Best way to approach having to see a friend who ghosted you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you're being a little petty and childish. I doubt there was any ill-intention on her part, sometimes people just get very busy with their lives and need to prioritize. In times like this unless you're a very good friend who has been with her through thick and thin, you don't get top billing on her to do list. It is what it is.

This. It's the reason I finally ghosted a friend a decided to never follow back up. I went MIA after a busy summer and fall and then reached out to wish her a happy birthday and to apologize for being MIA. Instead of her just being nice about it and saying so glad to hear from you let's get together, she started off with-wow, surprised to hear from you after you disappeared as if somehow communicating is my responsibility. I didn't follow up after that because that is just petty and childish.

So you are upset that she called you out for your poor behavior? Everyone has issues. A text response to someone takes 3 seconds. You are at fault here, not her. I applaud her for being direct - people shouldn’t have to be afraid of calling others out for behaving badly

Exactly. You act like a jerk and then are pissed you're called out for it. LOL.

+1

Sorry but the whole “was going through stuff” as a reason to NOT RESPOND to a text is not ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you're being a little petty and childish. I doubt there was any ill-intention on her part, sometimes people just get very busy with their lives and need to prioritize. In times like this unless you're a very good friend who has been with her through thick and thin, you don't get top billing on her to do list. It is what it is.

This. It's the reason I finally ghosted a friend a decided to never follow back up. I went MIA after a busy summer and fall and then reached out to wish her a happy birthday and to apologize for being MIA. Instead of her just being nice about it and saying so glad to hear from you let's get together, she started off with-wow, surprised to hear from you after you disappeared as if somehow communicating is my responsibility. I didn't follow up after that because that is just petty and childish.

So you are upset that she called you out for your poor behavior? Everyone has issues. A text response to someone takes 3 seconds. You are at fault here, not her. I applaud her for being direct - people shouldn’t have to be afraid of calling others out for behaving badly

Exactly. You act like a jerk and then are pissed you're called out for it. LOL.

+1

Sorry but the whole “was going through stuff” as a reason to NOT RESPOND to a text is not ok.

A text! Stop everything! There's a TEXT! Then another text! And you have to respond to that one, too! It's NOT OK to not respond to a text!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you're being a little petty and childish. I doubt there was any ill-intention on her part, sometimes people just get very busy with their lives and need to prioritize. In times like this unless you're a very good friend who has been with her through thick and thin, you don't get top billing on her to do list. It is what it is.

This. It's the reason I finally ghosted a friend a decided to never follow back up. I went MIA after a busy summer and fall and then reached out to wish her a happy birthday and to apologize for being MIA. Instead of her just being nice about it and saying so glad to hear from you let's get together, she started off with-wow, surprised to hear from you after you disappeared as if somehow communicating is my responsibility. I didn't follow up after that because that is just petty and childish.

So you are upset that she called you out for your poor behavior? Everyone has issues. A text response to someone takes 3 seconds. You are at fault here, not her. I applaud her for being direct - people shouldn’t have to be afraid of calling others out for behaving badly

Exactly. You act like a jerk and then are pissed you're called out for it. LOL.

You really misunderstand. No one is "pissed" about being "called out" for something. We're saying that you are 1. taking things too personally and seriously, and 2. setting up a dynamic where going forward things have to be much weirder than they otherwise would.

It's not the "friend" who's going to get excluded from things if you do this - it's you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you're being a little petty and childish. I doubt there was any ill-intention on her part, sometimes people just get very busy with their lives and need to prioritize. In times like this unless you're a very good friend who has been with her through thick and thin, you don't get top billing on her to do list. It is what it is.

This. It's the reason I finally ghosted a friend a decided to never follow back up. I went MIA after a busy summer and fall and then reached out to wish her a happy birthday and to apologize for being MIA. Instead of her just being nice about it and saying so glad to hear from you let's get together, she started off with-wow, surprised to hear from you after you disappeared as if somehow communicating is my responsibility. I didn't follow up after that because that is just petty and childish.

So you are upset that she called you out for your poor behavior? Everyone has issues. A text response to someone takes 3 seconds. You are at fault here, not her. I applaud her for being direct - people shouldn’t have to be afraid of calling others out for behaving badly

Exactly. You act like a jerk and then are pissed you're called out for it. LOL.

You really misunderstand. No one is "pissed" about being "called out" for something. We're saying that you are 1. taking things too personally and seriously, and 2. setting up a dynamic where going forward things have to be much weirder than they otherwise would.

It's not the "friend" who's going to get excluded from things if you do this - it's you.

Um, no. I'll admit the end result is the same but I have no interest in being around people that disappear for months at a time b/c they're "busy" or whatever. Especially if it's sudden and rude. So I don't really care at that point. . . .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just smile and say hi, then leave it. If there are enough other people you can focus your attention on them. Please be aware that she may well do her best to ignore you anyway, so be prepared to be dignified and not shocked by that. BTDT

Yeah, this. I had a friend ghost me and our kids on on the same sports team. It's awkward as heck when I see her at events, but what are you going to do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do people insist on being over considerate and saying "good to see you". The person ghosted her and it is in fact NOT good to see her, so why say it? A hello or Hi is enough.

Agreed. You may not even run into this person. It's amazing how much space my ex-friend and I can keep between ourselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you're being a little petty and childish. I doubt there was any ill-intention on her part, sometimes people just get very busy with their lives and need to prioritize. In times like this unless you're a very good friend who has been with her through thick and thin, you don't get top billing on her to do list. It is what it is.

This. It's the reason I finally ghosted a friend a decided to never follow back up. I went MIA after a busy summer and fall and then reached out to wish her a happy birthday and to apologize for being MIA. Instead of her just being nice about it and saying so glad to hear from you let's get together, she started off with-wow, surprised to hear from you after you disappeared as if somehow communicating is my responsibility. I didn't follow up after that because that is just petty and childish.

So you are upset that she called you out for your poor behavior? Everyone has issues. A text response to someone takes 3 seconds. You are at fault here, not her. I applaud her for being direct - people shouldn’t have to be afraid of calling others out for behaving badly

How is this bad behavior? We're not allowed to be MIA for a bit? In all fairness, she didn't send a text during that time either, so why does one person have to be responsible for communication and then get blamed for lack thereof? Unreal some of the people on here. I would never treat a friend like that. I have friends who go dark and then I'll hear from them a few months down the road and I treat them like nothing has happened. People can go dark if they want to and communication is a two way street btw.

DP - according to you, you went MIA for a busy summer and fall - six months? - and don’t see communicating as a responsibility in a friendship? What on earth?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you're being a little petty and childish. I doubt there was any ill-intention on her part, sometimes people just get very busy with their lives and need to prioritize. In times like this unless you're a very good friend who has been with her through thick and thin, you don't get top billing on her to do list. It is what it is.

This. It's the reason I finally ghosted a friend a decided to never follow back up. I went MIA after a busy summer and fall and then reached out to wish her a happy birthday and to apologize for being MIA. Instead of her just being nice about it and saying so glad to hear from you let's get together, she started off with-wow, surprised to hear from you after you disappeared as if somehow communicating is my responsibility. I didn't follow up after that because that is just petty and childish.

So you are upset that she called you out for your poor behavior? Everyone has issues. A text response to someone takes 3 seconds. You are at fault here, not her. I applaud her for being direct - people shouldn’t have to be afraid of calling others out for behaving badly

Exactly. You act like a jerk and then are pissed you're called out for it. LOL.

+1

Sorry but the whole “was going through stuff” as a reason to NOT RESPOND to a text is not ok.

Yes, it absolutely is sometimes.

Honestly, we’re better off ghosting people like you. You are way too needy.

[NP]

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you're being a little petty and childish. I doubt there was any ill-intention on her part, sometimes people just get very busy with their lives and need to prioritize. In times like this unless you're a very good friend who has been with her through thick and thin, you don't get top billing on her to do list. It is what it is.

This. It's the reason I finally ghosted a friend a decided to never follow back up. I went MIA after a busy summer and fall and then reached out to wish her a happy birthday and to apologize for being MIA. Instead of her just being nice about it and saying so glad to hear from you let's get together, she started off with-wow, surprised to hear from you after you disappeared as if somehow communicating is my responsibility. I didn't follow up after that because that is just petty and childish.

So you are upset that she called you out for your poor behavior? Everyone has issues. A text response to someone takes 3 seconds. You are at fault here, not her. I applaud her for being direct - people shouldn’t have to be afraid of calling others out for behaving badly

How is this bad behavior? We're not allowed to be MIA for a bit? In all fairness, she didn't send a text during that time either, so why does one person have to be responsible for communication and then get blamed for lack thereof? Unreal some of the people on here. I would never treat a friend like that. I have friends who go dark and then I'll hear from them a few months down the road and I treat them like nothing has happened. People can go dark if they want to and communication is a two way street btw.

DP - according to you, you went MIA for a busy summer and fall - six months? - and don’t see communicating as a responsibility in a friendship? What on earth?

The other friend went MIA too. It's not like I ignored their text and never responded. they never reached out either and I honestly didn't notice. If a friend of mine kind of went missing and then returned I wouldn't lash out at them for not taking the initiative to text first. I would be more understanding

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you're being a little petty and childish. I doubt there was any ill-intention on her part, sometimes people just get very busy with their lives and need to prioritize. In times like this unless you're a very good friend who has been with her through thick and thin, you don't get top billing on her to do list. It is what it is.

This. It's the reason I finally ghosted a friend a decided to never follow back up. I went MIA after a busy summer and fall and then reached out to wish her a happy birthday and to apologize for being MIA. Instead of her just being nice about it and saying so glad to hear from you let's get together, she started off with-wow, surprised to hear from you after you disappeared as if somehow communicating is my responsibility. I didn't follow up after that because that is just petty and childish.

So you are upset that she called you out for your poor behavior? Everyone has issues. A text response to someone takes 3 seconds. You are at fault here, not her. I applaud her for being direct - people shouldn’t have to be afraid of calling others out for behaving badly

Exactly. You act like a jerk and then are pissed you're called out for it. LOL.

Call them out! These rude women need to be called out for acting like jerks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just smile and say hi, then leave it. If there are enough other people you can focus your attention on them. Please be aware that she may well do her best to ignore you anyway, so be prepared to be dignified and not shocked by that. BTDT

Yeah, this. I had a friend ghost me and our kids on on the same sports team. It's awkward as heck when I see her at events, but what are you going to do?

I don’t know why women think it’s ok for them to ghost others like this.

[Anonymous]

There are "pick up where we left off" people and there are "even if you can't make plans, I want a sign of life" people, and it only gets messy when someone is "one rule for me, another rule for thee" about it all or when they can't grasp that their way is the only way.

And then there are people like OP, who spend a lot of energy on someone who doesn't like her that much and is not going to care how she handles this.

OP, you say "Hello" and keep moving. Talk to someone who likes you.