Middle School Culture Shock

[Anonymous]

As long as the kids go to school to learn and treat each other respectfully, and stay away from addictive and harmful substances, all the other stuff doesn't bother me that much.

I do think it's sad about the girls and the skimpy clothes but that's their choice. Just hope they aren't trying to imitate the questionable ideas of 'beauty' from social/media because that is not good for their self-esteem.

[Anonymous]

Maybe the girls are wearing skimpy clothes because of the obsession with porn that seems prevalent nowadays. The best thing we can do for our girls is address this issue and not just say it is okay or a rite of passage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I remember the exact same behavior in the 80s when I was in middle school and I attended a private school.

Rich kids behaving poorly.

Not like the public school kids. Not even close. They may be rich but private schools have discipline and standards.

Hahaha!

-private school grad

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe the girls are wearing skimpy clothes because of the obsession with porn that seems prevalent nowadays. The best thing we can do for our girls is address this issue and not just say it is okay or a rite of passage.

It is entirely up to you how you want to address porn or fashion or whatever else you want with your girl(s).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So thankful my kids do distance learning/homeschool. They spend time with kids who still act like kids and there's none of these issues.

Questioning authority and adopting adult behaviors actually is acting like kids, though - for kids who are in middle school.

Agreed and eventually kids are exposed to porn / drugs / swearing / skimpy clothes (not necessarily in that order). How will they handle that? Know several young people who got their taste of freedom and went off the deep end. If you think that only “bad, unloved, public school” kids become drug addicts and find themselves in very unhappy relationships think again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Your kid is doing the same thing all our kids do. Th[e]y will survive too.

But will they? My family has a history of serious addiction. So does my husband's. I talk openly with our kids about this. It is absolutely not okay for them to try painkillers, pot, alcohol, or other drugs in middle school (or really ever). I don't drink, period. That is the behavior I model for my kids and I am very honest about why.

And I understand the need to acknowledge reality. But is this really what we want for our kids? Open access to violent, explicit content that warps their view of what a physical relationship is supposed to be? Exposure to their peers' behavior that carries with it the expectation that they also will perform on camera? I mean, are you all seriously okay if your kids are the ones being filmed?

None of this is a moral good. I am progressive and not particularly religious, but we have created a truly messed up society for our kids if this is what we tolerate.

+10000 Nicely said. We do this too.

Agreed.

Except that we do drink and are trying to push the idea of drinking ‘responsibly’. Also not religious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The bus language was very bad. 6th graders on the bus with 8th graders who had been raised by youtube influencers. I talked with the school administration and they said the bus drivers were supposed to police this. Ha!

You tube has nothing to do with it. In fact, videos on YouTube that have cursing are demoted. We cursed like sailors in middle school 30 years ago.

Cursing is the first formal rejection of doing g everything adults tell you to do so.ply because they said so. It's a good thing. They're becoming independent. They will grow out of it. Stop clutching pearls over words.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow this is terrifying to me. Especially how blasé some parents are about porn. It’s absolutely nothing like a magazine.

How do you know, pp? Have you been watching pornos?!?! Call the pope!

[Anonymous]

Expecting the bus driver to enforce behavior standards is not realistic. It's one adult who's supposed to be focused on operating a large motor vehicle so it doesn't crash, versus 50 kids with nothing to do. The driver has to drive the bus. They need to be looking through the windshield, not in the rearview mirror. What are they supposed to do, pull over in the middle of the street and block traffic or risk somebody plowing into them and injuring everybody? Buses have always been chaotic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Strangely, so far so good. I have a 6th grader but in another district. They have tracks for math. My theory is that if you are on a higher track, you get into a cohort with other nerdy kids who are in other classes with you as well.
It’s a very ordinary middle school, 30% farms/esl.

Correct. However your child can still be exposed in the bus or during other classes.

My son at North Bethesda MS a few years ago wasn’t exposed to the horrors other posters describe. He was in with a nerdy crowd, and was driven to school.

It’s probably possible, yes. No bus for my kid. I think other classes align with the math ones to a large degree so he doesn’t have that many disruptive kids there. But of course anything can happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Strangely, so far so good. I have a 6th grader but in another district. They have tracks for math. My theory is that if you are on a higher track, you get into a cohort with other nerdy kids who are in other classes with you as well.
It’s a very ordinary middle school, 30% farms/esl.

Correct. However your child can still be exposed in the bus or during other classes.

My son at North Bethesda MS a few years ago wasn’t exposed to the horrors other posters describe. He was in with a nerdy crowd, and was driven to school.

It’s probably possible, yes. No bus for my kid. I think other classes align with the math ones to a large degree so he doesn’t have that many disruptive kids there. But of course anything can happen.

My son is in above grade level math (2 years advanced) and there are still two disruptive boys in his pre-calculus class. My guess is that they were like this in MS as well and didn’t just start acting up in 10th grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Strangely, so far so good. I have a 6th grader but in another district. They have tracks for math. My theory is that if you are on a higher track, you get into a cohort with other nerdy kids who are in other classes with you as well.
It’s a very ordinary middle school, 30% farms/esl.

Correct. However your child can still be exposed in the bus or during other classes.

My son at North Bethesda MS a few years ago wasn’t exposed to the horrors other posters describe. He was in with a nerdy crowd, and was driven to school.

It’s probably possible, yes. No bus for my kid. I think other classes align with the math ones to a large degree so he doesn’t have that many disruptive kids there. But of course anything can happen.

My son is in above grade level math (2 years advanced) and there are still two disruptive boys in his pre-calculus class. My guess is that they were like this in MS as well and didn’t just start acting up in 10th grade.

That's awesome to hear. The world needs smart disruptors

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Strangely, so far so good. I have a 6th grader but in another district. They have tracks for math. My theory is that if you are on a higher track, you get into a cohort with other nerdy kids who are in other classes with you as well.
It’s a very ordinary middle school, 30% farms/esl.

Correct. However your child can still be exposed in the bus or during other classes.

My son at North Bethesda MS a few years ago wasn’t exposed to the horrors other posters describe. He was in with a nerdy crowd, and was driven to school.

It’s probably possible, yes. No bus for my kid. I think other classes align with the math ones to a large degree so he doesn’t have that many disruptive kids there. But of course anything can happen.

My son is in above grade level math (2 years advanced) and there are still two disruptive boys in his pre-calculus class. My guess is that they were like this in MS as well and didn’t just start acting up in 10th grade.

That's awesome to hear. The world needs smart disruptors

disruptors is one thing, obnoxious is another.

DP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I HATE that some of the girls wear such skimpy clothing. Super short shorts and crop tops. I don't let my DD out of the house wearing that kind of thing, BUT, I can't control what she does when she leaves the house. I know she rolls up her shorts and ties up her shirt when she leaves the house. I'm not happy about it, but I can't stop it.

My older DS (now in HS) told me that a lot of girls dress that way in MS, and that the way DD dresses is not out of the ordinary and is also much more tame than some of the other girls in MS. I hate it. I do wish they wore uniforms. It would be so much easier, but when I think back to when I was in MS, I would've hated uniforms, so I don't blame kids who don't want strict uniforms. I just wish they didn't dress like that.

Wouldn't it be great if society, collectively, spent less time condemning the clothing choices of girls and young women? Just imagine what we could do with the mental energy that would free up.

Wouldn't it be great for society if people like you would teach girls that their worth comes from their mind and character and not from their booty?

What a girl wears on her own time should be her choice. What she wears in a government funded site for learning should reflect her task, which is to improve her mind. Professionalism, please. It won't hurt to teach it earlier.

I do. And you know what really helps with that? When people don't obsess about the clothing choices of girls and young women. Please focus on their mind and character, not their clothing choices. Thank you.

goes hand in hand.. girls wear skimpy clothing because of their self esteem. How many seriously studious girls wear skimpy clothing? Would you be ok with your DD wearing her underwear to school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I'm the first PP, and a mom.

I would love if I didn't have to worry about perverts and creeps, but we don't live in that utopia.

But, why do you think it's appropriate for a 12 yr old to wear super short shorts such that the curve of their butt is visible? I mean, why not just let her wear her underwear to school.

If it were my kid's clothing choices, I would say, "Don't wear those shorts, your rear end will stick to the chair."

If it's not my kid's clothing choices, I don't care. Why do you care about the clothing choices of kids who aren't your kid?

because it's a distraction that impacts the school environment. Why do you think some publics, charters and almost all private schools require uniforms?

Schools have dress codes for a reason. If you want your 12 yr old to walk around with her boobs and butt showing, I don't care. But not at school. And I would question your parenting if I saw her in public like that, and whether your 12 yr old is sexually active. Yes, I would judge. shrug. If you want to be judged by your mind and character, then dress in a way that doesn't focus attention to your body.