Middle School Culture Shock

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I HATE that some of the girls wear such skimpy clothing. Super short shorts and crop tops. I don't let my DD out of the house wearing that kind of thing, BUT, I can't control what she does when she leaves the house. I know she rolls up her shorts and ties up her shirt when she leaves the house. I'm not happy about it, but I can't stop it.

My older DS (now in HS) told me that a lot of girls dress that way in MS, and that the way DD dresses is not out of the ordinary and is also much more tame than some of the other girls in MS. I hate it. I do wish they wore uniforms. It would be so much easier, but when I think back to when I was in MS, I would've hated uniforms, so I don't blame kids who don't want strict uniforms. I just wish they didn't dress like that.

Wouldn't it be great if society, collectively, spent less time condemning the clothing choices of girls and young women? Just imagine what we could do with the mental energy that would free up.

What? What exactly do you propose the society do with that 'mental energy'?
Enough BS, lady! There's something called 'appropriate attire' and the sooner you and your snowflake figure it out, the better. And I'm still waiting for your proposal regarding collective societal actions.

Something more productive than condemning the clothing choices of girls and young women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I HATE that some of the girls wear such skimpy clothing. Super short shorts and crop tops. I don't let my DD out of the house wearing that kind of thing, BUT, I can't control what she does when she leaves the house. I know she rolls up her shorts and ties up her shirt when she leaves the house. I'm not happy about it, but I can't stop it.

My older DS (now in HS) told me that a lot of girls dress that way in MS, and that the way DD dresses is not out of the ordinary and is also much more tame than some of the other girls in MS. I hate it. I do wish they wore uniforms. It would be so much easier, but when I think back to when I was in MS, I would've hated uniforms, so I don't blame kids who don't want strict uniforms. I just wish they didn't dress like that.

Wouldn't it be great if society, collectively, spent less time condemning the clothing choices of girls and young women? Just imagine what we could do with the mental energy that would free up.

I think there's one poster on this board who gets off talking about teens and their skimpy clothing. We had one on youbemom back in the day. Possibly the same guy. It's sick and it's sad and those of us with daughters need to teach them that men like this and their opinions do not matter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I remember the exact same behavior in the 80s when I was in middle school and I attended a private school.

Seriously doubt that people were treating teachers the same way. I certainly never saw it.

I attended a private middle school in the 90’s and this stuff happened.

So did I. This never happened.

I attended private from the mid 80s through late 90s and we never disrespected teachers to their faces. As far as the behavior, there was just as much sex and drugs and alcohol as the public school kids I was friends with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter attended an MCPS elementary school and just started middle school. Since starting she has complained about the amount of swearing done by the students and the "skimpy" clothes the girls wear that show more than some bathing suits. She said there is very little respect for teachers, with kids flipping them off in class when they turn their backs. Is this typical of MCPS middle school?

Here's an 🍎 for your daughter.

With such judgmental reports of her peers, middle school is going to be a real breeze for her, lol.

You are a mean girl mom. Grow up.

Her kid is the one on the videos.....

[Anonymous]

Not all of these kids have absentee parents. Some kids are just rebellious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I HATE that some of the girls wear such skimpy clothing. Super short shorts and crop tops. I don't let my DD out of the house wearing that kind of thing, BUT, I can't control what she does when she leaves the house. I know she rolls up her shorts and ties up her shirt when she leaves the house. I'm not happy about it, but I can't stop it.

My older DS (now in HS) told me that a lot of girls dress that way in MS, and that the way DD dresses is not out of the ordinary and is also much more tame than some of the other girls in MS. I hate it. I do wish they wore uniforms. It would be so much easier, but when I think back to when I was in MS, I would've hated uniforms, so I don't blame kids who don't want strict uniforms. I just wish they didn't dress like that.

Wouldn't it be great if society, collectively, spent less time condemning the clothing choices of girls and young women? Just imagine what we could do with the mental energy that would free up.

I think there's one poster on this board who gets off talking about teens and their skimpy clothing. We had one on youbemom back in the day. Possibly the same guy. It's sick and it's sad and those of us with daughters need to teach them that men like this and their opinions do not matter.

I wouldn’t assume that. FWIW, I know plenty of moms in my MCPS neighborhood who will adamantly insist that girls be able to wear what they want. And that dress codes are antiquated and crush girls’ style, etc. Feminism and all.

Personally, I disagree and am often surprised/appalled by the clothes some MS girls wear. But I can only control my own kid (and barely can do that).

[Anonymous]

I remember dressing provocatively trying to reveal as much as possible .Like a little flower waiting to be pollinated. In retrospect, it spoke volumes of my self esteem. There was nothing feministic about it. I wanted to attract boys and it worked. There was a lot of heartbreak. I made some poor choices. I tell my kids to wear what they want and they are also gravitating toward skimpy outfits. It is part of the whole pubescent uncertainty and discomfort.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not all of these kids have absentee parents. Some kids are just rebellious.

Yes, but those involved parents often just give up and let it go vs consequences so same impact as absentee parents.

[Anonymous]

Wow this is terrifying to me. Especially how blasé some parents are about porn. It’s absolutely nothing like a magazine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I couldn't care less about the cursing. But the substance abuse and p0rn? That is absolutely NOT okay. Trying drinking and drugs at a younger age increases the risk of addiction.
As for p0rn, this is not kids passing around the magazine they found in their dad's dresser - this is access to highly explicit, often violent content that depicts women being abused and degraded. Young women are starting to talk about how its pervasiveness has damaged their relationships. How can any of you up your hands at this and chalk it up to kids being kids? We are talking about 11-14 year olds!

Nobody is throwing their hands ups, they’re just not clutching their pearls nor are they shocked. Some of us live in the real world and accept reality so expected this was coming when our kids got to MS. We didn’t think our kids so “innocent” and special as to be removed from encountering these things. Instead of stammering on DCUM we just address it directly with our kids or talk about when it comes up. We reinforce the concept of consent, we explain that lots of what is depicted in porn is acting albeit graphic and that some of it is very dangerous particularly in the hands of non consenting and inexperienced persons. We explain that what thy see clips of should not be what everybody is doing normally nor should it be expected to be what everyone wants or enjoys. And we explain that while it can provide visual/auditory pleasure it should not be consumed all the time as it can be addictive and change perception of what’s enjoyable.

Beyond the above, what are you expecting folks to do. Punish kids for growing ip and being exposed to things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I couldn't care less about the cursing. But the substance abuse and p0rn? That is absolutely NOT okay. Trying drinking and drugs at a younger age increases the risk of addiction.
As for p0rn, this is not kids passing around the magazine they found in their dad's dresser - this is access to highly explicit, often violent content that depicts women being abused and degraded. Young women are starting to talk about how its pervasiveness has damaged their relationships. How can any of you up your hands at this and chalk it up to kids being kids? We are talking about 11-14 year olds!

Nobody is throwing their hands ups, they’re just not clutching their pearls nor are they shocked. Some of us live in the real world and accept reality so expected this was coming when our kids got to MS. We didn’t think our kids so “innocent” and special as to be removed from encountering these things. Instead of stammering on DCUM we just address it directly with our kids or talk about when it comes up. We reinforce the concept of consent, we explain that lots of what is depicted in porn is acting albeit graphic and that some of it is very dangerous particularly in the hands of non consenting and inexperienced persons. We explain that what thy see clips of should not be what everybody is doing normally nor should it be expected to be what everyone wants or enjoys. And we explain that while it can provide visual/auditory pleasure it should not be consumed all the time as it can be addictive and change perception of what’s enjoyable.

Beyond the above, what are you expecting folks to do. Punish kids for growing ip and being exposed to things.

Having your child be seen or see their friends performing sexual acts with other students on video at school is accepted reality? What kind of sick world do you and your kids live in?

[Anonymous]

PP, if that happened to you/your family, I'm sorry. Obviously this kind of thing is deeply problematic in many ways. But it's not what this thread is about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Having graduated MCPS in 1987 I can remember middle school years as very rebellious time. I did like not like smoking so just would watch the bathroom for the smokers so they would not get caught. I remember skipping classes and failing my first classes. My parents did not freak out and I survived it just fine. I am very glad our school system still does not make stupid dress codes (that only get enforced on females). Middle school has not suddenly become a jungle it has always been years of exploration and rebellion. Yep very scary for parents and I have two boys in middle school right so I get the scary part. I do kind of like seeing them starting to figure out how to be an adolescent even if it involves challenging me more and more.

Happy to hear your stories but this is like talking about the Paleolithic Era. Completely different world. Utterly different MCPS.

[Anonymous]

Newsflash

Your kid is doing the same thing all our kids do. Thy will survive too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP, if that happened to you/your family, I'm sorry. Obviously this kind of thing is deeply problematic in many ways. But it's not what this thread is about.

What? Not the PP, but that is exactly what this thread about. MS student behavior at school.