Resentful PTA moms

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I work full time and can't volunteer for anything. I'm so grateful for our PTA. They really make my kid's school a nice place.

+1
I work FT outside the home and I volunteer a lot now but did not for a few difficult years in the past. I was really grateful for the PTA at our school too! It's a lot of nice moms who are really organized. I don't personally know of anyone who was power hungry. I'm sure there are people like that but I've never run in to them in 10 years of kids in MCPS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Former PTA president here. I was fine with the fact that PTA is not for everyone and not everyone wants to or can volunteer. But don't complain when people actually put time and effort into something if you aren't willing to put the same time in. Its that simple.

Current PTA President here, and yes, this...it's the complaining that you want more programs, activities, etc., but not putting in any time that is the challenge for the few of us who do volunteer our time in addition to parenting and working.

This. It's always the same 20% of parents volunteering. For 6 years of elementary. Most of us have jobs and busy lives as well.

In my experience as a PTA VP, people always want to give ideas but never the time to make those ideas reality. For example, they will speak up in a PTA meeting & say we should have a specific event, like school dance. Great idea - will you be on the organizing committee for the school dance? Oh no, they are too busy! But then they will complain to their friends that we don't have a school dance & the useless PTA doesn't do anything. People loved to tell us what we should do but aren't willing assist with the actual planning & execution.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Former PTA president here. I was fine with the fact that PTA is not for everyone and not everyone wants to or can volunteer. But don't complain when people actually put time and effort into something if you aren't willing to put the same time in. Its that simple.

Current PTA President here, and yes, this...it's the complaining that you want more programs, activities, etc., but not putting in any time that is the challenge for the few of us who do volunteer our time in addition to parenting and working.

This. It's always the same 20% of parents volunteering. For 6 years of elementary. Most of us have jobs and busy lives as well.

In my experience as a PTA VP, people always want to give ideas but never the time to make those ideas reality. For example, they will speak up in a PTA meeting & say we should have a specific event, like school dance. Great idea - will you be on the organizing committee for the school dance? Oh no, they are too busy! But then they will complain to their friends that we don't have a school dance & the useless PTA doesn't do anything. People loved to tell us what we should do but aren't willing assist with the actual planning & execution.

Exactly. Ours belittle the president who does almost everything and when they say great idea, keep me informed on how it’s progressing, they have a fit and say they don’t have time. Why sit on a board if you don’t want to help.

[Anonymous]

Don't lay the sidewalk until you know where people will walk

Most PTA ideas don't happen because the projects aren't wanted, not wanted enough by enough people. That's your answer.

[Anonymous]

The only thing I ever wanted from the PTA was the Directory

[Anonymous]

Interesting reading.

When we moved to a new ES, I volunteered for events and felt somewhat excluded since many of the parents (mostly moms, very few dads) already knew one another and were chatting and familiar. But I kept going because I wanted to see the kids, help the school.

Yes, some moms wanted to "own" certain events and were not welcoming of others. Since my goal was to see the kiddos and help out the school, I ignored them. I also ignored the parents who signed up to help at events but then stood in a corner talking with their friends the entire time, not lifting a finger to help out.

Happily, some of the more "I own this" moms eventually left because their kids grew up. Those "owned" events became far more inclusive and allowed space for other parents to engage. I am hopeful this model with continue, because at the end of the day it's about doing good for the kids and the school.

Sad that some folks can't get beyond their own egos and myopia to focus on what matters. Avoid them and just get the job done - kinda like with toxic people at work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think most PTA moms are any certain way, but as a former MS PTA president, I can tell you that parents/teachers were not shy about telling us what they thought we should be doing but it was like pulling teeth to get volunteers and to get people to show up to meetings. I definitely wasn't a great PTA president, but nobody else wanted to do it and it was absurd that our school of 1400 kids would not have a PTA.

I decided early on that if we didn't have someone volunteer to chair an event, we wouldn't have that event. I wasn't about to be a martyr when there were hundreds of families at the school that could help. If that meant fewer events than other people thought we "should" have, so be it. The bottom line is volunteering at PTA events isn't a favor you are doing for the PTA board, it is something you are doing to help your child's school. If you aren't interested, don't do it, and as PTA president, I was friendly and thankful for all our volunteers, but it wasn't like I was the beneficiary of their efforts -- our children's school was.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't lay the sidewalk until you know where people will walk

Most PTA ideas don't happen because the projects aren't wanted, not wanted enough by enough people. That's your answer.

And yet those same people complain about so many things they could fix with just a few hours of volunteer time per month/ year by all families.
I agree if no one wants to step up to organize an event it should not happen, but some things the PTA does relate to a basic level of community for the school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Former PTA president here. I was fine with the fact that PTA is not for everyone and not everyone wants to or can volunteer. But don't complain when people actually put time and effort into something if you aren't willing to put the same time in. Its that simple.

Current PTA President here, and yes, this...it's the complaining that you want more programs, activities, etc., but not putting in any time that is the challenge for the few of us who do volunteer our time in addition to parenting and working.

This. It's always the same 20% of parents volunteering. For 6 years of elementary. Most of us have jobs and busy lives as well.

In my experience as a PTA VP, people always want to give ideas but never the time to make those ideas reality. For example, they will speak up in a PTA meeting & say we should have a specific event, like school dance. Great idea - will you be on the organizing committee for the school dance? Oh no, they are too busy! But then they will complain to their friends that we don't have a school dance & the useless PTA doesn't do anything. People loved to tell us what we should do but aren't willing assist with the actual planning & execution.

They will complain that the PTA doesn't do anything and aren't open to outsiders or new ideas, that they were hostile or unfriendly. When the reality was the people with all the "great" ideas never wanted to roll up their sleeves and help do the work. They thought they were above it and the PTA was there to serve them. When what the PTA really needs is more people to step up and do the work and implement the great ideas. There is no shortage of ideas, but usually a shortage of funds and people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At my old PTA there is also constant moaning about lack of volunteers, no one wants to lead, and so on. But again, they are so unwelcoming that most of the new volunteers quit after kindergarten year. They have a blatant bias against women who are slim and/or cute (they are all aggressively frumpy and wear things like Disney sweatpants). One woman (sahm, lots of energy) tried to get involved on the board and they dug up old Facebook posts and ran a shadow campaign accusing her of... Being Republican (it was enough to cause an uproar and she ended up dropping out.) I was told my volunteering was no longer welcome because I was her friend. I ended up leaving the school.

"Aggressively frumpy" is my new band name.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At my old PTA there is also constant moaning about lack of volunteers, no one wants to lead, and so on. But again, they are so unwelcoming that most of the new volunteers quit after kindergarten year. They have a blatant bias against women who are slim and/or cute (they are all aggressively frumpy and wear things like Disney sweatpants). One woman (sahm, lots of energy) tried to get involved on the board and they dug up old Facebook posts and ran a shadow campaign accusing her of... Being Republican (it was enough to cause an uproar and she ended up dropping out.) I was told my volunteering was no longer welcome because I was her friend. I ended up leaving the school.

"Aggressively frumpy" is my new band name.

Is it really new or are you just deciding to own it