Mixed feelings about not being more outspoken about brother’s homebirth plan

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Adverse outcomes happen in every setting.


Yes, adverse outcomes happen in every setting. You can get hit by a bus when you walk blindly out into highway traffic without looking, or when you are in a crosswalk and have the light.

So it obviously doesn't matter whether you cross the street blindfolded, whistling in the dark, right?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Adverse outcomes happen in every setting.


Yeah I mean why bother having any prenatal or medical care? Do as our ancestors did! I’m sure the live birth rate comparison even 50 years ago has nothing to do with the prevalence of giving birth in a hospital.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Adverse outcomes happen in every setting.


Yeah I mean why bother having any prenatal or medical care? Do as our ancestors did! I’m sure the live birth rate comparison even 50 years ago has nothing to do with the prevalence of giving birth in a hospital.


If the baby was in the NICU because of physician error or MRSA, would you blame the parents for delivering in a hospital?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Adverse outcomes happen in every setting.


Yeah I mean why bother having any prenatal or medical care? Do as our ancestors did! I’m sure the live birth rate comparison even 50 years ago has nothing to do with the prevalence of giving birth in a hospital.


This woman sounds like she had prenatal care.
Anonymous
I think the overall point here is that this is beyond not OP’s business. You did the right thing not overstepping with your SIL. You are clearly not the kind of support she needs as I doubt you will be able to not communicate your disapproval and judgment of these people’s choice.

I am a huge supporter of home birth for people who are low risk and interested and prepared. I’m pretty tired of the hand wringing about home birth on this board because it’s just a non issue. Almost none of you even know anyone who had a baby at home. It’s a lot more common and normalized in other parts of the country and other countries. The idea that there are no standards for midwifery care is BS - there are standards and regulations and qualifications. There are midwives that practice outside those boundaries who will attend unsafe home births, but the majority of practicing midwives are advanced practice nurses with master’s degrees, not MLM essential oil salespeople.

Either way, OP, you seem like your heart has been in the right place. Give them space until you can truly internalize a lack of blame for them. If you can’t do that, just stay away. It’s bad enough for them.
Anonymous
You're disgusting, OP. I had a failed homebirth that ended in a c-section, the homebirth was not the cause of the c-section, and I would do it again. I would ghost any family members if I got wind they blamed me for my child's birth.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Adverse outcomes happen in every setting.


Yeah I mean why bother having any prenatal or medical care? Do as our ancestors did! I’m sure the live birth rate comparison even 50 years ago has nothing to do with the prevalence of giving birth in a hospital.


How uneducated to assume homebirth = no prenatal care.
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