18 yo son spent the night at a date's apartment

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They went out for dinner and I had asked him to text me if he thought he'd be later than 11, I got a text at 1145 saying he'd be out late and not to wait up and I got another one at 1 am say "I'll see you in the morning". He got home the next morning around 8 am, looking entirely to pleased with himself. I'm definitely not happy about this, he's had girlfriend's before so I don't think he's a Saint, but i think we're headed for some post graduation conflict

He's my oldest so I'm a bit out of my depth on what to do

This sort of behavior by a child is entirely unacceptable!

How did you resolve it OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Adoption is a choice.

Adoption is trauma.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Welcome to Soiling the Nest.

You’re in for a summer of him acting like a jackass. He will do everything to make you pissed off at him. You’ll put consequences and rules in place that will then piss him off. It will make the separation in August be easier because you’ll both be so sick of each other.

How is he getting to and from this girlfriend’s house? Your car?

Op here, he took the metro

Hurrah for public transit.

Yes, better to trap kids at home instead & hold paying for car insurance and gas over their heads

[Anonymous]

Sound like a nice evening. Good for him!

[Anonymous]

For those of you arguing back & forth about abortion, once a male does the act, he has no say over whether the female chooses to abort. If she chooses not to, he will be paying CS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:he's 18 he can do what he wants.

And that's your advice?

No, have a talk with him?, No set home rules? No guidance? No parenting..... just let him do whatever he was? because he's now 18 years old.

You know the brain doesn't mature until mid twenties, right?

Sad there is no really parenting advise from so many here...

I'd suggest that he wrap it up and avoid drinking and drugs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:he's 18 he can do what he wants.

And that's your advice?

No, have a talk with him?, No set home rules? No guidance? No parenting..... just let him do whatever he was? because he's now 18 years old.

You know the brain doesn't mature until mid twenties, right?

Sad there is no really parenting advise from so many here...

Are you suggesting you oversee your adult child’s life until they are mid 20s? Because that’s the implication of your post.

That sounds miserable for all parties involved. Sex is a NATURAL and enjoyable aspect of being a human being. As long as both parties are over 18 and engage in safe sex, then MYOB.

Many 20 somethings live at home to save money, and you betcha they’re still going to want sex lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:he's 18 he can do what he wants.

And that's your advice?

No, have a talk with him?, No set home rules? No guidance? No parenting..... just let him do whatever he was? because he's now 18 years old.

You know the brain doesn't mature until mid twenties, right?

Sad there is no really parenting advise from so many here...

Yes let’s not join the military, marry, take out student loans, open a credit card or sign a lease until our mid 20s

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:he's 18 he can do what he wants.

And that's your advice?

No, have a talk with him?, No set home rules? No guidance? No parenting..... just let him do whatever he was? because he's now 18 years old.

You know the brain doesn't mature until mid twenties, right?


Well, technically until 30.
Sad there is no really parenting advise from so many here...

Yes let’s not join the military, marry, take out student loans, open a credit card or sign a lease until our mid 20s

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:he's 18 he can do what he wants.

And that's your advice?

No, have a talk with him?, No set home rules? No guidance? No parenting..... just let him do whatever he was? because he's now 18 years old.

You know the brain doesn't mature until mid twenties, right?

Sad there is no really parenting advise from so many here...

Yes let’s not join the military, marry, take out student loans, open a credit card or sign a lease until our mid 20s

Technically not until 30.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He is 18. He should not have a curfew. Him having sex with his girlfriend is totally normal. There should be no conflict.

My 18 year old has a curfew - otherwise I’m up worrying. He is considerate and lets me know when he’s on his way. I’m fully aware that he’ll have no curfew in college, and he can do whatever the F he wants there. But it’s okay for a graduating senior to have a curfew, geez.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is 18. He should not have a curfew. Him having sex with his girlfriend is totally normal. There should be no conflict.

My 18 year old has a curfew - otherwise I’m up worrying. He is considerate and lets me know when he’s on his way. I’m fully aware that he’ll have no curfew in college, and he can do whatever the F he wants there. But it’s okay for a graduating senior to have a curfew, geez.

Just to add, I’m fine with him having sex, as long as he’s careful.

[Anonymous]

"Thank you for updating me so I wouldn't worry about where you were."

A totally different time, like in the car:

"Hey, just wanted to touch base on casual hook-ups. I respect that you're legally an adult now and can make your own decisions. I'm concerned about..."

[Anonymous]

Am I terrible that this wouldn’t bother me? As long as I knew where he was and she was over 18. Probably better to say over instead of driving home tired/buzzed at 1am. If you haven’t already discussed condoms and gotten the HPV shot, good time to catch up. If this ends up being a real romance keep the lines of communication open about how that will work in college.

By the time I was 18 I would just stay out all night and come in when I wanted, and my parents would pretend not to know. TBH I was doing some risking things (driving with impaired people) so probably would have been good if my parents were direct about that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Thank you for updating me so I wouldn't worry about where you were."

A totally different time, like in the car:

"Hey, just wanted to touch base on casual hook-ups. I respect that you're legally an adult now and can make your own decisions. I'm concerned about..."

A lot of real relationships start on the first night! I wouldn’t assume. But yea, good opportunity to discuss consent.