Resentful PTA moms

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:On my kid's PTA (I'm the secretary) we complain about the state of education in general . . . lack of funding, high stakes testing, inept school board, unapproachable principal. But we don't really complain about other parents, no.

PTAs are supposed to advocate, that's all. They're not supposed to make up for lack of funding or be in charge of programming for the school or anything like that. So anything PTAs do in that arena is gravy, not a requirement.

Maybe these PTA moms feel unappreciated, which is totally understandable. We just expect some people to do free labor out of the goodness of their hearts (which is basically what teaching is at this point). Or maybe they have anxiety about their school not being "good enough" without their efforts, so they feel like other people not volunteering is threatening their own children's experience. Who knows.

This is very true. But at a lot of schools, a precedent has been set that PTAs are there to plan events and raise money and that is what they spend so much of their time doing. As a PTA leader, I have found that those efforts are easier and more appreciated than anything you try to advocate for when dealing with MCPS. Which is sad but it is what it is.

[Anonymous]

I really don't think their causes are worthwhile. Frankly I don't care about events or celebrations. I'd like more school maintenance, better playgrounds, textbooks, paper for the teachers and field trips. I want things that actually increase learning and test scores. The county already does a wonderful job of holding local events and celebrations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I really don't think their causes are worthwhile. Frankly I don't care about events or celebrations. I'd like more school maintenance, better playgrounds, textbooks, paper for the teachers and field trips. I want things that actually increase learning and test scores. The county already does a wonderful job of holding local events and celebrations.

Totally agree and if you even hint to the fact that something academic could be improved, the PTA accuses you of dumping on the teachers. So it's all sunshine and book fairs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was a PTSA president when my kids were in school. It was a time-consuming role. And someone will always be mad at you. But, we raised $32,000 to build a new playground. All the kids benefited from that project. The next year, we were able to put new technology in every classroom. A huge plus for our teachers.

I'll admit that I judge parents who choose not to be involved. I'm busy too. It's amazing that the busiest people I know always find time to volunteer at school.

A: Amazing that you raised 32k!!!
B: You might never actually get to know the busiest parents because, you know, they're busy doing other things.

A fun run raised 15lk at our school. Laps for learning raises quite a bit, and there was a third race as well.
It stopped during covid, but a fundraiser from this place in Leesburg sold hundreds of Thanksgiving pies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Exactly which roles are *required* vs optional?

National PTA sets rules, including you have to have some turnover each year.
PTO operates differently, and you won't have the issue like with TJ where the state PTA comes in and threatens to remove the president.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:11:33 - you are so right. Lots of complaints and opinions but very few who will actually do the work.

+1. Everybody thinks they are way too busy to volunteer, but the people who did volunteer must have time on their hands, right? I think people way underestimate the effort it takes to pull off an event or project.

I worked FT when my daughter was in kindergarten. No one signed up for room mom, so I took the position. I used my lunch hour, even though it was at 10 am some days, and it worked fine. People can make time. So many SAHM’s that refused to help. I provided all food, drinks, games, paper products, prizes, essentials, etc as there was no way I was counting on anyone else.

Actually, not everyone can make the time. Are there some who probably could reshuffle things like you did to make it work? Sure. But not everyone has the option to do so. You really have no idea what is going on in everyone else's lives and it is most certainly not your place to judge them, especially when you don't actually know what obligations and commitments they have. (They're not reporting them to you because it's none of your business!) And even if someone can reshuffle things to be a room parent, they may not view the room parent as important enough to justify the additional work. It's lovely that people step up to do it (and I give money to support the class activities) but I don't volunteer as room parent because I don't care whether my children have a classroom party. It's is not the thing or even among the top 10 things that provide joy and meaning to my kids' elementary experience. There are plenty of other opportunities for sugar consumption and crafts.

[Anonymous]

I dunno, the biggest drama from our PTA meetings seems to come not from the PTA board but disgruntled parents (who may or may not be actual PTA members because anyone can attend) who use it as an avenue for venting about anything and everything, particularly if they have an axe to grind with the principal. It can be entertaining but also really awkward.

[Anonymous]

I have been at a few MCPS and there have never been any teachers involved in the PTA. They should just call it the PA.

[Anonymous]

I am a member of my kid's PTA, and I volunteered for a role the first year. I was happy to help my kid's school, but I did not have an interest in being involved in the weird power struggles/social dynamics (three officers worked together to remove a fourth from their role so a friend could take the job). I also really did not like that the president made several jokes about not letting me relinquish my role at the end of the year. Now I pay to be a member and volunteer for individual events, but never again a PTA role.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I really don't think their causes are worthwhile. Frankly I don't care about events or celebrations. I'd like more school maintenance, better playgrounds, textbooks, paper for the teachers and field trips. I want things that actually increase learning and test scores. The county already does a wonderful job of holding local events and celebrations.

PTA is in place to advocate for that with law makers and create a community. PTA is not there to fund the school, student opportunity or have community events - though some PTAs are finding clever ways to do that too because they will not be able to build a community without that.

[Anonymous]

If someone whines about PTA's having to much money, I think all PTA's should stop all fundraising altogether. Parents can directly contribute to their teachers and schools. The PTA can just hold meetings to discuss issues parents have.

Done. See how easy that was!

[Anonymous]

I have never complained about anything or asked about anything from my children school or teachers. What they offer we take, my kids are exactly average so it works out well.

I have never volunteered for any PTA event because it al looks like unnecessary fuss to me. I volunteer for other things l find more pressing (like helping truly needy children which are not as fortunate as my own).

I would agree that if you can’t help, you can’t complain.
If you complain, then you have to help. And also that if not enough volunteers sign up, events should not happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have never complained about anything or asked about anything from my children school or teachers. What they offer we take, my kids are exactly average so it works out well.

I have never volunteered for any PTA event because it al looks like unnecessary fuss to me. I volunteer for other things l find more pressing (like helping truly needy children which are not as fortunate as my own).

I would agree that if you can’t help, you can’t complain.
If you complain, then you have to help. And also that if not enough volunteers sign up, events should not happen.

There are kids in your school that are less fortunate. Start with helping your own first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The PTA moms at our school always seem very irritated. Upset that more people aren’t volunteering, annoyed that a couple board positions are unfilled… I understand that this is frustrating but this sort of behavior drives people away rather than luring them in. I’m happy to help with my time and my money but I’m not interested in sitting in meetings with other moms who want to complain all day about everything.

Are most PTAs like this?

PTAs have mostly become a platform for Drama

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If someone whines about PTA's having to much money, I think all PTA's should stop all fundraising altogether. Parents can directly contribute to their teachers and schools. The PTA can just hold meetings to discuss issues parents have.

Done. See how easy that was!

Equity issues mean it will never be this easy.