Eating healthy - the inner voice that some people have to stay in control

[Anonymous]

I think I have two problems when it comes to my weight problem (100 lb overweight).... the first is I rarely feel full so there isn’t always that natural feeling of I’ve had enough. The second is the inner voice that I think people have that helps them make better choices - e.g. I’m going out to dinner so I’ll make sure I eat a lighter lunch to compensate, or gosh I’ve been eating a lot of sweets lately, I’ll pass on these cookies at work. I just eat whatever sounds good and satisfying at the time - and unfortunately heavy food is usually what leaves me feeling satisfied (like a burger, not a salad).

Does anyone have any tips on how to help build the mental skills to help me? I am wondering if there are any podcasts that might be interesting to listen to, as well. I am genuinely worried for my long term health and want to find a way to make a long term change, not just diet for a few months like I normally do.

[Anonymous]

Read Bright Line Eating. It has changed my life.

[Anonymous]

A program like Weight Watchers will do the math for you in terms of trade offs. It's one of the things I like about it. You can have that cookie, but that means you won't be having xx, yy, zz.

[Anonymous]

I agree that a program like WW might be really helpful to you. But your comment about satiety made me also think of the South Beach Diet/ Atkins approach. What I really enjoyed about those plans is that you don't have to limit your intake at all and it taught me a great deal about satiety. For example, I feel most satisfied when I have fats in my meal so I have some "healthy" fats that I try incorporating. Avocado slices (seasoned with salt and pepper or everything but the bagel seasoning), olives, cheese, eggs (with yolk!), olive oil, peanut butter, salmon, etc. So back to your comment about a burger satisfying you more than a salad: how about putting a beef patty ON your salad, skipping the bun and fries, and including lots of veggies.

Its ok to play around with different approaches. WW Freestyle (I think its the Blue plan now) is great and has a long list of 0 point foods. You can easily find that list online. Print it off and whenever you want a snack, see if any of those foods would scratch your itch. For best results, you should sign up and properly track your foods but if you're unsure, familiarize yourself with the program by following some of the hundreds of people on instagram who are WW ambassadors and document their meals. It will give you an idea of how you can expect to eat. You have to be HONEST with yourself if you're going to succeed on WW. Did you put one tablespoon of peanut butter on your banana or two? Did you have a handful of chips and not track it? It is a commitment, but it works and will teach you a lot.

If you don't have the patience for tracking points and weighing and measuring, I'd suggest going low carb. You can eat as much as you want, from a restricted list of foods. Any restaurant can make you a salad with chicken, salmon, shrimp or a burger. Eat until you feel satisfied, but if you can't imagine a day without sweets, this is going to be very difficult for you.

I enjoy the podcast Weight Loss for Busy Physicians. It gets me in a good mental space.

Best of luck to you on your journey. It is a journey with ups and downs and it will take lots of practice to find that inner voice of control. Some days you will fail. But if you succeed more than you fail, you're on the right path. And those successes will give you the confidence to say No more often.

[Anonymous]

That sounds like poor impulse control. Maybe look into tactics related to your executive function.

[Anonymous]

You need to rewire your brain to crave healthier foods. It IS possible, but it takes time.

You also need to actually lose some weight to realize how much better it feels. I recognize that's a catch 22 (you have to eat healthier to lose weight, but it's hard to have the motivation to do so until you lose weight and therefore see results). However, push through and you'll get there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That sounds like poor impulse control. Maybe look into tactics related to your executive function.

I was about to say this. Please look into whether you have ADHD: not only does the stimulant for ADHD regulate impulse control and increase focus, the side effect is that it lowers your appetite. My son had to stop taking his ADHD meds because he was eating so little he couldn't grow But in your case, it might be great! Of course, don't take it just for weight loss if you don't have ADHD. It's a controlled substance with possible cardiac risk.

[Anonymous]

My inner voice says "go ahead, order the pizza! And the cake!" My inner voice is totally and utterly unreliable. It likes the bad stuff. So I have to not listen to the inner voice, the impulse, but intentionally counter that voice with my intellect. "Hmm, yes, the pizza looks really yummy. But I promised myself to make healthier choices. What else is on the menu?"

One thing that helps to do this is a calorie counting app - any one will do, like My Fitness Pal or Lose It. Set yourself a daily max (many apps will have a questionnaire that asks for weight and age and gender and goal and suggestions one) and then start tracking. Use it religiously and it becomes that voice for you - you know you have 400 calories left for the day, and two pieces of pizza have 450 and you know you want a drink, too...so you'll have something else.

[Anonymous]

I am someone who lost almost 100 lbs so I can speak with some measure of authority, although everyone is different.

First, your OP is written very subtly in the tone of being the victim of your nature or genetics. I used to think in those terms too, and it’s extremely unhelpful. You have to change that mindset.

Second, the book The Power of Habit could help. I lost weight before I read it but I realize in hindsight that shaking my habits and cycles was of vital importance.

Third, everyone I know who has lost weight had a sort of epiphany about it. You have to ride a wave of really deciding to change EVERYTHING. If you’re bargaining with yourself (“well it’s not realistic to give up cake forever” or “counting calories obviously isn’t sustainable”) you’re not going to pull it off.

[Anonymous]

You are right about it being a mind set. If I were you I would start with IF to curb your hunger. You really are experiencing a habit, sugar sensation. Meaning your body is used to getting food at 7am, 11am, 6pm. Not actual hunger, more a sugar spike that you trained your body to expect. It is only hard on the first few days. You trained your body to expect certain foods at certain times, now you have to un-train it. I love food, but I have that voice that you talk about. What I do is I enjoy really good food and will wait for it, as you said. I will skip a meal if I know I am going out. I know that eating out food has million more calories than the food I make myself.
You don't say how old you are, but I am finding that when I was younger(I am approaching 50) I didn't crave sweets or carbs at all. Now I love carbs and sweets! So, I buy dates or raisins or fruit to have at home. For me IF is the easiest for my mind to do now, because I don't like limiting my food choices. I really recommend trying going a whole day without eating to start curbing your appetite. Have your beverages ready, coffee, tea, sparkling water(no diet sodas) and keep busy that first day. Now, if you have diabetes or some health issue, talk to your doctor first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am someone who lost almost 100 lbs so I can speak with some measure of authority, although everyone is different.

First, your OP is written very subtly in the tone of being the victim of your nature or genetics. I used to think in those terms too, and it’s extremely unhelpful. You have to change that mindset.

Second, the book The Power of Habit could help. I lost weight before I read it but I realize in hindsight that shaking my habits and cycles was of vital importance.

Third, everyone I know who has lost weight had a sort of epiphany about it. You have to ride a wave of really deciding to change EVERYTHING. If you’re bargaining with yourself (“well it’s not realistic to give up cake forever” or “counting calories obviously isn’t sustainable”) you’re not going to pull it off.

This is a very good analysis of OP's post! I think you are right. She trained her body to crave heavy foods because that is what she gave her body, her actions caused her cravings, not her genes. This is the core of all the lack of self power no matter the issue we all deal with. It is about facing and accepting our own actions. Like when I bought 1, 2, 3, Magic or Yes, Your teen is crazy... and realized that my kids were not the problem, I was the problem! When I realized that when I go visit my mom, I blamed her for all the "wrong" doings in my childhood and I reverted to being that dumb kid because my synopsis were firing the same way as when I was a child and I had to retrain my brain to stop being a petulant teen! It is not easy, but when you realize that you are blaming your mom 40 years after for yelling at you for not doing a good job vacuuming, it really is not her, it was ME who was acting nuts and being stuck in childhood mind set. Anyway, I got off topic here, but technically it really is about changing your synopsis and neural pathways. Instead of saying I can't help it, I said I am the one that is causing this, I am like a Pavlov's dog!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to rewire your brain to crave healthier foods. It IS possible, but it takes time.

You also need to actually lose some weight to realize how much better it feels. I recognize that's a catch 22 (you have to eat healthier to lose weight, but it's hard to have the motivation to do so until you lose weight and therefore see results). However, push through and you'll get there.

This.

Unfortunately, there’s no magic in it. There’s no easy way or diet that will make it simple. It takes enormous amount of discipline AT FIRST. Then, the discipline (or inner voice) starts coming more easily.

The most important thing you can do is to stop eating sugar. Do that first. After you get used not eating sugar, stop eating bread/pasta. See how that goes.

It is not a race. There is no need to jump into some hard diet that will be impossible to maintain. Put a foot in, then put in another one in down the line.

[Anonymous]

Two podcasts that get at the mindset issues you are talking about.

1) “weight loss for busy physicians” (you do not have to be a doctor), start at the beginning. If you like it, jump ahead to a recent one and she tells you where on her website to find a “roadmap” to the first 30 episodes you should listen to to get started.
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2) “half size me”, the podcaster lost 170 pounds and has maintained her weight loss for 8 years. You can start with recent or old ones.

[Anonymous]

My inner voice reminds me what I weighed that morning. Regardless if it was "bad" or "good" it's similar to a calorie count on a menu--makes me REALLY think if I truly want whatever indulgent thing it is that I am contemplating. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't.

[Anonymous]

Listen to The Hidden Brain podcast on habit - it came out right around the new year. Basically says it isn't about willpower - it is about structuring your life to create habits (that is the hard work). Super interesting - and useful.