Middle School Culture Shock

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP, if that happened to you/your family, I'm sorry. Obviously this kind of thing is deeply problematic in many ways. But it's not what this thread is about.

What? Not the PP, but that is exactly what this thread about. MS student behavior at school.

No, it's not. It's also not about school shootings, which is a behavior some students engage in, in middle school.

[Anonymous]

Your kid is doing the same thing all our kids do. Th[e]y will survive too.

But will they? My family has a history of serious addiction. So does my husband's. I talk openly with our kids about this. It is absolutely not okay for them to try painkillers, pot, alcohol, or other drugs in middle school (or really ever). I don't drink, period. That is the behavior I model for my kids and I am very honest about why.

And I understand the need to acknowledge reality. But is this really what we want for our kids? Open access to violent, explicit content that warps their view of what a physical relationship is supposed to be? Exposure to their peers' behavior that carries with it the expectation that they also will perform on camera? I mean, are you all seriously okay if your kids are the ones being filmed?

None of this is a moral good. I am progressive and not particularly religious, but we have created a truly messed up society for our kids if this is what we tolerate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Your kid is doing the same thing all our kids do. Th[e]y will survive too.

But will they? My family has a history of serious addiction. So does my husband's. I talk openly with our kids about this. It is absolutely not okay for them to try painkillers, pot, alcohol, or other drugs in middle school (or really ever). I don't drink, period. That is the behavior I model for my kids and I am very honest about why.

And I understand the need to acknowledge reality. But is this really what we want for our kids? Open access to violent, explicit content that warps their view of what a physical relationship is supposed to be? Exposure to their peers' behavior that carries with it the expectation that they also will perform on camera? I mean, are you all seriously okay if your kids are the ones being filmed?

None of this is a moral good. I am progressive and not particularly religious, but we have created a truly messed up society for our kids if this is what we tolerate.

+10000 Nicely said. We do this too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Your kid is doing the same thing all our kids do. Th[e]y will survive too.

But will they? My family has a history of serious addiction. So does my husband's. I talk openly with our kids about this. It is absolutely not okay for them to try painkillers, pot, alcohol, or other drugs in middle school (or really ever). I don't drink, period. That is the behavior I model for my kids and I am very honest about why.

And I understand the need to acknowledge reality. But is this really what we want for our kids? Open access to violent, explicit content that warps their view of what a physical relationship is supposed to be? Exposure to their peers' behavior that carries with it the expectation that they also will perform on camera? I mean, are you all seriously okay if your kids are the ones being filmed?

None of this is a moral good. I am progressive and not particularly religious, but we have created a truly messed up society for our kids if this is what we tolerate.

The OP is about

1. swearing
2. "skimpy" clothing on girls

The OP is not about middle-schoolers filming each other committing violent sex acts. Start your own thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Newsflash

Your kid is doing the same thing all our kids do. Thy will survive too.

Most kids will survive, not all and why would you set your child up to fail. I don't get why people like you have kids when you refuse to parent them.

[Anonymous]

So thankful my kids do distance learning/homeschool. They spend time with kids who still act like kids and there's none of these issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow this is terrifying to me. Especially how blasé some parents are about porn. It’s absolutely nothing like a magazine.

If your child is on one of these videos, it can go viral and have many life long consequences.

[Anonymous]

The OP is not about middle-schoolers filming each other committing violent sex acts. Start your own thread.

If you read the entire thread, you would know that several posters told OP that the behavior she had heard about was tame compared to other schools, including kids filming each other at school and passing around the videos. So, yeah, this post is relevant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So thankful my kids do distance learning/homeschool. They spend time with kids who still act like kids and there's none of these issues.

Questioning authority and adopting adult behaviors actually is acting like kids, though - for kids who are in middle school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I HATE that some of the girls wear such skimpy clothing. Super short shorts and crop tops. I don't let my DD out of the house wearing that kind of thing, BUT, I can't control what she does when she leaves the house. I know she rolls up her shorts and ties up her shirt when she leaves the house. I'm not happy about it, but I can't stop it.

My older DS (now in HS) told me that a lot of girls dress that way in MS, and that the way DD dresses is not out of the ordinary and is also much more tame than some of the other girls in MS. I hate it. I do wish they wore uniforms. It would be so much easier, but when I think back to when I was in MS, I would've hated uniforms, so I don't blame kids who don't want strict uniforms. I just wish they didn't dress like that.

Wouldn't it be great if society, collectively, spent less time condemning the clothing choices of girls and young women? Just imagine what we could do with the mental energy that would free up.

I think there's one poster on this board who gets off talking about teens and their skimpy clothing. We had one on youbemom back in the day. Possibly the same guy. It's sick and it's sad and those of us with daughters need to teach them that men like this and their opinions do not matter.

I'm the first PP, and a mom.

I would love if I didn't have to worry about perverts and creeps, but we don't live in that utopia.

But, why do you think it's appropriate for a 12 yr old to wear super short shorts such that the curve of their butt is visible? I mean, why not just let her wear her underwear to school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I'm the first PP, and a mom.

I would love if I didn't have to worry about perverts and creeps, but we don't live in that utopia.

But, why do you think it's appropriate for a 12 yr old to wear super short shorts such that the curve of their butt is visible? I mean, why not just let her wear her underwear to school.

If it were my kid's clothing choices, I would say, "Don't wear those shorts, your rear end will stick to the chair."

If it's not my kid's clothing choices, I don't care. Why do you care about the clothing choices of kids who aren't your kid?

[Anonymous]

The clothing is not a big deal. The kids behavior is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Your kid is doing the same thing all our kids do. Th[e]y will survive too.

But will they? My family has a history of serious addiction. So does my husband's. I talk openly with our kids about this. It is absolutely not okay for them to try painkillers, pot, alcohol, or other drugs in middle school (or really ever). I don't drink, period. That is the behavior I model for my kids and I am very honest about why.

And I understand the need to acknowledge reality. But is this really what we want for our kids? Open access to violent, explicit content that warps their view of what a physical relationship is supposed to be? Exposure to their peers' behavior that carries with it the expectation that they also will perform on camera? I mean, are you all seriously okay if your kids are the ones being filmed?

None of this is a moral good. I am progressive and not particularly religious, but we have created a truly messed up society for our kids if this is what we tolerate.

The point is that lots of parents are educating their kids on what they should and shouldn’t do. That however doesn’t mean that a kid is always going to listen and act accordingly. MS is a time of pushing boundaries and exploring new things. And kids have always thought themselves invincible. More importantly our society has for a long time tried to prevent kids from doing things by trying to “keep them innocent” (ie ignorant) instead of talking to them about the real world and the realities that they will face there. Thus you have threads titled MS culture shock where obviously some folks are surprised by cursing and attire whereas others are like buckle up because that’s nothing compared to everything that’s going to start coming at you with MS and HS following.

ES is a long time and some parents get comfortable there. In MS time flies, kids enter puberty and start engaging in a more independent existence. They will naturally encounter more advance topics and information as the folks they are interacting with are more advance, also testing boundaries, and exploring the world.

Noone has said they are okay with their kids being filmed. What they’re saying is, things happen and we deal with them and move on. Or we try to proactively educate our kids about things so that they are prepared to deal with life as it comes. That’s it. For every parent shocked about this things, there is a same parent or another parent giving their kid a phone which is essentially access to it all. For all of us who have talks with our kids anout sex, drugs, alcohol, life, there are dozens of parents who have not had these same conversations with their child. Combine all this and things and some are going to be shocked by the results whereas some of us are like yea we saw that coming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I HATE that some of the girls wear such skimpy clothing. Super short shorts and crop tops. I don't let my DD out of the house wearing that kind of thing, BUT, I can't control what she does when she leaves the house. I know she rolls up her shorts and ties up her shirt when she leaves the house. I'm not happy about it, but I can't stop it.

My older DS (now in HS) told me that a lot of girls dress that way in MS, and that the way DD dresses is not out of the ordinary and is also much more tame than some of the other girls in MS. I hate it. I do wish they wore uniforms. It would be so much easier, but when I think back to when I was in MS, I would've hated uniforms, so I don't blame kids who don't want strict uniforms. I just wish they didn't dress like that.

Wouldn't it be great if society, collectively, spent less time condemning the clothing choices of girls and young women? Just imagine what we could do with the mental energy that would free up.

Wouldn't it be great for society if people like you would teach girls that their worth comes from their mind and character and not from their booty?

What a girl wears on her own time should be her choice. What she wears in a government funded site for learning should reflect her task, which is to improve her mind. Professionalism, please. It won't hurt to teach it earlier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I HATE that some of the girls wear such skimpy clothing. Super short shorts and crop tops. I don't let my DD out of the house wearing that kind of thing, BUT, I can't control what she does when she leaves the house. I know she rolls up her shorts and ties up her shirt when she leaves the house. I'm not happy about it, but I can't stop it.

My older DS (now in HS) told me that a lot of girls dress that way in MS, and that the way DD dresses is not out of the ordinary and is also much more tame than some of the other girls in MS. I hate it. I do wish they wore uniforms. It would be so much easier, but when I think back to when I was in MS, I would've hated uniforms, so I don't blame kids who don't want strict uniforms. I just wish they didn't dress like that.

Wouldn't it be great if society, collectively, spent less time condemning the clothing choices of girls and young women? Just imagine what we could do with the mental energy that would free up.

Wouldn't it be great for society if people like you would teach girls that their worth comes from their mind and character and not from their booty?

What a girl wears on her own time should be her choice. What she wears in a government funded site for learning should reflect her task, which is to improve her mind. Professionalism, please. It won't hurt to teach it earlier.

I do. And you know what really helps with that? When people don't obsess about the clothing choices of girls and young women. Please focus on their mind and character, not their clothing choices. Thank you.