S/O to well mannered kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this rude? 2 kids have done this recently. Took DD ( 10) and a friend to an activity. Offered to get DD and friend a hot chocolate from Starbucks that I would pre order on the app then just walk over and pick up. First friend said “ if you’re getting it from Starbucks can I have a tai chai latte instead” I said no the offer was for hot chocolate. 2nd kid on different occasion but same activity said “ can I get s baked good as well, I’d really like a croissant” I said sure, then she requested it be double toasted. Both kids were polite for the most part but if you offered my kid a drink of snack she would never request something completely different or an extra item. I feel like it’s rude, but am I wrong? Given that 2 kids did it maybe it’s normal.

I think you were rude to not allow the kid to select a different drink. I find it perplexing that you said no to that but yes to an additional product.

I would say the kid asking for a croissant is kinda "rude" but also nbd. I would have said: we're just doing drinks today, but we'll do that another day.

Can you imagine being with adults and someone saying, I'm treating you guys to brownies! And responding, Oh I really don't like brownies, can I get a vanilla cupcake instead? and them saying, "No. The offer is for brownies."

I don't think you're in a position to assess these kids' manners.

NP. I think the adult asking for a vanilla cupcake instead is being kind of rude. If you don’t like brownies, just say “no, thank you!” Then the treating adult might say, “oh, maybe there’s something else you’d prefer?” But to outright ask for it is annoying and presumptuous.

You can choose to see it as rude or feel privileged that a child feels comfortable enough to honest, like they would with their mom. A 10 year old can not be expected to be perfectly gracious. The response from OP actually makes me really sad. My kid would not be allowed to go out with you again.

And I know the response to that, "Your kid is a monster! You're not teaching her!" No. She wouldn't say that unless she was super duper comfortable with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this rude? 2 kids have done this recently. Took DD ( 10) and a friend to an activity. Offered to get DD and friend a hot chocolate from Starbucks that I would pre order on the app then just walk over and pick up. First friend said “ if you’re getting it from Starbucks can I have a tai chai latte instead” I said no the offer was for hot chocolate. 2nd kid on different occasion but same activity said “ can I get s baked good as well, I’d really like a croissant” I said sure, then she requested it be double toasted. Both kids were polite for the most part but if you offered my kid a drink of snack she would never request something completely different or an extra item. I feel like it’s rude, but am I wrong? Given that 2 kids did it maybe it’s normal.

I think you were rude to not allow the kid to select a different drink. I find it perplexing that you said no to that but yes to an additional product.

I would say the kid asking for a croissant is kinda "rude" but also nbd. I would have said: we're just doing drinks today, but we'll do that another day.

Can you imagine being with adults and someone saying, I'm treating you guys to brownies! And responding, Oh I really don't like brownies, can I get a vanilla cupcake instead? and them saying, "No. The offer is for brownies."

I don't think you're in a position to assess these kids' manners.

NP. I think the adult asking for a vanilla cupcake instead is being kind of rude. If you don’t like brownies, just say “no, thank you!” Then the treating adult might say, “oh, maybe there’s something else you’d prefer?” But to outright ask for it is annoying and presumptuous.

Agree with the poster above yours. The adult in this scenario is being a terrible gift giver or host. Who interacts this way, treating another person to “brownies”? A person would say, “I’d love to treat you to dinner for your birthday! Any place you’d like to go?” Not “I’d like to treat you to a brownie for your birthday.” Can you imagine your mother in law ordering dinner off an app and offering you a hamburger, but considering you “rude” if you ask to order a salad instead? I think some people on this thread are controlling in ways they don’t realize.

[Anonymous]

OP- not every kid likes hot chocolate, or hot drinks. The polite offer from YOU should have been, "Would any of you like a tall sized drink from Starbucks?"

And the kid who asked for a croissant may have been hungry if they'd just participated in a cold weather activity.

[Anonymous]

I don't think it's rude of her to ask, as long as it was done politely.

Doesnt' mean you have to say yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who takes children to Starbucks?

This! Actually, I know many who do and they get 5 yo coffee drinks! I think Starbucks is a waste of money and their drinks and "food" tastes chemically. No way my kids gets anything from there and I certainly wouldn't buy it for someone else's child.

I love Judge Judy and I am certain she'd agree with me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do not understand why you said no to the tea latte. Weird.

NP but I wouldn't buy a kid a caffeinated drink without knowing that their parents allow it. We don't give our kids caffeine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do not understand why you said no to the tea latte. Weird.

NP but I wouldn't buy a kid a caffeinated drink without knowing that their parents allow it. We don't give our kids caffeine.

I would either ask the child if their parent allows caffeine or ask if they prefer a different non caffeinated beverage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this rude? 2 kids have done this recently. Took DD ( 10) and a friend to an activity. Offered to get DD and friend a hot chocolate from Starbucks that I would pre order on the app then just walk over and pick up. First friend said “ if you’re getting it from Starbucks can I have a tai chai latte instead” I said no the offer was for hot chocolate. 2nd kid on different occasion but same activity said “ can I get s baked good as well, I’d really like a croissant” I said sure, then she requested it be double toasted. Both kids were polite for the most part but if you offered my kid a drink of snack she would never request something completely different or an extra item. I feel like it’s rude, but am I wrong? Given that 2 kids did it maybe it’s normal.

I think you were rude to not allow the kid to select a different drink. I find it perplexing that you said no to that but yes to an additional product.

I would say the kid asking for a croissant is kinda "rude" but also nbd. I would have said: we're just doing drinks today, but we'll do that another day.

Can you imagine being with adults and someone saying, I'm treating you guys to brownies! And responding, Oh I really don't like brownies, can I get a vanilla cupcake instead? and them saying, "No. The offer is for brownies."

I don't think you're in a position to assess these kids' manners.

NP. I think the adult asking for a vanilla cupcake instead is being kind of rude. If you don’t like brownies, just say “no, thank you!” Then the treating adult might say, “oh, maybe there’s something else you’d prefer?” But to outright ask for it is annoying and presumptuous.

Agree with the poster above yours. The adult in this scenario is being a terrible gift giver or host. Who interacts this way, treating another person to “brownies”? A person would say, “I’d love to treat you to dinner for your birthday! Any place you’d like to go?” Not “I’d like to treat you to a brownie for your birthday.” Can you imagine your mother in law ordering dinner off an app and offering you a hamburger, but considering you “rude” if you ask to order a salad instead? I think some people on this thread are controlling in ways they don’t realize.

This. Also, it can be kind of rude to say "No, thank you." when someone is trying to do something nice for you.

The OP is telling the chai kid, "This is not about me doing something that will bring you joy. I am being so generous here and you are so rude for not recognizing that."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who takes children to Starbucks?

This! Actually, I know many who do and they get 5 yo coffee drinks! I think Starbucks is a waste of money and their drinks and "food" tastes chemically. No way my kids gets anything from there and I certainly wouldn't buy it for someone else's child.

I love Judge Judy and I am certain she'd agree with me.

She’d question the relevance of that nonsense statement in a discussion of manners

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do not understand why you said no to the tea latte. Weird.

+1 What if the kid doesn't like chocolate or is lactose intolerant, or isn't allowed to have something sugary like that, but tea is allowed? Too embarrassing to have to say it in front of all the friends. There is nothing wrong with giving kids agency over what they eat and drink.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do not understand why you said no to the tea latte. Weird.

NP but I wouldn't buy a kid a caffeinated drink without knowing that their parents allow it. We don't give our kids caffeine.

Then you'd say no to the caffeinated hot chocolate too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do not understand why you said no to the tea latte. Weird.

+1 What if the kid doesn't like chocolate or is lactose intolerant, or isn't allowed to have something sugary like that, but tea is allowed? Too embarrassing to have to say it in front of all the friends. There is nothing wrong with giving kids agency over what they eat and drink.

I posted earlier that OP's response makes me feel really sad. Agree with all of this. Maybe there's a reason. Way to be a d*ck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do not understand why you said no to the tea latte. Weird.

+1 What if the kid doesn't like chocolate or is lactose intolerant, or isn't allowed to have something sugary like that, but tea is allowed? Too embarrassing to have to say it in front of all the friends. There is nothing wrong with giving kids agency over what they eat and drink.

A tea latte is milk plus a lot of syrup, and tea

[Anonymous]

Kids ordering lattes at Starbucks is obnoxious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do not understand why you said no to the tea latte. Weird.

+1 What if the kid doesn't like chocolate or is lactose intolerant, or isn't allowed to have something sugary like that, but tea is allowed? Too embarrassing to have to say it in front of all the friends. There is nothing wrong with giving kids agency over what they eat and drink.

A tea latte is milk plus a lot of syrup, and tea

OK. I can't believe I have to type this, but what if it was a different drink. What if it were something that for whatever reason is a better choice for them. Let's say it's decaf iced tea, ok?