Broke off an affair. Going through depression

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well all this criticism is warranted. Im sulking about a ton of stuff and it is mostly the AP and beating myself up for getting caught. I wasn’t thinking straight. She told me to never text between certain times and I did.
I understand that my wife should be the one that deserves the sympathy and I’m sure that will come once the heartbreak ceases. For now I have regrets of getting caught. We did talk extensively yesterday and she’s disappointed and sad and I couldn’t do much to help her since I’m in a rut.
She even realized that my sorrow has to do with AP. She’s a divorce lawyer as well and this isn’t uncommon for her. She said is going to go through the process of getting our affairs in order to see where I am in 3-6 months.
I just can’t see myself not with the AP but she has a kid and I don’t and therefore is more reliant on her husband.

You sound like you really don’t want to be in your marriage anymore OP. I think that’s why you started this thing with your AP. You sound like you’ve really fallen for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well all this criticism is warranted. Im sulking about a ton of stuff and it is mostly the AP and beating myself up for getting caught. I wasn’t thinking straight. She told me to never text between certain times and I did.
I understand that my wife should be the one that deserves the sympathy and I’m sure that will come once the heartbreak ceases. For now I have regrets of getting caught. We did talk extensively yesterday and she’s disappointed and sad and I couldn’t do much to help her since I’m in a rut.
She even realized that my sorrow has to do with AP. She’s a divorce lawyer as well and this isn’t uncommon for her. She said is going to go through the process of getting our affairs in order to see where I am in 3-6 months.
I just can’t see myself not with the AP but she has a kid and I don’t and therefore is more reliant on her husband.

You haven't even had sex with this AP you claim? You might not even be sexually compatible..ha. You haven't lived with her. You haven't experienced reality with her. You are in such a crazy fantasy world. You are fixated and living in an alternate universe.

I wish your wife the best. Your wife is divorce attorney. I'm so happy for her. She will know exactly what to do.

[Anonymous]

My god you sound unbelievably immature. Usually don’t advocate divorce but you deserve to have your wife file.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My god you sound unbelievably immature. Usually don’t advocate divorce but you deserve to have your wife file.

Yes. He sounds so over the top ridiculous, I assume it's a troll post. But, if it's true --he wife is a divorce attorney . That made me think this is even more likely to be a troll.

[Anonymous]

Lack of closure I think is a big issue. You go from hearing from someone daily and getting your little ego boosts to full silence.
I give him a month and he’ll be back on it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, no cheater is going to win any character awards, but you are really low - your AP was a friend’s wife, and when caught all you moan about is YOUR feelings? You seriously destroyed another marriage (even if it survives) and your own wife, and express zero remorse for your friend, your own wife or any of your sh!tty decisions and actions? Even your AP seemed to immediately snap back to reality when caught. You REALLY need therapy and to find empathy and remorse.

FFS he didn’t destroy anything they didn’t even have sex. This is all so immature.

I’m guessing you are a guy? This isn’t how women see it.

I’m a woman actually. Of course it’s a problem, but if there was no physical relationship the issue is a much less bigger deal. He is immature and a loser but this need not destroy both marriages.

+1. I am a woman and I agree. This is silly to get this worked up over. If it destroys either of these marriages, the marriages were weak/bad to begin with and should probably end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you need to wake up here. Your AP is not leaving for you. You are very close to losing your wife. You are well on the way to ending up empty-handed. Can you get your head out of your ass enough to recognize this and decide to commit to your marriage before you lose it all? Bc you might. You are on probation and your wife also has agency to decide on her own what to do next.

If he does not have kids, he should get a divorce immediately.

OP: you were not smart to text her phone directly. Very, very stupid.

[Anonymous]

What is a lawyer doing with a loser like you? I hope she divorces you immediately. Sitting around moping over a stupid crush instead of being incredibly remorseful is all the ammo she needs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well all this criticism is warranted. Im sulking about a ton of stuff and it is mostly the AP and beating myself up for getting caught. I wasn’t thinking straight. She told me to never text between certain times and I did.
I understand that my wife should be the one that deserves the sympathy and I’m sure that will come once the heartbreak ceases. For now I have regrets of getting caught. We did talk extensively yesterday and she’s disappointed and sad and I couldn’t do much to help her since I’m in a rut.
She even realized that my sorrow has to do with AP. She’s a divorce lawyer as well and this isn’t uncommon for her. She said is going to go through the process of getting our affairs in order to see where I am in 3-6 months.
I just can’t see myself not with the AP but she has a kid and I don’t and therefore is more reliant on her husband.

Dude AP told you its over. It's over. That door is closed don't be a stalker. You can blow your marriage and kids life up if you want to but leave AP the hell alone!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My god you sound unbelievably immature. Usually don’t advocate divorce but you deserve to have your wife file.

Yes. He sounds so over the top ridiculous, I assume it's a troll post. But, if it's true --he wife is a divorce attorney . That made me think this is even more likely to be a troll.

Definitely a troll.the last post sealed the deal.

[Anonymous]

1. I am firmly on Team OP.
2. What did OP's wife do to drive him into the arms of another woman?
3. Why should OP feel remorse given #2?

[Anonymous]

I’m not a troll. I understand my priorities are messed up. This is how I feel. I miss her and it’s painful. The last text I get before being blocked is that just can’t do the secrecy anymore.
I’m sure she’s in pain as well. Maybe the fog around the affair went up in thin air and she’s grounded again.
I read up enough about this to know this is a real feeling that people experience. May be wrong but a sudden cut in communication is not easy to deal with

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m not a troll. I understand my priorities are messed up. This is how I feel. I miss her and it’s painful. The last text I get before being blocked is that just can’t do the secrecy anymore.
I’m sure she’s in pain as well. Maybe the fog around the affair went up in thin air and she’s grounded again.
I read up enough about this to know this is a real feeling that people experience. May be wrong but a sudden cut in communication is not easy to deal with

So what do you want? In your ideal world, what were you hoping would happen?

[Anonymous]

You sound like such a sop. What a mopey loser. Glad she came to her senses and cut contact. Now I hope your wife divorces and finds a real man.

[Anonymous]

You sound beyond pathetic and insufferable. Zero sympathy for the fact that you are suffering due to your own crappy behavior and decisions. Grow up. learn boundaries and be better. Apologize profusely to your DW for hurting her and fix yourself in penance. Your AP wants nothing to do with you - she knew your whole "relationship" was only an escape and ego-stroking and knows that her DH is 10x the guy you are, so leave her (and her poor DH) alone.