What is your perspective on spanking?

[Anonymous]

I honestly cannot imagine hitting one of my kids. I have never hit anyone and I am certainly not going to start with one of my own small children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It shows kids that someone who loves them and cares for them can hit them. That's not something I want to teach my kids.

This is my most important concern with it. It's not a healthy relationship, even between a parent and child. What would be your reaction to stranger coming up and slapping your child? You'd want to beat the hell out of them. So why would you do it to your own child? This is not what people who love each other do to each other.

Or not even a stranger - what do you do when your daughter, who was spanked by her father, is hit by her abusive boyfriend, who then explains that he really loves her, but he had to hit her because of the way she was acting? How on earth do you reconcile that?

You explain it by saying she and her boyfriend are equals, and equals don't hit because neither is responsible for the other one. Parent and child are not equal, parent is responsible for the wellbeing and guidance of the child, who is unable to do that him or herself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It shows kids that someone who loves them and cares for them can hit them. That's not something I want to teach my kids.

This is my most important concern with it. It's not a healthy relationship, even between a parent and child. What would be your reaction to stranger coming up and slapping your child? You'd want to beat the hell out of them. So why would you do it to your own child? This is not what people who love each other do to each other.

Or not even a stranger - what do you do when your daughter, who was spanked by her father, is hit by her abusive boyfriend, who then explains that he really loves her, but he had to hit her because of the way she was acting? How on earth do you reconcile that?

You explain it by saying she and her boyfriend are equals, and equals don't hit because neither is responsible for the other one. Parent and child are not equal, parent is responsible for the wellbeing and guidance of the child, who is unable to do that him or herself.

Taking responsibility for our children’s well-being and providing guidance does not involve hitting them. At least, not in our house. We have a host of better tools available for discipline.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It shows kids that someone who loves them and cares for them can hit them. That's not something I want to teach my kids.

This is my most important concern with it. It's not a healthy relationship, even between a parent and child. What would be your reaction to stranger coming up and slapping your child? You'd want to beat the hell out of them. So why would you do it to your own child? This is not what people who love each other do to each other.

Or not even a stranger - what do you do when your daughter, who was spanked by her father, is hit by her abusive boyfriend, who then explains that he really loves her, but he had to hit her because of the way she was acting? How on earth do you reconcile that?

You explain it by saying she and her boyfriend are equals, and equals don't hit because neither is responsible for the other one. Parent and child are not equal, parent is responsible for the wellbeing and guidance of the child, who is unable to do that him or herself.

What a dumb point of view. We all are responsible for loved ones in our life, and for their wellbeing! You think that spouses are not responsible for each other or should not take actions to ensure the other's wellbeing?

"I'm responsible for my child's wellbeing" *hits child repeatedly*

[Anonymous]

I’ve never spanked my kids. I have pinched them or threatened to pinch them when they are doing something to their sibling and won’t stop. I have probably smacked a hand in return of a toddler hitting or kicking to prove a point. Embarrassed to say I’ve even done that though.

[Anonymous]

If I have kids I probably will not spank. First reason is that I remember reading about a study that showed kids who were spanked vs. kids who weren't. Apparently the brains of the kids who were spanked were different from the ones that weren't. And it wasn't different in a good way. I don't remember all of the details.

Second reason, is I'm the oldest so I was spanked more than my younger brother and sister because they eventually stopped using spanking as a discipline tool. I was never abused or ever had anything bad happen to me, but I deal with a lot of anxiety, low self-esteem, and relationship issues (for example, I've never had a boyfriend). My brother and sister don't have any of these issues and I wonder if me being spanked more (before my parents used better techniques for discipline) + just being a natural sensitive person is the reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your kids are smaller than you and they are dependent on you for everything. And you hit them.

Oh the drama

Did you want to dispute any of the above?

Not drama. Truth.

Your kids would tell you but they are afraid to.

Drama

Truth. Hurts. As does spanking.

Drama

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It shows kids that someone who loves them and cares for them can hit them. That's not something I want to teach my kids.

This is my most important concern with it. It's not a healthy relationship, even between a parent and child. What would be your reaction to stranger coming up and slapping your child? You'd want to beat the hell out of them. So why would you do it to your own child? This is not what people who love each other do to each other.

Or not even a stranger - what do you do when your daughter, who was spanked by her father, is hit by her abusive boyfriend, who then explains that he really loves her, but he had to hit her because of the way she was acting? How on earth do you reconcile that?

You explain it by saying she and her boyfriend are equals, and equals don't hit because neither is responsible for the other one. Parent and child are not equal, parent is responsible for the wellbeing and guidance of the child, who is unable to do that him or herself.

Not to mention the child is unable to fight back or flee either.

[Anonymous]

I was never spanked as a child. I remember witnessing another kid getting spanked in public once when I was little and asking my mother what was happening. She explained to me in a disdainful tone that some parents spanked their kids because the parents were "dumb" and couldn't be bothered to learn how to parent and discipline properly.

My mother is 70 and was not spanked by her parents, either, nor was my father by his parents. None of my cousins were spanked. None of us spank our kids. It's just not done.

But I'm not sure that I've ever been presented with an alternate perspective on the issue so I'm reluctant to declare that no one should ever do it under any circumstances. It doesn't work for our family but I could absolutely see it for severely dangerous behavior in young children that has to be extinguished immediately by fear/shock, i.e. running into the street.

[Anonymous]

I was spanked as a kid and all I remember is that it hurt a lot after and my skin was red, vividly remember that. My mom has said that’s her biggest parenting regret. No, I don’t physically hurt my kid (yes, I think about it when I get angry but I deal with it internally).

[Anonymous]

I cannot imagine ever hitting my child so no, I would never spank them.

Also, it’s weird. We... engage in this activity in the bedroom and I just can’t imagine then spanking my kids. Ew.

[Anonymous]

We occasionally spank.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It shows kids that someone who loves them and cares for them can hit them. That's not something I want to teach my kids.

This is my most important concern with it. It's not a healthy relationship, even between a parent and child. What would be your reaction to stranger coming up and slapping your child? You'd want to beat the hell out of them. So why would you do it to your own child? This is not what people who love each other do to each other.

Or not even a stranger - what do you do when your daughter, who was spanked by her father, is hit by her abusive boyfriend, who then explains that he really loves her, but he had to hit her because of the way she was acting? How on earth do you reconcile that?

You explain it by saying she and her boyfriend are equals, and equals don't hit because neither is responsible for the other one. Parent and child are not equal, parent is responsible for the wellbeing and guidance of the child, who is unable to do that him or herself.

What a dumb point of view. We all are responsible for loved ones in our life, and for their wellbeing! You think that spouses are not responsible for each other or should not take actions to ensure the other's wellbeing?

"I'm responsible for my child's wellbeing" *hits child repeatedly*

Let me explain it to you in simple terms. If my husband and I are walking down the street and he rushes into the oncoming traffic and gets hit by a car and dies, not one person will blame me. He is an adult responsible for the consequences of his choices. If my kids does, everyone will. So, no, we are not ALL responsible for our loved ones' wellbeing. We are only responsible for ourselves and for our kids who cannot be responsible for themselves.

[Anonymous]

Is it okay for your partner to hit you when you've done something wrong, as long as (s)he doesn't hit too hard? No, of course not. Don't see spanking being any different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It shows kids that someone who loves them and cares for them can hit them. That's not something I want to teach my kids.

This is my most important concern with it. It's not a healthy relationship, even between a parent and child. What would be your reaction to stranger coming up and slapping your child? You'd want to beat the hell out of them. So why would you do it to your own child? This is not what people who love each other do to each other.

Or not even a stranger - what do you do when your daughter, who was spanked by her father, is hit by her abusive boyfriend, who then explains that he really loves her, but he had to hit her because of the way she was acting? How on earth do you reconcile that?

You explain it by saying she and her boyfriend are equals, and equals don't hit because neither is responsible for the other one. Parent and child are not equal, parent is responsible for the wellbeing and guidance of the child, who is unable to do that him or herself.

What a dumb point of view. We all are responsible for loved ones in our life, and for their wellbeing! You think that spouses are not responsible for each other or should not take actions to ensure the other's wellbeing?

"I'm responsible for my child's wellbeing" *hits child repeatedly*

Let me explain it to you in simple terms. If my husband and I are walking down the street and he rushes into the oncoming traffic and gets hit by a car and dies, not one person will blame me. He is an adult responsible for the consequences of his choices. If my kids does, everyone will. So, no, we are not ALL responsible for our loved ones' wellbeing. We are only responsible for ourselves and for our kids who cannot be responsible for themselves.

Cool story bro