18 yo son spent the night at a date's apartment

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is 18. He should not have a curfew. Him having sex with his girlfriend is totally normal. There should be no conflict.

The thing is this isn't his girlfriend this was a girl he met at a coffee shop and asked out, this is the first time he's spent any amount of time with her and I'm worried about what this means for his future romantic and sexual health

On what basis do you think you should be able to stop this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is 18. He should not have a curfew. Him having sex with his girlfriend is totally normal. There should be no conflict.

The thing is this isn't his girlfriend this was a girl he met at a coffee shop and asked out, this is the first time he's spent any amount of time with her and I'm worried about what this means for his future romantic and sexual health

You sure about that.

[Anonymous]

Some parents are do rigid about curfew that it leads to teens driving under influence and fast so they can make it home on time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They went out for dinner and I had asked him to text me if he thought he'd be later than 11, I got a text at 1145 saying he'd be out late and not to wait up and I got another one at 1 am say "I'll see you in the morning". He got home the next morning around 8 am, looking entirely to pleased with himself. I'm definitely not happy about this, he's had girlfriend's before so I don't think he's a Saint, but i think we're headed for some post graduation conflict

He's my oldest so I'm a bit out of my depth on what to do

I would be 100% fine with this. He's an adult. He wasn't doing anything dangerous. He let you know that he was going to be out until morning. He let you know where he was. He is going to college in a few months and he will do exactly as he pleases with his sex life in college.

Let it go. This isn't worth fighting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why's an 18 year old living at home dating a woman old enouh with an apartment?

He wasn’t DATING her lol lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He is an adult, OP.

.....STILL living at home. There are rules at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They went out for dinner and I had asked him to text me if he thought he'd be later than 11, I got a text at 1145 saying he'd be out late and not to wait up and I got another one at 1 am say "I'll see you in the morning". He got home the next morning around 8 am, looking entirely to pleased with himself. I'm definitely not happy about this, he's had girlfriend's before so I don't think he's a Saint, but i think we're headed for some post graduation conflict

He's my oldest so I'm a bit out of my depth on what to do

Who's the parent here? You're asking HIM when he will be home? Set some boundaries or curfews with him, unless he's paying you rent he can't come and go as he pleases just because he's 18.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Welcome to Soiling the Nest.

You’re in for a summer of him acting like a jackass. He will do everything to make you pissed off at him. You’ll put consequences and rules in place that will then piss him off. It will make the separation in August be easier because you’ll both be so sick of each other.

How is he getting to and from this girlfriend’s house? Your car?

Op here, he took the metro

Does he have a car? A license? A job? How is he an adult? Just because he turned 18? No.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is an adult, OP.

.....STILL living at home. There are rules at home.

Ditto. He’s not in college yet. He’s living at home. Rules apply. I’m so tired of parents throwing out- they are 18 what am I going to do? You are still the parent. We don’t need to make it easy for kids to have one night stands. That doesn’t mean we don’t think it’s happening but in an effort to keep kid safe, we seem to be disregarding parenting at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Make sure he knows that Roe has been struck down and that he needs to use a condom every single time.

THIS. Y'all need to teach your boys that they are also responsible for birth control. Pill + Condom EVERY SINGLE TIME.

Bc duh, make sure the girl is on it and signs

Signs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is an adult, OP.

.....STILL living at home. There are rules at home.

Ok. So what? So what age does that end? What if he’s a 23 year old living at home after college to save money? Does the same apply?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Welcome to Soiling the Nest.

You’re in for a summer of him acting like a jackass. He will do everything to make you pissed off at him. You’ll put consequences and rules in place that will then piss him off. It will make the separation in August be easier because you’ll both be so sick of each other.

How is he getting to and from this girlfriend’s house? Your car?

Op here, he took the metro

Does he have a car? A license? A job? How is he an adult? Just because he turned 18? No.

You don’t need a license or a car if you live in a dense neighborhood in a city.

[Anonymous]

I’m not seeing the problem.

[Anonymous]

I'm definitely not happy about this, he's had girlfriend's before so I don't think he's a Saint, but i think we're headed for some post graduation conflict

This is not making sense to many of us. Unless he's still in high school. Otherwise an adult, out of high school, does not need your permission to have sex ... or cuddle, or whatever they did. You don't know. You don't get to know. I also don't think you are entitled to know where he is. It's nice to know, but you're not entitled. If it's your car and you want to be a stickler re: your property, I guess you can. Signed~ a Mom and a GrandMom

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They went out for dinner and I had asked him to text me if he thought he'd be later than 11, I got a text at 1145 saying he'd be out late and not to wait up and I got another one at 1 am say "I'll see you in the morning". He got home the next morning around 8 am, looking entirely to pleased with himself. I'm definitely not happy about this, he's had girlfriend's before so I don't think he's a Saint, but i think we're headed for some post graduation conflict

He's my oldest so I'm a bit out of my depth on what to do

Does he think he can support a family?
Perhaps allow him to practice supporting just himself.