S/O to well mannered kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this rude? 2 kids have done this recently. Took DD ( 10) and a friend to an activity. Offered to get DD and friend a hot chocolate from Starbucks that I would pre order on the app then just walk over and pick up. First friend said “ if you’re getting it from Starbucks can I have a tai chai latte instead” I said no the offer was for hot chocolate. 2nd kid on different occasion but same activity said “ can I get s baked good as well, I’d really like a croissant” I said sure, then she requested it be double toasted. Both kids were polite for the most part but if you offered my kid a drink of snack she would never request something completely different or an extra item. I feel like it’s rude, but am I wrong? Given that 2 kids did it maybe it’s normal.

I think you were rude to not allow the kid to select a different drink. I find it perplexing that you said no to that but yes to an additional product.

I would say the kid asking for a croissant is kinda "rude" but also nbd. I would have said: we're just doing drinks today, but we'll do that another day.

Can you imagine being with adults and someone saying, I'm treating you guys to brownies! And responding, Oh I really don't like brownies, can I get a vanilla cupcake instead? and them saying, "No. The offer is for brownies."

I don't think you're in a position to assess these kids' manners.

NP. I think the adult asking for a vanilla cupcake instead is being kind of rude. If you don’t like brownies, just say “no, thank you!” Then the treating adult might say, “oh, maybe there’s something else you’d prefer?” But to outright ask for it is annoying and presumptuous.

Agree with the poster above yours. The adult in this scenario is being a terrible gift giver or host. Who interacts this way, treating another person to “brownies”? A person would say, “I’d love to treat you to dinner for your birthday! Any place you’d like to go?” Not “I’d like to treat you to a brownie for your birthday.” Can you imagine your mother in law ordering dinner off an app and offering you a hamburger, but considering you “rude” if you ask to order a salad instead? I think some people on this thread are controlling in ways they don’t realize.

This. Also, it can be kind of rude to say "No, thank you." when someone is trying to do something nice for you.

The OP is telling the chai kid, "This is not about me doing something that will bring you joy. I am being so generous here and you are so rude for not recognizing that."

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this rude? 2 kids have done this recently. Took DD ( 10) and a friend to an activity. Offered to get DD and friend a hot chocolate from Starbucks that I would pre order on the app then just walk over and pick up. First friend said “ if you’re getting it from Starbucks can I have a tai chai latte instead” I said no the offer was for hot chocolate. 2nd kid on different occasion but same activity said “ can I get s baked good as well, I’d really like a croissant” I said sure, then she requested it be double toasted. Both kids were polite for the most part but if you offered my kid a drink of snack she would never request something completely different or an extra item. I feel like it’s rude, but am I wrong? Given that 2 kids did it maybe it’s normal.

I think you were rude to not allow the kid to select a different drink. I find it perplexing that you said no to that but yes to an additional product.

I would say the kid asking for a croissant is kinda "rude" but also nbd. I would have said: we're just doing drinks today, but we'll do that another day.

Can you imagine being with adults and someone saying, I'm treating you guys to brownies! And responding, Oh I really don't like brownies, can I get a vanilla cupcake instead? and them saying, "No. The offer is for brownies."

I don't think you're in a position to assess these kids' manners.

NP. I think the adult asking for a vanilla cupcake instead is being kind of rude. If you don’t like brownies, just say “no, thank you!” Then the treating adult might say, “oh, maybe there’s something else you’d prefer?” But to outright ask for it is annoying and presumptuous.

Agree with the poster above yours. The adult in this scenario is being a terrible gift giver or host. Who interacts this way, treating another person to “brownies”? A person would say, “I’d love to treat you to dinner for your birthday! Any place you’d like to go?” Not “I’d like to treat you to a brownie for your birthday.” Can you imagine your mother in law ordering dinner off an app and offering you a hamburger, but considering you “rude” if you ask to order a salad instead? I think some people on this thread are controlling in ways they don’t realize.

This. Also, it can be kind of rude to say "No, thank you." when someone is trying to do something nice for you.

The OP is telling the chai kid, "This is not about me doing something that will bring you joy. I am being so generous here and you are so rude for not recognizing that."

+2

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s an exposure issue. My kids would probably do something like that because they aren’t used to that situation/type of offer. If something like that happened, then when they told me about it, I’d suggest to them that next time they should just politely take what’s offered, or politely decline.

Yeah only got to page two of the thread, but my DD has never been to Starbucks. She doesn't like hot cocoa, so I could see her asking for tea instead. actually she might ask for a pink drink because her cousin keeps talking about them when she visits and every time we pass Starbucks she asks me if she can try one. WTF is a pink drink? I digress. If there wasn't a plan ahead of time to go to Starbucks, I would not have had the foresight to teach her about this situation but now I will.

[Anonymous]

This is a somewhat OT tangent to this thread. Those of you that tend towards being judgmental, really need to be careful about that. My daughter is a few years older, and what I have seen is that kids clam up around adults like this, so you end up with them being sneaky and doing things behind their parents' backs, and other kids around them aren't comfortable enough to bring it up with parents. I have intervened twice in the past year or so (two different kids), because what the kids were doing, was unsafe/needed intervention.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who takes children to Starbucks?

This! Actually, I know many who do and they get 5 yo coffee drinks! I think Starbucks is a waste of money and their drinks and "food" tastes chemically. No way my kids gets anything from there and I certainly wouldn't buy it for someone else's child.

I love Judge Judy and I am certain she'd agree with me.

She’d question the relevance of that nonsense statement in a discussion of manners

She always goes straight to the heart of the matter: children shouldn't be consuming starbucks drinks.

[Anonymous]

I think the challenge with offering a drink from a place like Starbucks is that the whole point of Starbucks is to be able to order a very customized drink. And many kids have been to Starbucks and know many of the options. The 10 year olds in my neighborhood love Starbucks giftcards as prizes. So when you offered hot chocolate from Starbucks that kid may have taken it as an offer of a drink at Starbucks. It's not exactly right but from a kid's mind it seems logical.

[Anonymous]

I think this only came up because you are taking 10 yr olds to starbucks. If it was say a smoothie place instead, you wouldn’t have asked ‘does everyone want a mango smoothie,’ you would have asked what flavor smoothie they wanted.

[Anonymous]

OP what if you decided you wanted to get the group pizza. Would you simply say "I am ordering pepperoni pizza." Or would you ask what type of pizza people might like and come up with 1 or 2 different options?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who takes children to Starbucks?

This! Actually, I know many who do and they get 5 yo coffee drinks! I think Starbucks is a waste of money and their drinks and "food" tastes chemically. No way my kids gets anything from there and I certainly wouldn't buy it for someone else's child.

I love Judge Judy and I am certain she'd agree with me.

She’d question the relevance of that nonsense statement in a discussion of manners

She always goes straight to the heart of the matter: children shouldn't be consuming starbucks drinks.

I don't think Judge Judy would care what other people did with their children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who takes children to Starbucks?

This! Actually, I know many who do and they get 5 yo coffee drinks! I think Starbucks is a waste of money and their drinks and "food" tastes chemically. No way my kids gets anything from there and I certainly wouldn't buy it for someone else's child.

I love Judge Judy and I am certain she'd agree with me.

She’d question the relevance of that nonsense statement in a discussion of manners

She always goes straight to the heart of the matter: children shouldn't be consuming starbucks drinks.

I don't know much about parenting, but I certainly know Judge Judy. She'd stop the irrelevant Starbucks tangent in its tracks. It has nothing to do with the case.

You: And what kind of parent takes a kids to Starbucks anyways? Their food tastes chemically.

Judge Judy:

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think this only came up because you are taking 10 yr olds to starbucks. If it was say a smoothie place instead, you wouldn’t have asked ‘does everyone want a mango smoothie,’ you would have asked what flavor smoothie they wanted.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this only came up because you are taking 10 yr olds to starbucks. If it was say a smoothie place instead, you wouldn’t have asked ‘does everyone want a mango smoothie,’ you would have asked what flavor smoothie they wanted.

+1

Not really. OP likely picked Starbucks bc it was the closest place that the kids could get a hot chocolate on the run. OP didn’t intend to get a bunch of custom made beverages

[Anonymous]

OP - did you have a coupon for a hot chocolate or something? Why couldn’t the guest get a tea instead? I think you’re rude for saying she can only have a hot chocolate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - did you have a coupon for a hot chocolate or something? Why couldn’t the guest get a tea instead? I think you’re rude for saying she can only have a hot chocolate.

no coupon. I have hot chocolate saved as a favorite on my app. To try and offer 6 10/11 year old girls varying beverages would have taken forever, they’re not drinks I drink so I know nothing and when I get choices and how many pumps of X I want, do I want extra this or that, if gets overwhelming. Next time I take my kid and a friend or friends to this activity we’ll skip drinks after altogether.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Add long as they asked politely, I think they're awesome. It's so great they can speak up and ask for what they want.

+1 Starbucks hot chocolate is bitter even for me, I can see why a kid wouldn't want it. I'd prefer the chai latte too! Good for her for speaking up.