Husband left two-year-old twins home alone

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have never made a single mistake (that was a true boneheaded error…not a willful doing wrong) than sure divorce.

(He should consider divorcing such an emotional teapot though)

I've made lots of mistakes as a parent, none have involved drowning or toddlers left alone in a house. Wtf kind of mistakes are YOU making?

I once drove home and realized I hadn't buckled my infant into her carseat. I have gotten distracted in a store and lost a toddler for a couple minutes in the aisles. I've left the gas stove on both lit an unlit for periods of time that were too lengthy. I've turned my back on a tub and had a child go under (for just a second but still). None of these are things I am proud of, they are things I learned from, but they also don't make me a horrible parent. Just a human being who is not error proof. And I'm the mom.

If I were a dad, I'd divorce you and seek full custody. Not okay. No exceptions. This is negligent. And I am a woman.

Well, you would never get full custody.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. this is not the first time. When eldest was six months old he left the then infant alone in the baby bathtub because I had just been in the bathroom and he thought I was paying attention to what he was doing. I wasn't. I walked in to find baby fully submerged. Grabbed her and spent the next 24 hours watching her every move to make sure she was okay. She was fine but I almost left him then.

Wait, this happened before and you didn’t communicate to your partner that you were leaving the house to pick up another child when there were other children in the house? Just as much your fault as his. Your reaction is absolutely uncalled for and you both need therapy to address communication.

+1 not his fault, this is on you op. Never ever leave a home with children in it without talking to another adult first.

But it IS his fault. The OP was already gone, and DH left the house while she was out. SO DH should have been the one to check in with the other parent before he went out, according to your logic.

OP left first without communicating this knowing that other children were in the house, it’s her fault not his

You are completely wrong.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't jump to divorce but I do think that you need to get him some help or maybe attend joint counseling to make sure this kind of thing doesn't keep happening. It does sound to me like he has some sort of ADD issue so medication might help.

My husband has not done anything this serious but honestly, I could see something like that happening. We did have a similar incident at a waterpark where he thought I was watching my son when I was nowhere near where they were and just walked away. Luckily it was a small park so I knew exactly where DS was, just wasn't watching him (I think I was in the bathroom). He's so absent-minded--constantly leaving the doors unlocked, car door wide open (all night), wallet in plain view in the car, stuff like that. And he is so trusting--he refuses to believe that bad things can happen. As much as I appreciate his positivity, sometimes you have to assume the worst to avoid/prepare for it.

I get your frustration OP as people like that can be hard to deal with and it's hard to fully trust him when he has shown you that he is irresponsible. But I do think you can work on it, you just have to force the issue.

[Anonymous]

Remember, if you divorce him he no longer has to act in your best interest, the kids' best interest, or even his own best interest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. this is not the first time. When eldest was six months old he left the then infant alone in the baby bathtub because I had just been in the bathroom and he thought I was paying attention to what he was doing. I wasn't. I walked in to find baby fully submerged. Grabbed her and spent the next 24 hours watching her every move to make sure she was okay. She was fine but I almost left him then.

Wait, this happened before and you didn’t communicate to your partner that you were leaving the house to pick up another child when there were other children in the house? Just as much your fault as his. Your reaction is absolutely uncalled for and you both need therapy to address communication.

+1 not his fault, this is on you op. Never ever leave a home with children in it without talking to another adult first.

+1 I agree with this and other pp- you left first, you messed up.

[Anonymous]

I think your husband has issues. Getting mad won't solve it. People like this have consistent problems year after year. They can't be responsible for someone else. It's just not in their DNA. Treat him the same way you'd treat an uncle who rarely sees the kids in terms of responsibility. Don't give him any with the kids. He can be in charge of non-people things instead.

[Anonymous]

Delete this post, OP. Because CPS. I’m serious. Ask Jeff to delete in website feedback.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. this is not the first time. When eldest was six months old he left the then infant alone in the baby bathtub because I had just been in the bathroom and he thought I was paying attention to what he was doing. I wasn't. I walked in to find baby fully submerged. Grabbed her and spent the next 24 hours watching her every move to make sure she was okay. She was fine but I almost left him then.

That doesn’t make sense.

And your propensity to catastrophize and go straight to “I’m leaving you” is a serious character flaw. Both of these are miscommunications and you bear some responsibility in them. But if it’s easier for you to fly into a rage and blast your husband, that isn’t fixing the problem — that’s fixing the blame. And it won’t actually fix anything.

Nice way to deflect that he almost drowned the kid. Johnny Depp, is that you?

??? Amber Heard is a deranged victimizer. Reminds me of OP.

Btw a jury ageees with me on that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. this is not the first time. When eldest was six months old he left the then infant alone in the baby bathtub because I had just been in the bathroom and he thought I was paying attention to what he was doing. I wasn't. I walked in to find baby fully submerged. Grabbed her and spent the next 24 hours watching her every move to make sure she was okay. She was fine but I almost left him then.

That doesn’t make sense.

And your propensity to catastrophize and go straight to “I’m leaving you” is a serious character flaw. Both of these are miscommunications and you bear some responsibility in them. But if it’s easier for you to fly into a rage and blast your husband, that isn’t fixing the problem — that’s fixing the blame. And it won’t actually fix anything.

Nice way to deflect that he almost drowned the kid. Johnny Depp, is that you?

DP. And I agree with PP (and hate JD for whatever that is worth). Two absentminded incidents for someone with children under 5 is not a reason to divorce, unless the husband is constantly doing stuff like this and not seeing it as a problem. Flying into a rage and threatening divorce is, IMO, something that should never be done. Ever, unless perhaps you have literally walked in on them cheating on you or something.

Almost drowning your infant and leaving two toddlers alone in the house aren't minor incidents. I would seriously consider divorce but I wouldn't want my kids with him half the time. There's something wrong with this man.

Considering how incredibly insane OP sounds, she isn’t a reliable narrator. I don’t buy the bathtub story for many reasons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I'm sorry. I get your rage and the near drowning incident would have me on edge too. The prudent thing to do right now is to get to the bottom of why your H is being so neglectful/poor communicator. work with a marriage counselor. Come up with better ways to ensure your kids' safety.

Until she acknowledges she is part of the problem, this isn’t getting fixed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. this is not the first time. When eldest was six months old he left the then infant alone in the baby bathtub because I had just been in the bathroom and he thought I was paying attention to what he was doing. I wasn't. I walked in to find baby fully submerged. Grabbed her and spent the next 24 hours watching her every move to make sure she was okay. She was fine but I almost left him then.

That doesn’t make sense.

And your propensity to catastrophize and go straight to “I’m leaving you” is a serious character flaw. Both of these are miscommunications and you bear some responsibility in them. But if it’s easier for you to fly into a rage and blast your husband, that isn’t fixing the problem — that’s fixing the blame. And it won’t actually fix anything.

Nice way to deflect that he almost drowned the kid. Johnny Depp, is that you?

??? Amber Heard is a deranged victimizer. Reminds me of OP.

Btw a jury ageees with me on that.

Only in the US. in the UK he was found guilty of 12 counts of abuse.

[Anonymous]

You’re a horrible wife blaming your husband for your mistakes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:IMO, you're overreacting. The kids were not harmed. He made a mistake thinking you were in the house. If it happens again, then I would get upset.

Even if she was in the house why would you leave two 2-year-olds roaming around alone without checking with the person behind a locked door?

This. He knowingly left them unsupervised, because a parent in another room with the door closed is not supervision. It would be different with 5 year old, but toddlers? Good grief.

I also agree that it's a little odd that neither OP nor her husband typically let the other know when going out the door. It seems like a lack of courtesy or teamwork or closeness or something, to not just yell out, "I'm leaving!" when heading out the door.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have never made a single mistake (that was a true boneheaded error…not a willful doing wrong) than sure divorce.

(He should consider divorcing such an emotional teapot though)

I've made lots of mistakes as a parent, none have involved drowning or toddlers left alone in a house. Wtf kind of mistakes are YOU making?

I once drove home and realized I hadn't buckled my infant into her carseat. I have gotten distracted in a store and lost a toddler for a couple minutes in the aisles. I've left the gas stove on both lit an unlit for periods of time that were too lengthy. I've turned my back on a tub and had a child go under (for just a second but still). None of these are things I am proud of, they are things I learned from, but they also don't make me a horrible parent. Just a human being who is not error proof. And I'm the mom.

If I were a dad, I'd divorce you and seek full custody. Not okay. No exceptions. This is negligent. And I am a woman.

Dumb. No judge anywhere would ever grant that. Because judges aren’t insane like Op.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. this is not the first time. When eldest was six months old he left the then infant alone in the baby bathtub because I had just been in the bathroom and he thought I was paying attention to what he was doing. I wasn't. I walked in to find baby fully submerged. Grabbed her and spent the next 24 hours watching her every move to make sure she was okay. She was fine but I almost left him then.

That doesn’t make sense.

And your propensity to catastrophize and go straight to “I’m leaving you” is a serious character flaw. Both of these are miscommunications and you bear some responsibility in them. But if it’s easier for you to fly into a rage and blast your husband, that isn’t fixing the problem — that’s fixing the blame. And it won’t actually fix anything.

Nice way to deflect that he almost drowned the kid. Johnny Depp, is that you?

??? Amber Heard is a deranged victimizer. Reminds me of OP.

Btw a jury ageees with me on that.

Only in the US. in the UK he was found guilty of 12 counts of abuse.

Uh, no. He wasn’t. He wasn’t on trial. These were defamation suits.

Everyone agrees Amber Heard is a manipulative, lying liar who lies. This isn’t even opinion but a matter of established fact.