What is your perspective on spanking?

[Anonymous]

According to research, spanking isn't effective and negatively affects kids. DH and I were both spanked, and neither of us feel that we were negatively affected by it in the long term. However, we've never spanked our kids.

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/11/05/health/spanking-harmful-study-pediatricians.html

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3447048/

[Anonymous]

The issue is that adults don't know their own strength, and can really physically and psychologically traumatize a child.

I was spanked, but don't remember it. I suspect my parents didn't really spank hard. I spanked my kids very gently when they were little and out of control, and that swift slap on the bottom was quicker and more painless for our relationship than hours of time-out or explanations.

However I recognize it's not for everyone, and particularly not for people who cannot control themselves.

[Anonymous]

It's abusive. 100% cold stop.

[Anonymous]

I don't believe in war, or physical violence. I will grab a kid's arm to prevent them from running into the street or parking lot when a car is coming but that's it.

I have what many of you would consider too many kids, and they are not all young, and I have never spanked.

[Anonymous]

My mom spanked me and sometimes crossed a line. I don't spank my kids because I don't want them having similar memories of me.

[Anonymous]

Don’t.

[Anonymous]

Kids wouldn’t be so bratty these day’s if they were spanked. I was spanked. No negative effects. I do not spank my kids.

[Anonymous]

I was spanked. Don’t think it had any long term negative effects. I have never had the urge to spank my own kids. Was never a natural reaction (or need).

[Anonymous]

I was spanked, I would never spank my own kids.

[Anonymous]

I’m a preschool teacher and a parent. I was spanked a few times as a child.

I have never spanked my own children or any of my students (of course).

I bring up that I’m a teacher because I can control a classroom of 3 year olds without resorting to hitting them to teach them how to behave. Hitting a child serves to scare them, shame them, and IF it extinguishes the behavior, it’s with possible permanent damages to the parent child bond. I run a tight ship in my classroom and my students respect me and my rules and my routine. Same with my own children at home. Also—how can you teach a child not to hit their siblings or peers when you are hitting them?

Parenting is hard, it’s exhausting, it takes work, it’s many many years of the same thing over and over. Spanking is the “easy” way out. If you can’t figure out anything else—get help from a book, a class, a coach.

[Anonymous]

I remember being spanked and it is when my parents were angry or lost control/reactive. It was not a measured/planned consequence for a behavior. It was also never excessive/extreme - more like a hard, reactive swat.

DH was spanked as a planned consequence (“wait until your father gets home”) which he says was never a deterrent because it was so far removed. His dad sometimes used a belt.

We don’t spank. I don’t see how we can teach our kids not to hit when we hit ourselves.

[Anonymous]

I was spanked, and dad used a belt. I don't think it had lasting negative impact, but it is not effective. It's just a bad idea. Many better ways to parent.

[Anonymous]

When I go out, some times I see little kids hitting their parents or screaming in their face. Parents get down and the kids level and talk to them just to get a slap across the face. I feel so bad and I want to go up and ask if I can slap the shit out of their kid for them.

[Anonymous]

It shows kids that someone who loves them and cares for them can hit them. That's not something I want to teach my kids.

[Anonymous]

If you do not want your kids to ever hit anyone, you should not hit them. It is one of the few issues that is quite clear to me...and I was spanked as a child by otherwise excellent parents. I think it is a loss of control by the parents rather than any kind of discipline.