Resentful PTA moms

[Anonymous]

I have college students and high schoolers, and after a few experiences with the grade school PTA I will not go near it, no way no how. It's full of spiders and vipers and gossiping, humorless control freaks. I still get the first-of-year "Join the PTA!" flyers and they make good recycling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have college students and high schoolers, and after a few experiences with the grade school PTA I will not go near it, no way no how. It's full of spiders and vipers and gossiping, humorless control freaks. I still get the first-of-year "Join the PTA!" flyers and they make good recycling.

Does everyone on this board suffer from untreated anxiety? I can't believe how many of you believe there is some sort of mean-mom cabal running the local PTA. Get therapy. And while you're at it, examine your own internalized misogyny. Groups of women (volunteering for their children) are not vipers! Even if they intimidate you for unexamined reasons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The PTA moms at our school always seem very irritated. Upset that more people aren’t volunteering, annoyed that a couple board positions are unfilled… I understand that this is frustrating but this sort of behavior drives people away rather than luring them in. I’m happy to help with my time and my money but I’m not interested in sitting in meetings with other moms who want to complain all day about everything.

Are most PTAs like this?

I'm a PTA President at a middle school and our PTA officers including me are pretty laid back. Being an officer while having a full time job is enough and we're not going to burn ourselves out just to have events. We decided early on that the events will be run by committees and if we don't have any volunteers to execute those events, we just don't have them. To me, the lack of volunteers is a direct reflection of how badly (or not) the families want to have them. So no volunteers? Then we move on and aren't at all irritated by it. And if there are no events, then be it.

You also need to be doing more. Our school had this attitude but when other parents did step up the president had to control it and either take the credit or she’d find ways to sabotage it. She ran off some board members who did do a lot and replaced them with friends who did nothing and bailed after a year.

Why do I need to do more? Your experience is yours..not ours.

[Anonymous]

I know exactly what you mean, not in MCPS though. It's the self-righteousness. They volunteer, you don't, so that buys them rights to crap on you and claim moral superiority.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been at a few MCPS and there have never been any teachers involved in the PTA. They should just call it the PA.

I think this is almost every school. Then again, I don't like staying late at my job to not get paid more for the time so I get it. The teachers who come to our events are the ones who are single without kids.

Our school has a teacher on the board and teacher members.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have college students and high schoolers, and after a few experiences with the grade school PTA I will not go near it, no way no how. It's full of spiders and vipers and gossiping, humorless control freaks. I still get the first-of-year "Join the PTA!" flyers and they make good recycling.

Does everyone on this board suffer from untreated anxiety? I can't believe how many of you believe there is some sort of mean-mom cabal running the local PTA. Get therapy. And while you're at it, examine your own internalized misogyny. Groups of women (volunteering for their children) are not vipers! Even if they intimidate you for unexamined reasons.

Exactly. To me, the mean mom attitude is coming from those who don't volunteer but yet find a way to complain and criticize those who do.

[Anonymous]

It seems that there are too many pet projects and that leads to individuals fighting in order to keep their own projects alive. The P-T-A is suppose to be teachers and administrators also and it's not. PTA needs that balance. There needs to be leadership: we have all decided to do this/not that. Planning long term. Unfortunately, besides lack of time, I also feel that teachers but especially the administration don't mind that the parents fight about "fluff". They'd rather that than the curriculum or anything that would affect them in a serious way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It seems that there are too many pet projects and that leads to individuals fighting in order to keep their own projects alive. The P-T-A is suppose to be teachers and administrators also and it's not. PTA needs that balance. There needs to be leadership: we have all decided to do this/not that. Planning long term. Unfortunately, besides lack of time, I also feel that teachers but especially the administration don't mind that the parents fight about "fluff". They'd rather that than the curriculum or anything that would affect them in a serious way.

You need to understand- these pet projects you talk about have to be voted on by guess what - the PTA members (Parents, teachers, and students if PTSA). So be a member so you can vote.

[Anonymous]

As a grandmother who has grandchildren in elementary schools, I would gladly volunteer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:11:33 - you are so right. Lots of complaints and opinions but very few who will actually do the work.

+1. Everybody thinks they are way too busy to volunteer, but the people who did volunteer must have time on their hands, right? I think people way underestimate the effort it takes to pull off an event or project.

I worked FT when my daughter was in kindergarten. No one signed up for room mom, so I took the position. I used my lunch hour, even though it was at 10 am some days, and it worked fine. People can make time. So many SAHM’s that refused to help. I provided all food, drinks, games, paper products, prizes, essentials, etc as there was no way I was counting on anyone else.

Actually, not everyone can make the time. Are there some who probably could reshuffle things like you did to make it work? Sure. But not everyone has the option to do so. You really have no idea what is going on in everyone else's lives and it is most certainly not your place to judge them, especially when you don't actually know what obligations and commitments they have. (They're not reporting them to you because it's none of your business!) And even if someone can reshuffle things to be a room parent, they may not view the room parent as important enough to justify the additional work. It's lovely that people step up to do it (and I give money to support the class activities) but I don't volunteer as room parent because I don't care whether my children have a classroom party. It's is not the thing or even among the top 10 things that provide joy and meaning to my kids' elementary experience. There are plenty of other opportunities for sugar consumption and crafts.

Forget your Xanax today?

[Anonymous]

This thread makes me sad. It's like people are to create negativity because they don't want to volunteer or something. Yeah, there are a few power mongers, but most people are trying to do something good. Consider helping out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread makes me sad. It's like people are to create negativity because they don't want to volunteer or something. Yeah, there are a few power mongers, but most people are trying to do something good. Consider helping out.

Indeed. But DCUM gonna DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems that there are too many pet projects and that leads to individuals fighting in order to keep their own projects alive. The P-T-A is suppose to be teachers and administrators also and it's not. PTA needs that balance. There needs to be leadership: we have all decided to do this/not that. Planning long term. Unfortunately, besides lack of time, I also feel that teachers but especially the administration don't mind that the parents fight about "fluff". They'd rather that than the curriculum or anything that would affect them in a serious way.

You need to understand- these pet projects you talk about have to be voted on by guess what - the PTA members (Parents, teachers, and students if PTSA). So be a member so you can vote.

FWIW, at our school this stuff is voted on by the board.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Former PTA president here. I was fine with the fact that PTA is not for everyone and not everyone wants to or can volunteer. But don't complain when people actually put time and effort into something if you aren't willing to put the same time in. Its that simple.

Current PTA President here, and yes, this...it's the complaining that you want more programs, activities, etc., but not putting in any time that is the challenge for the few of us who do volunteer our time in addition to parenting and working.

This. It's always the same 20% of parents volunteering. For 6 years of elementary. Most of us have jobs and busy lives as well.

[Anonymous]

I work full time and can't volunteer for anything. I'm so grateful for our PTA. They really make my kid's school a nice place.