S/O to well mannered kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - did you have a coupon for a hot chocolate or something? Why couldn’t the guest get a tea instead? I think you’re rude for saying she can only have a hot chocolate.

no coupon. I have hot chocolate saved as a favorite on my app. To try and offer 6 10/11 year old girls varying beverages would have taken forever, they’re not drinks I drink so I know nothing and when I get choices and how many pumps of X I want, do I want extra this or that, if gets overwhelming. Next time I take my kid and a friend or friends to this activity we’ll skip drinks after altogether.

I mean, I don’t think saying no is really that much of a problem, it’s that you found them rude for asking. My kid has food intolerances and often has to ask for adjustments (e.g. ask for their pasta with out z sauce) or decline part of a meal. She would ask for something else but accept no if you said no, as she has been taught to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - did you have a coupon for a hot chocolate or something? Why couldn’t the guest get a tea instead? I think you’re rude for saying she can only have a hot chocolate.

no coupon. I have hot chocolate saved as a favorite on my app. To try and offer 6 10/11 year old girls varying beverages would have taken forever, they’re not drinks I drink so I know nothing and when I get choices and how many pumps of X I want, do I want extra this or that, if gets overwhelming. Next time I take my kid and a friend or friends to this activity we’ll skip drinks after altogether.

Lol like a petulant child taking their toys home. You are kind of a piece of work. It takes 10 more seconds to find a different menu item. Even if you had six kids it would add a minute to your task. They're 10 so they probably don't even know that you can customize the drinks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - did you have a coupon for a hot chocolate or something? Why couldn’t the guest get a tea instead? I think you’re rude for saying she can only have a hot chocolate.

no coupon. I have hot chocolate saved as a favorite on my app. To try and offer 6 10/11 year old girls varying beverages would have taken forever, they’re not drinks I drink so I know nothing and when I get choices and how many pumps of X I want, do I want extra this or that, if gets overwhelming. Next time I take my kid and a friend or friends to this activity we’ll skip drinks after altogether.

I mean, I don’t think saying no is really that much of a problem, it’s that you found them rude for asking. My kid has food intolerances and often has to ask for adjustments (e.g. ask for their pasta with out z sauce) or decline part of a meal. She would ask for something else but accept no if you said no, as she has been taught to do.

the hard part about saying no is that I don’t want my kid being talked about as the kid with the mean mom. I’m probably overthinking it. But either way, I’ve decided I’m just not offering again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who takes children to Starbucks?

This! Actually, I know many who do and they get 5 yo coffee drinks! I think Starbucks is a waste of money and their drinks and "food" tastes chemically. No way my kids gets anything from there and I certainly wouldn't buy it for someone else's child.

I love Judge Judy and I am certain she'd agree with me.

She’d question the relevance of that nonsense statement in a discussion of manners

She always goes straight to the heart of the matter: children shouldn't be consuming starbucks drinks.

I don't know much about parenting, but I certainly know Judge Judy. She'd stop the irrelevant Starbucks tangent in its tracks. It has nothing to do with the case.

You: And what kind of parent takes a kids to Starbucks anyways? Their food tastes chemically.

Judge Judy:

Judge Judy and me: "You're an idiot".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - did you have a coupon for a hot chocolate or something? Why couldn’t the guest get a tea instead? I think you’re rude for saying she can only have a hot chocolate.

no coupon. I have hot chocolate saved as a favorite on my app. To try and offer 6 10/11 year old girls varying beverages would have taken forever, they’re not drinks I drink so I know nothing and when I get choices and how many pumps of X I want, do I want extra this or that, if gets overwhelming. Next time I take my kid and a friend or friends to this activity we’ll skip drinks after altogether.

I mean, I don’t think saying no is really that much of a problem, it’s that you found them rude for asking. My kid has food intolerances and often has to ask for adjustments (e.g. ask for their pasta with out z sauce) or decline part of a meal. She would ask for something else but accept no if you said no, as she has been taught to do.

the hard part about saying no is that I don’t want my kid being talked about as the kid with the mean mom. I’m probably overthinking it. But either way, I’ve decided I’m just not offering again.

Because a girl wanted a drink other than hot chocolate? Honestly just don’t take the girls out on outings if this is going to set you over the top!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who takes children to Starbucks?

This! Actually, I know many who do and they get 5 yo coffee drinks! I think Starbucks is a waste of money and their drinks and "food" tastes chemically. No way my kids gets anything from there and I certainly wouldn't buy it for someone else's child.

I love Judge Judy and I am certain she'd agree with me.

She’d question the relevance of that nonsense statement in a discussion of manners

She always goes straight to the heart of the matter: children shouldn't be consuming starbucks drinks.

I don't know much about parenting, but I certainly know Judge Judy. She'd stop the irrelevant Starbucks tangent in its tracks. It has nothing to do with the case.

You: And what kind of parent takes a kids to Starbucks anyways? Their food tastes chemically.

Judge Judy:

Judge Judy and me: "You're an idiot".

[Anonymous]

I have 3 kids ages 5-13. They all have specific items and drinks they order from Starbucks. I don’t think it would occur to them that it is rude to request a drink if you are taking them to Starbucks. Same for bubble tea. They like specific flavors. Don’t take them to Starbucks if you don’t want to get them a drink.

I have 3 kids and I have never taken a group of kids to Starbucks. I have taken them to eat and gone out for ice cream and bubble tea. I let them order. Recently I picked up shake shack for my son’s friends and some liked cheese, some wanted just hamburger, some wanted cheese fries, etc. I think it is odd that OP only was willing to buy hot chocolate.

[Anonymous]

We don’t go to Starbucks all the time but we go on vacation and our kids know what they want from Starbucks. I have one introvert who would not speak up and take anything. I have two other very picky very outgoing kids who would ask for a specific item. My 5yo asks for a cake pop every single time we go to Starbucks so I could see her asking. She is too young and has never gone anywhere with others. I willl remind my kids to be polite. My older kids I give money so they can buy themselves.

[Anonymous]

OP I get it. You wanted to get hot chocolate for the kids. You weren't expecting a bunch of spoiled kids who get taken to Starbucks regularly enough that they have their own preferred custom drink. Hot chocolate would be a treat in my house, and my kids would happily accept it without thinking they are entitled to whatever they want from the Starbucks menu.

Who are all these kids drinking Starbucks regularly?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this rude? 2 kids have done this recently. Took DD ( 10) and a friend to an activity. Offered to get DD and friend a hot chocolate from Starbucks that I would pre order on the app then just walk over and pick up. First friend said “ if you’re getting it from Starbucks can I have a tai chai latte instead” I said no the offer was for hot chocolate. 2nd kid on different occasion but same activity said “ can I get s baked good as well, I’d really like a croissant” I said sure, then she requested it be double toasted. Both kids were polite for the most part but if you offered my kid a drink of snack she would never request something completely different or an extra item. I feel like it’s rude, but am I wrong? Given that 2 kids did it maybe it’s normal.

I think you were rude to not allow the kid to select a different drink. I find it perplexing that you said no to that but yes to an additional product.

I would say the kid asking for a croissant is kinda "rude" but also nbd. I would have said: we're just doing drinks today, but we'll do that another day.

Can you imagine being with adults and someone saying, I'm treating you guys to brownies! And responding, Oh I really don't like brownies, can I get a vanilla cupcake instead? and them saying, "No. The offer is for brownies."

I don't think you're in a position to assess these kids' manners.

NP. I think the adult asking for a vanilla cupcake instead is being kind of rude. If you don’t like brownies, just say “no, thank you!” Then the treating adult might say, “oh, maybe there’s something else you’d prefer?” But to outright ask for it is annoying and presumptuous.

Agree with the poster above yours. The adult in this scenario is being a terrible gift giver or host. Who interacts this way, treating another person to “brownies”? A person would say, “I’d love to treat you to dinner for your birthday! Any place you’d like to go?” Not “I’d like to treat you to a brownie for your birthday.” Can you imagine your mother in law ordering dinner off an app and offering you a hamburger, but considering you “rude” if you ask to order a salad instead? I think some people on this thread are controlling in ways they don’t realize.

What an idiotic analogy. I don't care for cake, but people have made or purchased cakes for me for my birthday and brought them to work, and I graciously eat a slice. I don't proclaim "I don't eat cake! You are a horrible gift giver!" If someone gives you a gift or treat, you say thank you, or decline if it's food, you don't ask for an alternative gift or treat. That's rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I get it. You wanted to get hot chocolate for the kids. You weren't expecting a bunch of spoiled kids who get taken to Starbucks regularly enough that they have their own preferred custom drink. Hot chocolate would be a treat in my house, and my kids would happily accept it without thinking they are entitled to whatever they want from the Starbucks menu.

Who are all these kids drinking Starbucks regularly?

I have this same gut reaction, too, especially for 10 year olds. Especially about asking for a baked good in addition to a drink - that needs correcting.

My DD just turned 11 and definitely has a favorite drink at Starbucks, even though she’s only been maybe half a dozen times. A friend’s mom took her once, she had this thing she loves, and to hear her talk about it, you’d think she goes there daily. She definitely wouldn’t turn up her nose at hot chocolate, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this rude? 2 kids have done this recently. Took DD ( 10) and a friend to an activity. Offered to get DD and friend a hot chocolate from Starbucks that I would pre order on the app then just walk over and pick up. First friend said “ if you’re getting it from Starbucks can I have a tai chai latte instead” I said no the offer was for hot chocolate. 2nd kid on different occasion but same activity said “ can I get s baked good as well, I’d really like a croissant” I said sure, then she requested it be double toasted. Both kids were polite for the most part but if you offered my kid a drink of snack she would never request something completely different or an extra item. I feel like it’s rude, but am I wrong? Given that 2 kids did it maybe it’s normal.

I think you were rude to not allow the kid to select a different drink. I find it perplexing that you said no to that but yes to an additional product.

I would say the kid asking for a croissant is kinda "rude" but also nbd. I would have said: we're just doing drinks today, but we'll do that another day.

Can you imagine being with adults and someone saying, I'm treating you guys to brownies! And responding, Oh I really don't like brownies, can I get a vanilla cupcake instead? and them saying, "No. The offer is for brownies."

I don't think you're in a position to assess these kids' manners.

NP. I think the adult asking for a vanilla cupcake instead is being kind of rude. If you don’t like brownies, just say “no, thank you!” Then the treating adult might say, “oh, maybe there’s something else you’d prefer?” But to outright ask for it is annoying and presumptuous.

Agree with the poster above yours. The adult in this scenario is being a terrible gift giver or host. Who interacts this way, treating another person to “brownies”? A person would say, “I’d love to treat you to dinner for your birthday! Any place you’d like to go?” Not “I’d like to treat you to a brownie for your birthday.” Can you imagine your mother in law ordering dinner off an app and offering you a hamburger, but considering you “rude” if you ask to order a salad instead? I think some people on this thread are controlling in ways they don’t realize.

What an idiotic analogy. I don't care for cake, but people have made or purchased cakes for me for my birthday and brought them to work, and I graciously eat a slice. I don't proclaim "I don't eat cake! You are a horrible gift giver!" If someone gives you a gift or treat, you say thank you, or decline if it's food, you don't ask for an alternative gift or treat. That's rude.

OP didn’t make or purchase anything. She was getting ready to, using an app! It’s your analogy that isn’t working.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I get it. You wanted to get hot chocolate for the kids. You weren't expecting a bunch of spoiled kids who get taken to Starbucks regularly enough that they have their own preferred custom drink. Hot chocolate would be a treat in my house, and my kids would happily accept it without thinking they are entitled to whatever they want from the Starbucks menu.

Who are all these kids drinking Starbucks regularly?

Why? Why was she only wanting to buy hot chocolate rather than hoping to treat the girls to a drink of their choice?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I get it. You wanted to get hot chocolate for the kids. You weren't expecting a bunch of spoiled kids who get taken to Starbucks regularly enough that they have their own preferred custom drink. Hot chocolate would be a treat in my house, and my kids would happily accept it without thinking they are entitled to whatever they want from the Starbucks menu.

Who are all these kids drinking Starbucks regularly?

Why? Why was she only wanting to buy hot chocolate rather than hoping to treat the girls to a drink of their choice?

The OP explained later that they had done an outdoor activity and thought it would be nice to get some hot chocolate. She figured that getting it at Starbucks would be the most convenient option. If there was a hot chocolate stand at the activity she probably would have done that. It wasn't about treating the kids to Starbucks but rather treating them to hot chocolate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I get it. You wanted to get hot chocolate for the kids. You weren't expecting a bunch of spoiled kids who get taken to Starbucks regularly enough that they have their own preferred custom drink. Hot chocolate would be a treat in my house, and my kids would happily accept it without thinking they are entitled to whatever they want from the Starbucks menu.

Who are all these kids drinking Starbucks regularly?

The kid didn’t ask for a custom drink. She asked for a regular menu item. It would have taken 0 extra effort OP’s part to order a chai latte instead of a hot chocolate. OP is just controlling.