Resentful PTA moms

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:11:33 - you are so right. Lots of complaints and opinions but very few who will actually do the work.

+1. Everybody thinks they are way too busy to volunteer, but the people who did volunteer must have time on their hands, right? I think people way underestimate the effort it takes to pull off an event or project.

Then stop the stupid make work projects and events.

I don’t make them do anything. They will complain that there is no fall festival. And when you tell them it is a great idea, they can chair it, they refuse. Or the book fair needs more to be open for longer hours. Great! Are you and your friends going to staff it? Of course not. Never.

[Anonymous]

Former PTA president here. I was fine with the fact that PTA is not for everyone and not everyone wants to or can volunteer. But don't complain when people actually put time and effort into something if you aren't willing to put the same time in. Its that simple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Former PTA president here. I was fine with the fact that PTA is not for everyone and not everyone wants to or can volunteer. But don't complain when people actually put time and effort into something if you aren't willing to put the same time in. Its that simple.

Current PTA President here, and yes, this...it's the complaining that you want more programs, activities, etc., but not putting in any time that is the challenge for the few of us who do volunteer our time in addition to parenting and working.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was a PTSA president when my kids were in school. It was a time-consuming role. And someone will always be mad at you. But, we raised $32,000 to build a new playground. All the kids benefited from that project. The next year, we were able to put new technology in every classroom. A huge plus for our teachers.

I'll admit that I judge parents who choose not to be involved. I'm busy too. It's amazing that the busiest people I know always find time to volunteer at school.

I’m a SAHM mom and I seldom volunteer. I get asked to volunteer a lot and I think people wonder why I’m not at the school more… but here’s the thing, I’m
not a SAHM by choice. I desperately want to work. But I have 3 kids under 8, elderly parents (80s) who require my help with appointments. Not enough money to outsource yard work, repairs, house cleaning, childcare right now. All of these things are very time-consuming.

The “busiest people” have a life that is set up for them to be out of the house. I know bc I used to be one of these people. I had a FT job and a nanny and cleaning lady and people who kept up with landscaping. I had more flexibility then than I do now. Sigh.

[Anonymous]

At my old PTA there is also constant moaning about lack of volunteers, no one wants to lead, and so on. But again, they are so unwelcoming that most of the new volunteers quit after kindergarten year. They have a blatant bias against women who are slim and/or cute (they are all aggressively frumpy and wear things like Disney sweatpants). One woman (sahm, lots of energy) tried to get involved on the board and they dug up old Facebook posts and ran a shadow campaign accusing her of... Being Republican (it was enough to cause an uproar and she ended up dropping out.) I was told my volunteering was no longer welcome because I was her friend. I ended up leaving the school.

[Anonymous]

I spent many years on the PTA Board of our elementary, and every time there's a PTA-bashing post on DCUM, I have to laugh.

There will always be annoying parents who are outside the PTA and complain about parents inside the PTA. And vice-versa!!!

But MOST parents do not complain. They volunteer, or maybe they don't, and they just go about their day without criticizing all and sundry.

Please realize that you're focusing on a few people who are noisy and full of negativity, and ignoring all the rest who are being quietly functional. And reframe your thinking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:11:33 - you are so right. Lots of complaints and opinions but very few who will actually do the work.

+1. Everybody thinks they are way too busy to volunteer, but the people who did volunteer must have time on their hands, right? I think people way underestimate the effort it takes to pull off an event or project.

Then stop the stupid make work projects and events.

I don’t make them do anything. They will complain that there is no fall festival. And when you tell them it is a great idea, they can chair it, they refuse. Or the book fair needs more to be open for longer hours. Great! Are you and your friends going to staff it? Of course not. Never.

Then you don't have to volunteer either. It is voluntary. Who cares what "they" say.

[Anonymous]

I never engaged with the PTA and I avoided those who did. Normally they seemed to have problem kids of some kind and thought their extra presence at school could balance out or micromanage those difficulties. Behavioral difficulties I'm talking about here, not learning or other special needs.

[Anonymous]

I was involved in the PTA a lot over the years.

A PP hit on something that more PTAs need to take seriously. A lot of the events they deem as important have low volunteer participation bc parents don't see the event as valuable and think oh well if it doesn't happen and if it does that's nice too. So if an event is struggling to get volunteers, just don't hold it. If there are parents who really want to volunteer they will step up but 9 times out of the 10 the time of year rolls around the next year after the event is not held, some parents ask about it, again no one is interested in volunteering, it's not held and there is far less moaning and groaning. In my experience by the next year it becomes an event that used to be done and that's that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I never engaged with the PTA and I avoided those who did. Normally they seemed to have problem kids of some kind and thought their extra presence at school could balance out or micromanage those difficulties. Behavioral difficulties I'm talking about here, not learning or other special needs.

How would you know what the source of the behavior difficulties were? These people aren't your friends so it's not like you would know if there were special needs or not. You sound like a piece of work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:11:33 - you are so right. Lots of complaints and opinions but very few who will actually do the work.

+1. Everybody thinks they are way too busy to volunteer, but the people who did volunteer must have time on their hands, right? I think people way underestimate the effort it takes to pull off an event or project.

I worked FT when my daughter was in kindergarten. No one signed up for room mom, so I took the position. I used my lunch hour, even though it was at 10 am some days, and it worked fine. People can make time. So many SAHM’s that refused to help. I provided all food, drinks, games, paper products, prizes, essentials, etc as there was no way I was counting on anyone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was a PTSA president when my kids were in school. It was a time-consuming role. And someone will always be mad at you. But, we raised $32,000 to build a new playground. All the kids benefited from that project. The next year, we were able to put new technology in every classroom. A huge plus for our teachers.

I'll admit that I judge parents who choose not to be involved. I'm busy too. It's amazing that the busiest people I know always find time to volunteer at school.

Judging someone who doesn't prioritize fundraising for their kids' school over other things is different than someone who doesn't prioritize their kids over other things

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:11:33 - you are so right. Lots of complaints and opinions but very few who will actually do the work.

+1. Everybody thinks they are way too busy to volunteer, but the people who did volunteer must have time on their hands, right? I think people way underestimate the effort it takes to pull off an event or project.

I worked FT when my daughter was in kindergarten. No one signed up for room mom, so I took the position. I used my lunch hour, even though it was at 10 am some days, and it worked fine. People can make time. So many SAHM’s that refused to help. I provided all food, drinks, games, paper products, prizes, essentials, etc as there was no way I was counting on anyone else.

I haven't seen this at all. Normally the room mom puts out a sign up genius for cups, napkins, plates, etc and everyone scrambles to sign up for the easy job of dropping something off or sending it in. Those spots filled up immediately. What people don't want to do is drop everything and man the party for 20 minutes in the middle of a day to be there in person. But sending in the juice boxes is easy peasy. I was a SAHM when I had kids in kindergarten and I often had a baby at home, so no, I didn't have anyone available in the middle of the day to babysit so I could attend said party. It's no different than a WOHM who can't just leave in the middle of the day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:11:33 - you are so right. Lots of complaints and opinions but very few who will actually do the work.

+1. Everybody thinks they are way too busy to volunteer, but the people who did volunteer must have time on their hands, right? I think people way underestimate the effort it takes to pull off an event or project.

Then stop the stupid make work projects and events.

I don’t make them do anything. They will complain that there is no fall festival. And when you tell them it is a great idea, they can chair it, they refuse. Or the book fair needs more to be open for longer hours. Great! Are you and your friends going to staff it? Of course not. Never.

Then you don't have to volunteer either. It is voluntary. Who cares what "they" say.

I don’t went to hear from annoying people. Stop contacting me.

[Anonymous]

My DC's school *constantly* ask for volunteers--for lunch and recess, book fair, girls on the run, school events--it is incessant. My SAHM was never asked to do one damn thing at my school when I was a child. It's gotten completely out of control! And the vast majority of parents work, so I don't know where they think all these bodies are supposed to come from in the middle of the day.