Current college freshmen - how many of them are super happy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A note to other posters. Yes, I know that many students turn down a higher ranked school for a lower ranked one. Mine did, turning down a top 5-7 school for a top 15 for a large merit aid package. What I’m questioning is a student who turned down six schools ranked higher than the one selected. If this really happened, it’s only because the other six weren’t particularly highly ranked - so it made no difference. Once you hit second tier, whatever.

That’s my point.

That definitely is possible. I have no idea why you think otherwise. You clearly have very, very little real-world admissions experience.

Also FYI kids do not turn down higher ranked schools only for big merit age packages. It’s common to have merit aid not factor into the decision at all or very little, actually.

- former admissions officer.

Oh please. If it were so common for merit aid awards not to matter, there wouldn’t be so many of them being offered. It’s simple economics. Duh.

Man, you don’t mind showing everyone how utterly ignorant you are, do you?

If stating the obvious makes me ignorant, then I’m guilty as charged.

You’ve clearly never, ever worked in admissions. Stop embarrassing yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've already posted about DS who's feeling very little _joy_ at school yet is on stable footing and doing well. Posting again to address the thread drift, which states that Super Duper Happiness is found only that the lower ranked universities that all Just Fit Better. Or something.

I suspect I speak for a lot of kids and parents who believe their kids WOULD have a hell of a lot more fun at a big party school with tons of tailgating, many easy Gen Ed majors to choose from, and a centralized vibrant bar, music and party scene -- or at the very least, a chill, dominant laid back student vibe.

My DS would love that! He applied to multiple schools that offer that!

And none of them are nearly as good as the school / program he chose. None of them will open the same doors directly out of undergrad, just by virtue of graduating (ie, no hustle required). None of them have the name recognition in his chosen study.

Eyes wide open, he's accepting the interim struggle inherent in his caliber of school /program as the price to pay for the almost guaranteed rewards in a couple of years. I think this is a valid and rational plan.

Wow. The bolded is delusional.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DC is a first year at a top 20 school. His experience so far has been mixed. I am struck by how many of his high school peers are having likewise mixed experiences so far. They are doing well academically but are hit with feelings of ennui. This cohort has been through so much — high school sophomore year interrupted mid-year, a Covid induced discontinuous high school junior year and crazy college application process high school senior year. These kids are so confused now in their first year of college. The sense I get is that these kids just lost a big chunk of their childhood, as the formative high school years were kind of ripped away from them. Talk of transferring, pausing education and going on cross country camping trips abound. Anyone seeing this / feeling this from this cohort of kids? I struggle to offer words of encouragement, namely that it will all sort itself out.

TBH, it sounds like you are describing kids/families who prioritized rank over fit. Now you are wondering why they don’t seem happy.

Generally speaking, if you make life decisions based upon pleasing/impressing others, you are unlikely to achieve personal fulfillment (though your social media might be awesome).

Don’t be a dick. A northwestern or Penn is going to open a hell of a lot more doors than JMU and that’s just pragmatic — vs. an attempt to i “impress others”

Sometimes you do the more difficult thing that will yield a bigger payout later

+1

The point of the "pie eating contest" is to live an UMC life in a HCOL city. I don't understand why people here are complaining and moping about how working hard in high school to get into Stanford or wherever is just "a pie eating contest where the prize is eating more pie" -- that's not it at all. The prize is being able to graduate with a lucrative offer in tech or finance so you can set yourself up for a high QoL as an adult. Of course, if your kids at a T20 decide to be a teacher or a marine biologist or whatever do-gooder low-paying job they want, it's a colossal waste of the resources of an Ivy.

I see lots of suggestions for a fun gap year going cross-country camping. That's an AWFUL idea. I highly suggest OP's kid as well as anyone else with a kid in a similar situation take a gap year living on their own working a crappy minimum wage food service job. They will be WAY more appreciative of the opportunities they have when the come back to their T20 and be more focused on setting themselves up for a lucrative career post-grad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son, is a junior now, and started college during the worst of the pandemic, when classes were online from his dorm room and the campus was "de-densified." Freshman fall was a slog but by spring, even under not great circumstances, he had made friends and was finding his groove. As a junior, he loves college and is the happiest I've ever seen him.

All of this is to say that under any circumstances, change is hard and you need to give it time and effort. Attending college is a privilege and the opportunity to obtain an education is a gift, and sometimes kids need to stop wallowing and navel gazing and just get on with it. Yes, it's hard, yes it's ok to feel sad and lonely sometimes, but avoidant behavior like camping or whatever is not going to cure what ails you.

+1000

All these spoiled kids complaining about how their T20 is "such a pressure cooker" and how they "dislike being there" need to suck it up. They are being ungrateful brats who are completely unaware about the privileges they have. They need to focus on doing well in a lucrative major and securing a good future for themselves. The navel gazing about how they "wish they went to a school that's less of a pressure cooker" is absurd. Get to work and STOP navel gazing!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DC is a first year at a top 20 school. His experience so far has been mixed. I am struck by how many of his high school peers are having likewise mixed experiences so far. They are doing well academically but are hit with feelings of ennui. This cohort has been through so much — high school sophomore year interrupted mid-year, a Covid induced discontinuous high school junior year and crazy college application process high school senior year. These kids are so confused now in their first year of college. The sense I get is that these kids just lost a big chunk of their childhood, as the formative high school years were kind of ripped away from them. Talk of transferring, pausing education and going on cross country camping trips abound. Anyone seeing this / feeling this from this cohort of kids? I struggle to offer words of encouragement, namely that it will all sort itself out.

I suspect I know you IRL. My DS is the same, and his entire friend group (all at T20 schools) is right there too. I mention the T20 thing only because of the 'the proze for winning the pie eating contest is MORE PIE' thing. That's hitting DS unexpectedly hard, among other factors you cite. Namely the ennui of missing so much of HS (we live in a city that was locked down almost the longest).

More than one guy in DS's friend group is coming apart at the seams now in freshman year. It's heartbreaking.

The whole prize for winning is more pie thing is why I’d love my current jr to consider a gap year but it’s a hard sell since it’s so uncommon

I'm trying the same thing and am willing to bank roll world travel. He comment last week when I brought it up again was "but isn't that shameful?" I could not belive he used the word shame.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As adults, we refer to our college years as the BEST years of our life! In actuality, was it really after one semester of school?? Be realistic with your children. There are a lot of “firsts” from roommates to living far away from home to homesickness.

+1. My freshman year was probably my least favorite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've already posted about DS who's feeling very little _joy_ at school yet is on stable footing and doing well. Posting again to address the thread drift, which states that Super Duper Happiness is found only that the lower ranked universities that all Just Fit Better. Or something.

I suspect I speak for a lot of kids and parents who believe their kids WOULD have a hell of a lot more fun at a big party school with tons of tailgating, many easy Gen Ed majors to choose from, and a centralized vibrant bar, music and party scene -- or at the very least, a chill, dominant laid back student vibe.

My DS would love that! He applied to multiple schools that offer that!

And none of them are nearly as good as the school / program he chose. None of them will open the same doors directly out of undergrad, just by virtue of graduating (ie, no hustle required). None of them have the name recognition in his chosen study.

Eyes wide open, he's accepting the interim struggle inherent in his caliber of school /program as the price to pay for the almost guaranteed rewards in a couple of years. I think this is a valid and rational plan.

Wow. The bolded is delusional.

Wow. you've never met my kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DC is a first year at a top 20 school. His experience so far has been mixed. I am struck by how many of his high school peers are having likewise mixed experiences so far. They are doing well academically but are hit with feelings of ennui. This cohort has been through so much — high school sophomore year interrupted mid-year, a Covid induced discontinuous high school junior year and crazy college application process high school senior year. These kids are so confused now in their first year of college. The sense I get is that these kids just lost a big chunk of their childhood, as the formative high school years were kind of ripped away from them. Talk of transferring, pausing education and going on cross country camping trips abound. Anyone seeing this / feeling this from this cohort of kids? I struggle to offer words of encouragement, namely that it will all sort itself out.

I suspect I know you IRL. My DS is the same, and his entire friend group (all at T20 schools) is right there too. I mention the T20 thing only because of the 'the proze for winning the pie eating contest is MORE PIE' thing. That's hitting DS unexpectedly hard, among other factors you cite. Namely the ennui of missing so much of HS (we live in a city that was locked down almost the longest).

More than one guy in DS's friend group is coming apart at the seams now in freshman year. It's heartbreaking.

The whole prize for winning is more pie thing is why I’d love my current jr to consider a gap year but it’s a hard sell since it’s so uncommon

I'm trying the same thing and am willing to bank roll world travel. He comment last week when I brought it up again was "but isn't that shameful?" I could not belive he used the word shame.

LOL. Your kid is more mature than you are. It's extremely shameful to take a year off from an elite school to go travel the world on mom and dad's dime. At the very least he should be self-supporting (either working a crappy minimum wage job or doing a higher-paying internship) if he chooses to take a year off. Relying on your parents to pay your way through "finding yourself" for a year traveling the world is some navel-gazing Peter Pan bullshit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've already posted about DS who's feeling very little _joy_ at school yet is on stable footing and doing well. Posting again to address the thread drift, which states that Super Duper Happiness is found only that the lower ranked universities that all Just Fit Better. Or something.

I suspect I speak for a lot of kids and parents who believe their kids WOULD have a hell of a lot more fun at a big party school with tons of tailgating, many easy Gen Ed majors to choose from, and a centralized vibrant bar, music and party scene -- or at the very least, a chill, dominant laid back student vibe.

My DS would love that! He applied to multiple schools that offer that!

And none of them are nearly as good as the school / program he chose. None of them will open the same doors directly out of undergrad, just by virtue of graduating (ie, no hustle required). None of them have the name recognition in his chosen study.

Eyes wide open, he's accepting the interim struggle inherent in his caliber of school /program as the price to pay for the almost guaranteed rewards in a couple of years. I think this is a valid and rational plan.

Wow. The bolded is delusional.

Wow. you've never met my kid.

The PP is just jealous that their kid goes to a "laid-back, fun" party school with little job opps after graduation like VCU or College of Charleston. Meanwhile, the poor tortured tiger cubs at Ivies majoring in Econ or CS are walking into six figs jobs after graduation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DC is a first year at a top 20 school. His experience so far has been mixed. I am struck by how many of his high school peers are having likewise mixed experiences so far. They are doing well academically but are hit with feelings of ennui. This cohort has been through so much — high school sophomore year interrupted mid-year, a Covid induced discontinuous high school junior year and crazy college application process high school senior year. These kids are so confused now in their first year of college. The sense I get is that these kids just lost a big chunk of their childhood, as the formative high school years were kind of ripped away from them. Talk of transferring, pausing education and going on cross country camping trips abound. Anyone seeing this / feeling this from this cohort of kids? I struggle to offer words of encouragement, namely that it will all sort itself out.

TBH, it sounds like you are describing kids/families who prioritized rank over fit. Now you are wondering why they don’t seem happy.

Generally speaking, if you make life decisions based upon pleasing/impressing others, you are unlikely to achieve personal fulfillment (though your social media might be awesome).

Don’t be a dick. A northwestern or Penn is going to open a hell of a lot more doors than JMU and that’s just pragmatic — vs. an attempt to i “impress others”

Sometimes you do the more difficult thing that will yield a bigger payout later

+1

The point of the "pie eating contest" is to live an UMC life in a HCOL city. I don't understand why people here are complaining and moping about how working hard in high school to get into Stanford or wherever is just "a pie eating contest where the prize is eating more pie" -- that's not it at all. The prize is being able to graduate with a lucrative offer in tech or finance so you can set yourself up for a high QoL as an adult. Of course, if your kids at a T20 decide to be a teacher or a marine biologist or whatever do-gooder low-paying job they want, it's a colossal waste of the resources of an Ivy.

I see lots of suggestions for a fun gap year going cross-country camping. That's an AWFUL idea. I highly suggest OP's kid as well as anyone else with a kid in a similar situation take a gap year living on their own working a crappy minimum wage food service job. They will be WAY more appreciative of the opportunities they have when the come back to their T20 and be more focused on setting themselves up for a lucrative career post-grad.

Your poor kids. Did you raise them to be as shallow and judgmental as you are?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've already posted about DS who's feeling very little _joy_ at school yet is on stable footing and doing well. Posting again to address the thread drift, which states that Super Duper Happiness is found only that the lower ranked universities that all Just Fit Better. Or something.

I suspect I speak for a lot of kids and parents who believe their kids WOULD have a hell of a lot more fun at a big party school with tons of tailgating, many easy Gen Ed majors to choose from, and a centralized vibrant bar, music and party scene -- or at the very least, a chill, dominant laid back student vibe.

My DS would love that! He applied to multiple schools that offer that!

And none of them are nearly as good as the school / program he chose. None of them will open the same doors directly out of undergrad, just by virtue of graduating (ie, no hustle required). None of them have the name recognition in his chosen study.

Eyes wide open, he's accepting the interim struggle inherent in his caliber of school /program as the price to pay for the almost guaranteed rewards in a couple of years. I think this is a valid and rational plan.

Why do so many only think in black & white? There are so many assumptions made to put down others choices and make one feel superior. smh

I'm not putting down others. I don't care where you go to school, or your kid.

That said, recruiting pipelines are a real thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've already posted about DS who's feeling very little _joy_ at school yet is on stable footing and doing well. Posting again to address the thread drift, which states that Super Duper Happiness is found only that the lower ranked universities that all Just Fit Better. Or something.

I suspect I speak for a lot of kids and parents who believe their kids WOULD have a hell of a lot more fun at a big party school with tons of tailgating, many easy Gen Ed majors to choose from, and a centralized vibrant bar, music and party scene -- or at the very least, a chill, dominant laid back student vibe.

My DS would love that! He applied to multiple schools that offer that!

And none of them are nearly as good as the school / program he chose. None of them will open the same doors directly out of undergrad, just by virtue of graduating (ie, no hustle required). None of them have the name recognition in his chosen study.

Eyes wide open, he's accepting the interim struggle inherent in his caliber of school /program as the price to pay for the almost guaranteed rewards in a couple of years. I think this is a valid and rational plan.

Wow. The bolded is delusional.

Wow. you've never met my kid.

The PP is just jealous that their kid goes to a "laid-back, fun" party school with little job opps after graduation like VCU or College of Charleston. Meanwhile, the poor tortured tiger cubs at Ivies majoring in Econ or CS are walking into six figs jobs after graduation.

My God your children must despise you. I feel so, so sorry for them.

[Anonymous]

Sooooo … I think what this thread has shown is that there are a lot of kids who are indeed miserable in college, but it has a lot more to do with their monstrously competitive and insane parents than it does with the actual college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've already posted about DS who's feeling very little _joy_ at school yet is on stable footing and doing well. Posting again to address the thread drift, which states that Super Duper Happiness is found only that the lower ranked universities that all Just Fit Better. Or something.

I suspect I speak for a lot of kids and parents who believe their kids WOULD have a hell of a lot more fun at a big party school with tons of tailgating, many easy Gen Ed majors to choose from, and a centralized vibrant bar, music and party scene -- or at the very least, a chill, dominant laid back student vibe.

My DS would love that! He applied to multiple schools that offer that!

And none of them are nearly as good as the school / program he chose. None of them will open the same doors directly out of undergrad, just by virtue of graduating (ie, no hustle required). None of them have the name recognition in his chosen study.

Eyes wide open, he's accepting the interim struggle inherent in his caliber of school /program as the price to pay for the almost guaranteed rewards in a couple of years. I think this is a valid and rational plan.

Wow. The bolded is delusional.

Wow. you've never met my kid.

The PP is just jealous that their kid goes to a "laid-back, fun" party school with little job opps after graduation like VCU or College of Charleston. Meanwhile, the poor tortured tiger cubs at Ivies majoring in Econ or CS are walking into six figs jobs after graduation.

Sounds like the camp counselor/internship troll is back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DC is a first year at a top 20 school. His experience so far has been mixed. I am struck by how many of his high school peers are having likewise mixed experiences so far. They are doing well academically but are hit with feelings of ennui. This cohort has been through so much — high school sophomore year interrupted mid-year, a Covid induced discontinuous high school junior year and crazy college application process high school senior year. These kids are so confused now in their first year of college. The sense I get is that these kids just lost a big chunk of their childhood, as the formative high school years were kind of ripped away from them. Talk of transferring, pausing education and going on cross country camping trips abound. Anyone seeing this / feeling this from this cohort of kids? I struggle to offer words of encouragement, namely that it will all sort itself out.

I suspect I know you IRL. My DS is the same, and his entire friend group (all at T20 schools) is right there too. I mention the T20 thing only because of the 'the proze for winning the pie eating contest is MORE PIE' thing. That's hitting DS unexpectedly hard, among other factors you cite. Namely the ennui of missing so much of HS (we live in a city that was locked down almost the longest).

More than one guy in DS's friend group is coming apart at the seams now in freshman year. It's heartbreaking.

The whole prize for winning is more pie thing is why I’d love my current jr to consider a gap year but it’s a hard sell since it’s so uncommon

I'm trying the same thing and am willing to bank roll world travel. He comment last week when I brought it up again was "but isn't that shameful?" I could not belive he used the word shame.

LOL. Your kid is more mature than you are. It's extremely shameful to take a year off from an elite school to go travel the world on mom and dad's dime. At the very least he should be self-supporting (either working a crappy minimum wage job or doing a higher-paying internship) if he chooses to take a year off. Relying on your parents to pay your way through "finding yourself" for a year traveling the world is some navel-gazing Peter Pan bullshit.

It IS the camp counselor/internship troll! Pay no attention to this fake poster.