14 and 15 year olds- sex and drugs? Tell other parents or not?

[Anonymous]

OP- I'm really sorry about what happened to your son.

FWIW-
Under my roof, I tell my kids that the bill of rights doesn't apply to them in our house . My kids are well adjusted good kids too.

1.) There is no unlimited free speech. My kids must be respectful.
2.) There are no weapons in our house.
3.) NA-
4.) If I suspect they are up to no good, I will search their room/computer/ etc. There should be no expectation of privacy.
5/6.) My kids are guilty of said crime until proven innocent. I will compel the kids to confess using any manner that I see fit including calling the other parent.
7.) There is no jury of peers in our house. I don't care if other families think it is okay to do X. If X doesn't correspond to our value system, it is not okay.
8.) By my kids' definition, we definitely engage in cruel and unusual punishment. They lose TV, playdates, desserts, birthday parties, and the like if they misbehave don't focus on their studies etc.
9./10)I'll make up more rules as we go. If my kids started hanging out with the wrong crowd, you'd better believe we would come up with new rules.

[Anonymous]

OP again. I told the principal, and nothing really came of it. This thread is 3 years old, so he would ave been in 10th grade at the start of it. He abstained until summer before senior year, and was using daily when he started college. He got caught one month into college. He has now been drug free for 3 months and is doing well academically, but I had a nonchalant look the other way attitude about the pot once he was 17, and thought it was a rite of passage at that age. The police and the school are giving him a second chance due to his grades, but we are lucky that it didn't have more life altering consequences, such as a car accident that would hurt him or someone else. I weenied out and I feel like I lost respect from my kid because of it. No decision is ever fool proof, but some kids do get caught. Mine did and hopefully it will be in his long term best interest since he is turning things around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again. I told the principal, and nothing really came of it. This thread is 3 years old, so he would ave been in 10th grade at the start of it. He abstained until summer before senior year, and was using daily when he started college. He got caught one month into college. He has now been drug free for 3 months and is doing well academically, but I had a nonchalant look the other way attitude about the pot once he was 17, and thought it was a rite of passage at that age. The police and the school are giving him a second chance due to his grades, but we are lucky that it didn't have more life altering consequences, such as a car accident that would hurt him or someone else. I weenied out and I feel like I lost respect from my kid because of it. No decision is ever fool proof, but some kids do get caught. Mine did and hopefully it will be in his long term best interest since he is turning things around.

Thank you, again, OP, for sharing this. Sorry you'be had a rough road but I really appreciate your honesty.