Husband left two-year-old twins home alone

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you and your husband not normally communicate at all? Wouldn’t you have said goodbye when you left to go pick up the preschooler? And wouldn’t he when he left to go wherever? I don’t see how this happened at all. Your marriage is bizarre.

You are making ridiculous assumptions based on your own situation. This does not help OP at all and no, you don't know that her marriage is "bizarre."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not overreacting, but take it as a lesson to always confirm handoff. DH and I use the air traffic control approach—one person hands off responsibility for the kids and waits to leave until the other person confirms/accepts responsibility. It’s not enough to call out “I’m leaving!” and assume the other person heard.

Yep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you and your husband not normally communicate at all? Wouldn’t you have said goodbye when you left to go pick up the preschooler? And wouldn’t he when he left to go wherever? I don’t see how this happened at all. Your marriage is bizarre.

You are making ridiculous assumptions based on your own situation. This does not help OP at all and no, you don't know that her marriage is "bizarre."

Um what assumptions did I make exactly?

[Anonymous]

Have you two spoken about it yet? How did he react? Has anything like this ever happened before? Need more info...

[Anonymous]

Yes, you are overreacting. Were they harmed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you and your husband not normally communicate at all? Wouldn’t you have said goodbye when you left to go pick up the preschooler? And wouldn’t he when he left to go wherever? I don’t see how this happened at all. Your marriage is bizarre.

You are making ridiculous assumptions based on your own situation. This does not help OP at all and no, you don't know that her marriage is "bizarre."

Um what assumptions did I make exactly?

That everyone else says "hello" and "goodbye" before leaving or returning to the house, just because you apparently do?

[Anonymous]

You need to be livid so he takes this seriously band doesn't do it again. Everyone makes mistakes.

[Anonymous]

This is a reason to stay married. Most divorces are 50/50 custody. I would not feel comfortable leaving my kids alone with him. Stay married.

It might have been a one-time mistake.

I solved this problem by not ever letting him be alone with my kids until much older. He was not capable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Once I left my 2-yr-old nephew taking a nap in my guest room while I ran to 7-11 with my kids. I had recently started watching him and forgot he was there. His dad, my BIL, came to pick him up while I was gone. I got home and my nephew had disappeared.

I freaked out at my stupid mistake, called my sister at work and she told me what happened. Her H was pretty livid, rightly so. She was more forgiving.

I continued taking care of him and other kids too and never made a mistake like that again. I'm very very thankful they didn't freak out more and come down hard on me. It was a one off.

I'm also very thankful nothing horrible happened to him while I was gone and also that he didn't even just wake up and wander around crying.

Why didn't her husband hang around until you got back, to talk to you about this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you two spoken about it yet? How did he react? Has anything like this ever happened before? Need more info...

Yes. I once lost my preschooler in the wilderness for an hour. I screwed up, I knew I screwed up, my wife knew I screwed up, etc. Was she angry? Of course. Did she consider divorce? Of course not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Once I left my 2-yr-old nephew taking a nap in my guest room while I ran to 7-11 with my kids. I had recently started watching him and forgot he was there. His dad, my BIL, came to pick him up while I was gone. I got home and my nephew had disappeared.

I freaked out at my stupid mistake, called my sister at work and she told me what happened. Her H was pretty livid, rightly so. She was more forgiving.

I continued taking care of him and other kids too and never made a mistake like that again. I'm very very thankful they didn't freak out more and come down hard on me. It was a one off.

I'm also very thankful nothing horrible happened to him while I was gone and also that he didn't even just wake up and wander around crying.

Why didn't her husband hang around until you got back, to talk to you about this?

because he wanted to scare the crap out of her

[Anonymous]

OP here. this is not the first time. When eldest was six months old he left the then infant alone in the baby bathtub because I had just been in the bathroom and he thought I was paying attention to what he was doing. I wasn't. I walked in to find baby fully submerged. Grabbed her and spent the next 24 hours watching her every move to make sure she was okay. She was fine but I almost left him then.

[Anonymous]

So he left without mentioning that to you, when he supposedly thought you were in another room with the door closed? I can't believe that. A heads up would be needed so you could watch the kids.

What was SO important that he was willing to risk their lives to go do?

[Anonymous]

You’re not overreacting. I’d be furious. If he can’t be trusted at home, what happens when he has them in the car on a hot day and forgets they’re with him?

Unfortunately if you divorce he gets 50% custody. I’d put the fear of god in him. Really grill him for exactly why this happened and why he was so distracted he didn’t think to check if you were home, why he wouldn’t have told you he was leaving if you were home, etc. Like this is exactly the kind of thing that would make me reduce my H down to a sobbing mess to make sure it never happens again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you and your husband not normally communicate at all? Wouldn’t you have said goodbye when you left to go pick up the preschooler? And wouldn’t he when he left to go wherever? I don’t see how this happened at all. Your marriage is bizarre.

You are making ridiculous assumptions based on your own situation. This does not help OP at all and no, you don't know that her marriage is "bizarre."

Um what assumptions did I make exactly?

That everyone else says "hello" and "goodbye" before leaving or returning to the house, just because you apparently do?

NP. I do too. It would be odd for either of us to just leave without communication. Even if I was in the bedroom, my spouse wouldn't just leave 2 years olds alone unsupervised. He'd wait until I was present.