Resentful PTA moms

[Anonymous]

The PTA moms at our school always seem very irritated. Upset that more people aren’t volunteering, annoyed that a couple board positions are unfilled… I understand that this is frustrating but this sort of behavior drives people away rather than luring them in. I’m happy to help with my time and my money but I’m not interested in sitting in meetings with other moms who want to complain all day about everything.

Are most PTAs like this?

[Anonymous]

yes.

[Anonymous]

I don't think most PTA moms are any certain way, but as a former MS PTA president, I can tell you that parents/teachers were not shy about telling us what they thought we should be doing but it was like pulling teeth to get volunteers and to get people to show up to meetings. I definitely wasn't a great PTA president, but nobody else wanted to do it and it was absurd that our school of 1400 kids would not have a PTA.

I decided early on that if we didn't have someone volunteer to chair an event, we wouldn't have that event. I wasn't about to be a martyr when there were hundreds of families at the school that could help. If that meant fewer events than other people thought we "should" have, so be it. The bottom line is volunteering at PTA events isn't a favor you are doing for the PTA board, it is something you are doing to help your child's school. If you aren't interested, don't do it, and as PTA president, I was friendly and thankful for all our volunteers, but it wasn't like I was the beneficiary of their efforts -- our children's school was.

[Anonymous]

11:33 - you are so right. Lots of complaints and opinions but very few who will actually do the work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:11:33 - you are so right. Lots of complaints and opinions but very few who will actually do the work.

+1. Everybody thinks they are way too busy to volunteer, but the people who did volunteer must have time on their hands, right? I think people way underestimate the effort it takes to pull off an event or project.

[Anonymous]

A lot of pta events are stupid wastes of time. And I don’t think ptas are the way to go to raise money for school. It’s not diffident or equitable.

I volunteer by donating to and volunteering for political candidates that want to increase school funding via taxes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:11:33 - you are so right. Lots of complaints and opinions but very few who will actually do the work.

+1. Everybody thinks they are way too busy to volunteer, but the people who did volunteer must have time on their hands, right? I think people way underestimate the effort it takes to pull off an event or project.

Then stop the stupid make work projects and events.

[Anonymous]

I think all PTAs have to have certain roles filled? Treasurer? President? A few other official positions? After that everything is actually "legal" which is important because there is money and banking involved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The PTA moms at our school always seem very irritated. Upset that more people aren’t volunteering, annoyed that a couple board positions are unfilled… I understand that this is frustrating but this sort of behavior drives people away rather than luring them in. I’m happy to help with my time and my money but I’m not interested in sitting in meetings with other moms who want to complain all day about everything.

Are most PTAs like this?

Initially, I volunteered but found them so unpleasant to be around I stopped.

[Anonymous]

I was a PTSA president when my kids were in school. It was a time-consuming role. And someone will always be mad at you. But, we raised $32,000 to build a new playground. All the kids benefited from that project. The next year, we were able to put new technology in every classroom. A huge plus for our teachers.

I'll admit that I judge parents who choose not to be involved. I'm busy too. It's amazing that the busiest people I know always find time to volunteer at school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was a PTSA president when my kids were in school. It was a time-consuming role. And someone will always be mad at you. But, we raised $32,000 to build a new playground. All the kids benefited from that project. The next year, we were able to put new technology in every classroom. A huge plus for our teachers.

I'll admit that I judge parents who choose not to be involved. I'm busy too. It's amazing that the busiest people I know always find time to volunteer at school.

A: Amazing that you raised 32k!!!
B: You might never actually get to know the busiest parents because, you know, they're busy doing other things.

[Anonymous]

OP ours is not like this. There are some unfilled positions. Officers, committee members, and chairs work with what they have. They are all too busy to waste time griping. They recruit and then they adjust plans based on who/what is available. You don't attract volunteers by being negative.

[Anonymous]

Exactly which roles are *required* vs optional?

[Anonymous]

Ours was like this once and has since improved, even though they still have some difficulty filling slots. The lack of volunteering, in at least some capacity, on the part of some parents is deeply frustrating. Now, I avoid those parents who won’t raise a finger to help and save my positive energy for those who will. IME, recruiting people who don’t want to be there doesn’t end well because they shirk their duties and whine constantly.

Better to make do with a few enthusiastic volunteers than deal with adult-sized children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The PTA moms at our school always seem very irritated. Upset that more people aren’t volunteering, annoyed that a couple board positions are unfilled… I understand that this is frustrating but this sort of behavior drives people away rather than luring them in. I’m happy to help with my time and my money but I’m not interested in sitting in meetings with other moms who want to complain all day about everything.

Are most PTAs like this?

Initially, I volunteered but found them so unpleasant to be around I stopped.

Wow that's exactly what happened to me. I'd volunteered to be in one of those roles, but the president was kind of domineering and not what one would call welcoming, so I just let her take over the role (because that's what it seemed like she wanted to do) and exited myself from the group. I was trying to make sure the security aspect was solid but encountered so much resistance that I was like forget it. I do appreciate the PTA and their efforts but I guess it's just for people who can get along with that group.