Husband won’t consider a vasectomy and I can’t get over it

[Anonymous]

I’m so angry and resentful and thinking this is the end of our marriage. I’ve tried to get passed it but it’s unbelievable that after two very difficult pregnancies he expects me to be the one to have surgery and take responsibility. I’ve had an IUD intermittently for 15 years and I’m done with hormones altogether. I don’t know how to get passed this...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m so angry and resentful and thinking this is the end of our marriage. I’ve tried to get passed it but it’s unbelievable that after two very difficult pregnancies he expects me to be the one to have surgery and take responsibility. I’ve had an IUD intermittently for 15 years and I’m done with hormones altogether. I don’t know how to get passed this...

get a tubal ligation. problem solved.

The person who doesn't want kids needs to take care of it.

[Anonymous]

Neither of us want kids and I’m getting a tubal ligation! It’s still surgery! Requires anesthesia. A vasectomy is a 5 min in office procedure. It’s a no brainer.

[Anonymous]

You body, your choice. His body, his choice. Just like it’s your choice to say no unprotected sex so you both need to find a middle ground. Condoms? Not sex ever again?

[Anonymous]

His body his choice, but it's also your choice if you want to have sex with him. I basically told my DH that birth control was his responsibility and left the method up to him. We used condoms for a year and then he made the appointment for a vasectomy. He said the procedure was no big deal and he had very minimal discomfort.

[Anonymous]

Get a non hormonal iud or Condom

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:His body his choice, but it's also your choice if you want to have sex with him. I basically told my DH that birth control was his responsibility and left the method up to him. We used condoms for a year and then he made the appointment for a vasectomy. He said the procedure was no big deal and he had very minimal discomfort.

This! Condoms or vasectomy, he has two good options. Up to him which one is more appealing.

Unless, of course, he wants more kid and you don’t. Is that the case?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:His body his choice, but it's also your choice if you want to have sex with him. I basically told my DH that birth control was his responsibility and left the method up to him. We used condoms for a year and then he made the appointment for a vasectomy. He said the procedure was no big deal and he had very minimal discomfort.

This! Condoms or vasectomy, he has two good options. Up to him which one is more appealing.

Unless, of course, he wants more kid and you don’t. Is that the case?

Or he just divorces her, and moves on to a more accommodating partner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m so angry and resentful and thinking this is the end of our marriage. I’ve tried to get passed it but it’s unbelievable that after two very difficult pregnancies he expects me to be the one to have surgery and take responsibility. I’ve had an IUD intermittently for 15 years and I’m done with hormones altogether. I don’t know how to get passed this...

get a tubal ligation. problem solved.

The person who doesn't want kids needs to take care of it.

TL is much more invasive, more expensive, and has a longer recovery than a vasectomy.

Men should also take some responsibility for birth control. Enough of them certainly don't take care of their children (deadbeat dads).

Make him wear a condom then. And OP should also wear a female condom. See how the man likes that. I find most men don't like condoms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:His body his choice, but it's also your choice if you want to have sex with him. I basically told my DH that birth control was his responsibility and left the method up to him. We used condoms for a year and then he made the appointment for a vasectomy. He said the procedure was no big deal and he had very minimal discomfort.

This! Condoms or vasectomy, he has two good options. Up to him which one is more appealing.

Unless, of course, he wants more kid and you don’t. Is that the case?

Or he just divorces her, and moves on to a more accommodating partner.

And if he fathers children with this new partner will he be a good dad and support the child? Now he has several children with different women. Don't we have enough of that kind of scenario in this world?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m so angry and resentful and thinking this is the end of our marriage. I’ve tried to get passed it but it’s unbelievable that after two very difficult pregnancies he expects me to be the one to have surgery and take responsibility. I’ve had an IUD intermittently for 15 years and I’m done with hormones altogether. I don’t know how to get passed this...

get a tubal ligation. problem solved.

The person who doesn't want kids needs to take care of it.

TL is much more invasive, more expensive, and has a longer recovery than a vasectomy.

Men should also take some responsibility for birth control. Enough of them certainly don't take care of their children (deadbeat dads).

Make him wear a condom then. And OP should also wear a female condom. See how the man likes that. I find most men don't like condoms.

Or he can just move on from a drama queen.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t be able to get over it either op, and I did end up having the tubal but only because my last baby was ac section. I endured so much to not have kids (hormonal birth control for decades) and then so so so much to have them (terrible pregnancies, fertility medication, c sections) that had my husband been unwilling to do one uncomfortable thing it would have been so hurtful I don’t think I could get over it.

He openly said he would, he almost got one in addition to my tubal just to be 150% sure we couldn’t be a failure statistic.

Men severely underestimate the physical and emotional toll of all that while they basically have zero physical effects from fertility at all. At least not negative ones!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:His body his choice, but it's also your choice if you want to have sex with him. I basically told my DH that birth control was his responsibility and left the method up to him. We used condoms for a year and then he made the appointment for a vasectomy. He said the procedure was no big deal and he had very minimal discomfort.

This! Condoms or vasectomy, he has two good options. Up to him which one is more appealing.

Unless, of course, he wants more kid and you don’t. Is that the case?

Or he just divorces her, and moves on to a more accommodating partner.

And if he fathers children with this new partner will he be a good dad and support the child? Now he has several children with different women. Don't we have enough of that kind of scenario in this world?

Are you really saying OP should shoulder the birth control burden because otherwise her husband will divorce her and turn into a deadbeat dad? And it would be her fault?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:His body his choice, but it's also your choice if you want to have sex with him. I basically told my DH that birth control was his responsibility and left the method up to him. We used condoms for a year and then he made the appointment for a vasectomy. He said the procedure was no big deal and he had very minimal discomfort.

This! Condoms or vasectomy, he has two good options. Up to him which one is more appealing.

Unless, of course, he wants more kid and you don’t. Is that the case?

Or he just divorces her, and moves on to a more accommodating partner.

And if he fathers children with this new partner will he be a good dad and support the child? Now he has several children with different women. Don't we have enough of that kind of scenario in this world?

Are you really saying OP should shoulder the birth control burden because otherwise her husband will divorce her and turn into a deadbeat dad? And it would be her fault?

? No, the other PP stated that he could divorce her and find a more " accommodating" partner. I'm saying if he does this, and this new more accommodating partner gets pregnant because he's too selfish to be responsible for spreading his seed, then would he be a good dad to ALL of his children, including the new one he has created.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m so angry and resentful and thinking this is the end of our marriage. I’ve tried to get passed it but it’s unbelievable that after two very difficult pregnancies he expects me to be the one to have surgery and take responsibility. I’ve had an IUD intermittently for 15 years and I’m done with hormones altogether. I don’t know how to get passed this...

get a tubal ligation. problem solved.

The person who doesn't want kids needs to take care of it.

TL is much more invasive, more expensive, and has a longer recovery than a vasectomy.

Men should also take some responsibility for birth control. Enough of them certainly don't take care of their children (deadbeat dads).

Make him wear a condom then. And OP should also wear a female condom. See how the man likes that. I find most men don't like condoms.

Or he can just move on from a drama queen.

What an ass you are. Op, I couldn't deal with this either. What are you thinking of doing?