suggest somehow he owed you an invitation because you babysat him when he was a kid. You don’t know why they didn’t invite you, maybe there’s an explanation that will leave you less hurt. He’s still your brother and you are on good terms, so I would keep an open mind until he (or his soon to be wife) proves you wrong.

[Anonymous]

Everything about this screams “Bridezilla” with both the stepmom and the half-brother acceding to her wishes. If I were OP, I would let the half-brother know now how I feel. If you just write him off with no explanation it will damage the long-time relationship with the stepmom, and OP has implied this is anything but her stepmom’s doing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
That's really quite terrible, OP. I would call my brother (to all intents and purposes he IS your brother!), and tell him you're very jurt: that you considered him family, just like your other siblings, that you looked after him when he was a child, etc... and then figure out what's going on from what he tells you.

You cannot walk away from this without exploring further. Your brother is a young adult, and probably not quite mature enough to call you first and explain. He's probably not comfortable with this situation.

Agree. He should know that you are hurt, and he should feel bad about it. Absent some serious issue (estrangement, addiction, terrible transgression at a past family event), there is absolutely no justification for this. It is a terrible thing to do.

I would also go back to your stepmother and let her know how you are feeling, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everything about this screams “Bridezilla” with both the stepmom and the half-brother acceding to her wishes. If I were OP, I would let the half-brother know now how I feel. If you just write him off with no explanation it will damage the long-time relationship with the stepmom, and OP has implied this is anything but her stepmom’s doing.

If this is true then stepmom and brother have already damaged the relationship by their willingness to sacrifice the half-siblings feelings.

[Anonymous]

Think about how much money you’ve saved, OP!! No wedding invite = no gift or travel costs.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like no more vacation or contact. Let it go and move on. No gift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There has to be a backstory here. This is awful.

OP here. There absolutely is no backstory, I promise. We get along well; this is out of left field. I mean, we all rented a house in Duck last summer. My sister thinks my half brother's fiancée is wrapped up in the idea that she is marrying a 'broken family' and doesn't want it on display. She is very active on social media and quite vain, to be frank.

I would call your brother and ask. I would be genuinely curious. I have a similar family with younger half siblings of the same age difference…who also just got married. I cannot imagine not being invited!

[Anonymous]

If you are close with your step mom still OP can you follow up with her for more details. Like a phone call and say you were caught off guard when she told you earlier, but were hoping she could provide some sort of insights as to what happened. If there is some sort of bridezilla issue going on, you’re probably more likely to hear it from a third-party than a member of the couple. This truly sounds bizarre, and other people at the wedding who know your family are definitely going to notice your absence and speculate about it, so the couple better realize they’re inviting drama to their wedding by not inviting you.

[Anonymous]

Wow. I can't imagine this would have happened if your father were still alive. Really shameful on your step-mom and your half-brother's part to pretend as if you and your sister don't exist. I would explain to both of them *before the wedding* how you feel and just walk away. They've shown their true colors. It would be one thing if there was already a rift between you but you've said there isn't.

The fiancee is irrelevant--your step-mom and half-bro were responsible for ensuring you and your sis were invited since, you know, you're immediate family.