S/O to well mannered kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I haven't read every single replay, but I'm with the OP. The way I was raised, the kids were borderline rude and certainly entitled.

My mom taught me that at friends' houses/out with friends, if their parents offered a snack, you could say, Yes please or No thank you. You could not ASK for a snack, and you could not ask for different items than what was offered. I tell my kids the same: you may graciously accept or say no thanks. You are someone's guest. If you want different snack options, talk to me at home when you're not someone's guest.

I may be mean and out of touch, but I'm not losing sleep over it.

This is how I was raised and it's how we have raised our kids.

I do think it’s mean or at least unnecessarily controlling to say in essence “hot chocolate or nothing” when selecting off a Starbucks app.

I don’t. Kids are not entitled to whatever they want when a specific treat is offered.

You sound fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. You all seem unanimous so I think maybe it’s a cultural thing. Im from a different country originally where kids wouldn’t do this. DD wouldn’t either but probably because of me. To the PP who said “ who takes kids to Starbucks?” I didn’t take them, hence pre ordering on the app. We did a cold weather outside activity then I thought getting s hot chocolate close by would be nice. It’s all in the same area.

It is a UMC with parents that don’t say no thing. My kids wouldn’t do this, but their absolutely have friends that do. I have no problems telling them no.

Then you’re rude. Who only buys hot choc and refuses tea?! How strangely controlling.

It’s rude to say you don’t want hot chocolate, but buy me a latte instead, at 10, or however old these kids are. If a parent asks if you want hot chocolate, it is a yes or no question. If one of the children says no, the polite adult would then ask if there was something else they would like instead. But to presume you can get a latte instead is rude.

Wow. You’re unhinged.

I agree with the PP. Nothing unhinged about that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. You all seem unanimous so I think maybe it’s a cultural thing. Im from a different country originally where kids wouldn’t do this. DD wouldn’t either but probably because of me. To the PP who said “ who takes kids to Starbucks?” I didn’t take them, hence pre ordering on the app. We did a cold weather outside activity then I thought getting s hot chocolate close by would be nice. It’s all in the same area.

It is a UMC with parents that don’t say no thing. My kids wouldn’t do this, but their absolutely have friends that do. I have no problems telling them no.

Yup. You’re getting pushback because of the lunacy that often reigns on this board. “Double toasted croissant” is irritating over-indulged childspeak. Be glad you can leave that orbit.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think the initial request was rude, it’s all in how the kid handles your response.

If a 10yr old asked me for a chai, I would say something like “I understand your parents may buy you those, but I don’t feel comfortable buying a caffeinated drink for someone else’s kid. If you don’t like hot chocolate is there something else you like?”

If a kid asked for a snack and I had reason to believe they were hungry (and not just trying to get a cake pop out of me), I would probably get it. If we were wrapping up, I might say “sorry we’re going to have snacks when we get home, so I am not buying any food right now”

90% if my sons 8 -10 yr old friends would accept my answer and move on. A few would push back and argue with me or pout. Whether or not it’s rude, I will admit I don’t like those kids. It is always the same kids that take a 2nd cupcake ag the BD party without asking, want an extra goody bag for a sibling at home, or seem to see a table of craft supplies as a challenge to see if they can use or waste 100% of the supplies instead of just completing the activity. I can’t find the right words to explain, but some kids are a specific combination of bold, grabby, and entitled that rubs me the wrong way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I get it. You wanted to get hot chocolate for the kids. You weren't expecting a bunch of spoiled kids who get taken to Starbucks regularly enough that they have their own preferred custom drink. Hot chocolate would be a treat in my house, and my kids would happily accept it without thinking they are entitled to whatever they want from the Starbucks menu.

Who are all these kids drinking Starbucks regularly?

Why? Why was she only wanting to buy hot chocolate rather than hoping to treat the girls to a drink of their choice?

The OP explained later that they had done an outdoor activity and thought it would be nice to get some hot chocolate. She figured that getting it at Starbucks would be the most convenient option. If there was a hot chocolate stand at the activity she probably would have done that. It wasn't about treating the kids to Starbucks but rather treating them to hot chocolate.

If the hot chocolate stand at the activity also sold hot apple cider and the kid asked for that instead, I wonder if OP would have bristled. There is no difference between the two scenarios, but there’s something about the Starbucks part that is triggering.

Nailed it. Mic drop.

No..

You really don’t get why the mom didn’t want to be buying a bunch of custom Starbucks drinks? When OP told the girls they are stopping for hot chocolate and one kid says, well can I have a chia tea latte instead? Que the other kids now deciding they want 2 pump peppermint mocha with skim milk, a Carmel frappe with chocolate drizzle, and whatever other custom concoctions their mom
Gets them x how ever many kids OP has with her. It then becomes a PIA to order and is more of an ordeal, especially considering the
More various drinks you order the likelihood one will be wrong and then you will also have to deal with that is higher as well. OP wanted to pick up some quick hot chocolate on the run and be done with it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I get it. You wanted to get hot chocolate for the kids. You weren't expecting a bunch of spoiled kids who get taken to Starbucks regularly enough that they have their own preferred custom drink. Hot chocolate would be a treat in my house, and my kids would happily accept it without thinking they are entitled to whatever they want from the Starbucks menu.

Who are all these kids drinking Starbucks regularly?

Why? Why was she only wanting to buy hot chocolate rather than hoping to treat the girls to a drink of their choice?

The OP explained later that they had done an outdoor activity and thought it would be nice to get some hot chocolate. She figured that getting it at Starbucks would be the most convenient option. If there was a hot chocolate stand at the activity she probably would have done that. It wasn't about treating the kids to Starbucks but rather treating them to hot chocolate.

If the hot chocolate stand at the activity also sold hot apple cider and the kid asked for that instead, I wonder if OP would have bristled. There is no difference between the two scenarios, but there’s something about the Starbucks part that is triggering.

Nailed it. Mic drop.

No..

You really don’t get why the mom didn’t want to be buying a bunch of custom Starbucks drinks? When OP told the girls they are stopping for hot chocolate and one kid says, well can I have a chia tea latte instead? Que the other kids now deciding they want 2 pump peppermint mocha with skim milk, a Carmel frappe with chocolate drizzle, and whatever other custom concoctions their mom
Gets them x how ever many kids OP has with her. It then becomes a PIA to order and is more of an ordeal, especially considering the
More various drinks you order the likelihood one will be wrong and then you will also have to deal with that is higher as well. OP wanted to pick up some quick hot chocolate on the run and be done with it

DP.

I get why she wouldn't want custom orders. I wouldn't do custom orders because I dont have the patience. However, I don't get how she would think they are rude to ask. Just say 'sorry, we are all getting bla bla bla' and move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I haven't read every single replay, but I'm with the OP. The way I was raised, the kids were borderline rude and certainly entitled.

My mom taught me that at friends' houses/out with friends, if their parents offered a snack, you could say, Yes please or No thank you. You could not ASK for a snack, and you could not ask for different items than what was offered. I tell my kids the same: you may graciously accept or say no thanks. You are someone's guest. If you want different snack options, talk to me at home when you're not someone's guest.

I may be mean and out of touch, but I'm not losing sleep over it.

This is how I was raised and it's how we have raised our kids.

I don't think it's rude when a visiting child asks for a snack. If they're hungry they're hungry. I'll usually put out something healthy like carrot sticks and hummus and then something most kids can eat like graham crackers alongside it. If at that point they're rejecting the whole snack then I feel like they're picky and a little rude. Food allergies are a different story. But dang, if a kid is hungry why can't they politely ask for something to eat???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I haven't read every single replay, but I'm with the OP. The way I was raised, the kids were borderline rude and certainly entitled.

My mom taught me that at friends' houses/out with friends, if their parents offered a snack, you could say, Yes please or No thank you. You could not ASK for a snack, and you could not ask for different items than what was offered. I tell my kids the same: you may graciously accept or say no thanks. You are someone's guest. If you want different snack options, talk to me at home when you're not someone's guest.

I may be mean and out of touch, but I'm not losing sleep over it.

This is how I was raised and it's how we have raised our kids.

I don't think it's rude when a visiting child asks for a snack. If they're hungry they're hungry. I'll usually put out something healthy like carrot sticks and hummus and then something most kids can eat like graham crackers alongside it. If at that point they're rejecting the whole snack then I feel like they're picky and a little rude. Food allergies are a different story. But dang, if a kid is hungry why can't they politely ask for something to eat???

Np. My kids likely had something to eat shortly before arriving to someone's house for a playdate. Parents always offer a snack at some point, or the host's child will ask parent eventually. So I tell my child to wait until offered, and either eat what is offered or say no thank you. But they can always ask for water of course.

[Anonymous]

I completely understand both sides. I've learned to avoid overly entitled kids who pick and pick and ask and ask or complain. It's easy to figure out how much you are comfortable with. Other people have higher tolerance. With Starbucks, I think because I go more often with my kids (twice a month), if I have other kids with me, I just tell them to order for themselves if they are comfortable. It's not a battle I would engage in because they end up so happy and it's easy (albeit pricey). I don't do apps/order ahead so if that were the case I would bristle at specific requests I am not familiar with. I feel that way with my own spouse when they try telling me to order something with this instead of that instead of #4. It's annoying but in this culture, changes orders is not bad manners.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. You all seem unanimous so I think maybe it’s a cultural thing. Im from a different country originally where kids wouldn’t do this. DD wouldn’t either but probably because of me. To the PP who said “ who takes kids to Starbucks?” I didn’t take them, hence pre ordering on the app. We did a cold weather outside activity then I thought getting s hot chocolate close by would be nice. It’s all in the same area.

It is a UMC with parents that don’t say no thing. My kids wouldn’t do this, but their absolutely have friends that do. I have no problems telling them no.

Yup. You’re getting pushback because of the lunacy that often reigns on this board. “Double toasted croissant” is irritating over-indulged childspeak. Be glad you can leave that orbit.

Yup.
I am shocked how many people aren’t supporting OP on this. It was cold, so she offered hot chocolate, kids can say yes or decline.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I get it. You wanted to get hot chocolate for the kids. You weren't expecting a bunch of spoiled kids who get taken to Starbucks regularly enough that they have their own preferred custom drink. Hot chocolate would be a treat in my house, and my kids would happily accept it without thinking they are entitled to whatever they want from the Starbucks menu.

Who are all these kids drinking Starbucks regularly?

Why? Why was she only wanting to buy hot chocolate rather than hoping to treat the girls to a drink of their choice?

The OP explained later that they had done an outdoor activity and thought it would be nice to get some hot chocolate. She figured that getting it at Starbucks would be the most convenient option. If there was a hot chocolate stand at the activity she probably would have done that. It wasn't about treating the kids to Starbucks but rather treating them to hot chocolate.

If the hot chocolate stand at the activity also sold hot apple cider and the kid asked for that instead, I wonder if OP would have bristled. There is no difference between the two scenarios, but there’s something about the Starbucks part that is triggering.

Nailed it. Mic drop.

No..

You really don’t get why the mom didn’t want to be buying a bunch of custom Starbucks drinks? When OP told the girls they are stopping for hot chocolate and one kid says, well can I have a chia tea latte instead? Que the other kids now deciding they want 2 pump peppermint mocha with skim milk, a Carmel frappe with chocolate drizzle, and whatever other custom concoctions their mom
Gets them x how ever many kids OP has with her. It then becomes a PIA to order and is more of an ordeal, especially considering the
More various drinks you order the likelihood one will be wrong and then you will also have to deal with that is higher as well. OP wanted to pick up some quick hot chocolate on the run and be done with it

DP.

I get why she wouldn't want custom orders. I wouldn't do custom orders because I dont have the patience. However, I don't get how she would think they are rude to ask. Just say 'sorry, we are all getting bla bla bla' and move on.

This 100%. It’s not that deep

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I get it. You wanted to get hot chocolate for the kids. You weren't expecting a bunch of spoiled kids who get taken to Starbucks regularly enough that they have their own preferred custom drink. Hot chocolate would be a treat in my house, and my kids would happily accept it without thinking they are entitled to whatever they want from the Starbucks menu.

Who are all these kids drinking Starbucks regularly?

Why? Why was she only wanting to buy hot chocolate rather than hoping to treat the girls to a drink of their choice?

The OP explained later that they had done an outdoor activity and thought it would be nice to get some hot chocolate. She figured that getting it at Starbucks would be the most convenient option. If there was a hot chocolate stand at the activity she probably would have done that. It wasn't about treating the kids to Starbucks but rather treating them to hot chocolate.

If the hot chocolate stand at the activity also sold hot apple cider and the kid asked for that instead, I wonder if OP would have bristled. There is no difference between the two scenarios, but there’s something about the Starbucks part that is triggering.

Nailed it. Mic drop.

No..

You really don’t get why the mom didn’t want to be buying a bunch of custom Starbucks drinks? When OP told the girls they are stopping for hot chocolate and one kid says, well can I have a chia tea latte instead? Que the other kids now deciding they want 2 pump peppermint mocha with skim milk, a Carmel frappe with chocolate drizzle, and whatever other custom concoctions their mom
Gets them x how ever many kids OP has with her. It then becomes a PIA to order and is more of an ordeal, especially considering the
More various drinks you order the likelihood one will be wrong and then you will also have to deal with that is higher as well. OP wanted to pick up some quick hot chocolate on the run and be done with it

DP.

I get why she wouldn't want custom orders. I wouldn't do custom orders because I dont have the patience. However, I don't get how she would think they are rude to ask. Just say 'sorry, we are all getting bla bla bla' and move on.

This 100%. It’s not that deep

The custom orders are literally a different click on the app. It wasn’t a big deal. If the price was the issue, she could have set a restriction on that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I get it. You wanted to get hot chocolate for the kids. You weren't expecting a bunch of spoiled kids who get taken to Starbucks regularly enough that they have their own preferred custom drink. Hot chocolate would be a treat in my house, and my kids would happily accept it without thinking they are entitled to whatever they want from the Starbucks menu.

Who are all these kids drinking Starbucks regularly?

Why? Why was she only wanting to buy hot chocolate rather than hoping to treat the girls to a drink of their choice?

The OP explained later that they had done an outdoor activity and thought it would be nice to get some hot chocolate. She figured that getting it at Starbucks would be the most convenient option. If there was a hot chocolate stand at the activity she probably would have done that. It wasn't about treating the kids to Starbucks but rather treating them to hot chocolate.

If the hot chocolate stand at the activity also sold hot apple cider and the kid asked for that instead, I wonder if OP would have bristled. There is no difference between the two scenarios, but there’s something about the Starbucks part that is triggering.

Nailed it. Mic drop.

No..

You really don’t get why the mom didn’t want to be buying a bunch of custom Starbucks drinks? When OP told the girls they are stopping for hot chocolate and one kid says, well can I have a chia tea latte instead? Que the other kids now deciding they want 2 pump peppermint mocha with skim milk, a Carmel frappe with chocolate drizzle, and whatever other custom concoctions their mom
Gets them x how ever many kids OP has with her. It then becomes a PIA to order and is more of an ordeal, especially considering the
More various drinks you order the likelihood one will be wrong and then you will also have to deal with that is higher as well. OP wanted to pick up some quick hot chocolate on the run and be done with it

DP.

I get why she wouldn't want custom orders. I wouldn't do custom orders because I dont have the patience. However, I don't get how she would think they are rude to ask. Just say 'sorry, we are all getting bla bla bla' and move on.

This 100%. It’s not that deep

The custom orders are literally a different click on the app. It wasn’t a big deal. If the price was the issue, she could have set a restriction on that.

It takes more time to do those clicks. Moms are busy. I also don’t even know what “tai chai” is and I go to Starbucks all the time. Maybe she didn’t feel like navigating it around figuring it out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I get it. You wanted to get hot chocolate for the kids. You weren't expecting a bunch of spoiled kids who get taken to Starbucks regularly enough that they have their own preferred custom drink. Hot chocolate would be a treat in my house, and my kids would happily accept it without thinking they are entitled to whatever they want from the Starbucks menu.

Who are all these kids drinking Starbucks regularly?

Why? Why was she only wanting to buy hot chocolate rather than hoping to treat the girls to a drink of their choice?

The OP explained later that they had done an outdoor activity and thought it would be nice to get some hot chocolate. She figured that getting it at Starbucks would be the most convenient option. If there was a hot chocolate stand at the activity she probably would have done that. It wasn't about treating the kids to Starbucks but rather treating them to hot chocolate.

If the hot chocolate stand at the activity also sold hot apple cider and the kid asked for that instead, I wonder if OP would have bristled. There is no difference between the two scenarios, but there’s something about the Starbucks part that is triggering.

by



Nailed it. Mic drop.

No..

You really don’t get why the mom didn’t want to be buying a bunch of custom Starbucks drinks? When OP told the girls they are stopping for hot chocolate and one kid says, well can I have a chia tea latte instead? Que the other kids now deciding they want 2 pump peppermint mocha with skim milk, a Carmel frappe with chocolate drizzle, and whatever other custom concoctions their mom
Gets them x how ever many kids OP has with her. It then becomes a PIA to order and is more of an ordeal, especially considering the
More various drinks you order the likelihood one will be wrong and then you will also have to deal with that is higher as well. OP wanted to pick up some quick hot chocolate on the run and be done with it

DP.

I get why she wouldn't want custom orders. I wouldn't do custom orders because I dont have the patience. However, I don't get how she would think they are rude to ask. Just say 'sorry, we are all getting bla bla bla' and move on.

This 100%. It’s not that deep

The custom orders are literally a different click on the app. It wasn’t a big deal. If the price was the issue, she could have set a restriction on that.

It takes more time to do those clicks. Moms are busy. I also don’t even know what “tai chai” is and I go to Starbucks all the time. Maybe she didn’t feel like navigating it around figuring it out.

Exactly this.

[Anonymous]

Nothing rude here. Kids are human and have different tastes. My child would've done the same thing.