Husband left two-year-old twins home alone

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is an obvious troll and I am shocked people are taking it seriously.

Bless your heart you don’t know any self absorbed incapable parents endangering their kids on a recurring basis.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I ended my marriage for many reasons other than failure to parent (similar to what OP describes). But the failure to parent part was a big component of that. For safety reasons, I was forced to do all parenting. I never wanted a relationship like that - I always assumed there would be equally shared parenting. But you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink. I never wanted to model for the kids that the woman does all the parenting and staying in the marriage would have taught them that was OK. It’s not. If I wanted I third child, I would have conceived one; I don’t need a man-child to take care of in addition to two actual children.

Re: the bold, asking seriously, PP -- did he get partial custody or visitation rights, or--? And was it a situation where his having the kids solo was a potential danger to them? As some PPs here are noting, it's extremely difficult to make a successful case for 100 percent physical custody, and some moms here are noting that if they divorce, their kids will end up at times alone with fathers who are potentially dangerous to the kids, so the women stay married at least until the children are old enough to understand and react to danger, not have random accidents, etc. What was your situation and how old were your kids when you divorced? Because that's not an option for some mothers, if the fathers are oblivious. Divorcing and putting him in charge solo at times doesn't always teach the ex that he now must step up and oversee his own kids' safety. It's horrible situation to be in, staying in a marriage just becuase one fears for the kids' safety when with their other parent.

FWIW both of OP’s examples of her husband’s neglect were “caused” (so to speak) by the fact that he assumed she was providing backup but she really wasn’t. In a shared-custody situation, he would always know that he was watching the kids alone with no backup, so there would never be any confusion about that. Given this change in the dynamic, I’ll bet these incidents would stop.

OK, cool. Gamble with the kids’ safety for half of their entire childhoods because you “bet” he would change.

The kids will likely be fine. That’s the problem. Women like OP love to share about bad things that ALMOST happened. Nothing happened to the children in this situation. They were fine and are fine. If you have anxiety, it’s hard to accept this.

It’s also hard to accept that if you’re truly married to a man who is too dangerous to watch children on his own, then he is too dangerous to live with you.

Exactly! The guy is fine 94% of the time. So what if he endangers lives only 6% of the time. It’ll probably work out all right.

And if it doesn't, everyone will blame his wife anyway, and he'll just find some dumb young thing to knock up and start over. It's all good, man.

The worst part is the loser passes in his genes and makes a whole lineage of losers.’