I just found out my boyfriend is super wealthy, and I don't know how to handle it

[Anonymous]

I was introduced to a man through mutual friends - 35/divorced/lives in Florida. (I'm 32/never married.) We hit it off and started dating, and since he travels a lot for work, he's come up to DC a few times, and we've gone to NYC together once. Things are going really well - he's smart and kind and I honestly didn't think guys like him existed. Okay. Enough being sappy.

I always figured he was financially comfortable because of how he dressed and his job and the hotel he picked in NYC, but I sort of assumed we were on the same level. (I'm in consulting and make very low six-figures - I'm comfortable but nothing obscene for this area.)

But this weekend, we had the big "define the relationship" talk about where our future could go (since we are meeting families this holiday season), and he was honest about his financial situation. He's more than financially comfortable - he has a vacation home in Palm Beach and an apartment in West Village and owns the southern equivalent of INOVA. He apologized for not being up front about everything, but I guess women in the past had been more into the money than him. He said he hopes I'll end up moving to Florida and in the next few years once he finds people to run his businesses for him, we can travel full-time.

I just...I feel like this is a dream come true situation since I love him... but part of me now feels suspicious of dating a really rich guy. I'm a pretty girl, but I am not the kind of pretty girl that dates millionaires. I almost wish I never knew about the money because then I wouldn't be stressing that I now need to lose 15 lbs and be tanner and more...trophy-like. I also have no idea what to buy him for Christmas because what do you buy the person who is literally buying themselves a new Tesla for Christmas - "Oh here babe I got you a nice steering wheel cover to keep your hands warm in your gajillion dollar car"

Also he asked me what I wanted for Christmas, and how do I even answer that?! I'd been saving for a Cartier watch, but I now I feel like it'd be gold-diggery of me to mention I'd been saving up for one.... but if I didn't know he had all that money, I would have had no problem joking that he should buy me the watch (and assume that I wouldn't get it)

I just feel like I need someone to talk to about all this, but I don't trust my friends since they'll all gossip about it lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was introduced to a man through mutual friends - 35/divorced/lives in Florida. (I'm 32/never married.) We hit it off and started dating, and since he travels a lot for work, he's come up to DC a few times, and we've gone to NYC together once. Things are going really well - he's smart and kind and I honestly didn't think guys like him existed. Okay. Enough being sappy.

I always figured he was financially comfortable because of how he dressed and his job and the hotel he picked in NYC, but I sort of assumed we were on the same level. (I'm in consulting and make very low six-figures - I'm comfortable but nothing obscene for this area.)

But this weekend, we had the big "define the relationship" talk about where our future could go (since we are meeting families this holiday season), and he was honest about his financial situation. He's more than financially comfortable - he has a vacation home in Palm Beach and an apartment in West Village and owns the southern equivalent of INOVA. He apologized for not being up front about everything, but I guess women in the past had been more into the money than him. He said he hopes I'll end up moving to Florida and in the next few years once he finds people to run his businesses for him, we can travel full-time.

I just...I feel like this is a dream come true situation since I love him... but part of me now feels suspicious of dating a really rich guy. I'm a pretty girl, but I am not the kind of pretty girl that dates millionaires. I almost wish I never knew about the money because then I wouldn't be stressing that I now need to lose 15 lbs and be tanner and more...trophy-like. I also have no idea what to buy him for Christmas because what do you buy the person who is literally buying themselves a new Tesla for Christmas - "Oh here babe I got you a nice steering wheel cover to keep your hands warm in your gajillion dollar car"

Also he asked me what I wanted for Christmas, and how do I even answer that?! I'd been saving for a Cartier watch, but I now I feel like it'd be gold-diggery of me to mention I'd been saving up for one.... but if I didn't know he had all that money, I would have had no problem joking that he should buy me the watch (and assume that I wouldn't get it)

I just feel like I need someone to talk to about all this, but I don't trust my friends since they'll all gossip about it lol

You poor thing.

[Anonymous]

He'll make you sign a pre-nup anyways, so enjoy the ride.

[Anonymous]

So he's divorced, lives in Florida and you live in the DC area? Okey dokey...That should work out well. Hint: Don't quit your job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was introduced to a man through mutual friends - 35/divorced/lives in Florida. (I'm 32/never married.) We hit it off and started dating, and since he travels a lot for work, he's come up to DC a few times, and we've gone to NYC together once. Things are going really well - he's smart and kind and I honestly didn't think guys like him existed. Okay. Enough being sappy.

I always figured he was financially comfortable because of how he dressed and his job and the hotel he picked in NYC, but I sort of assumed we were on the same level. (I'm in consulting and make very low six-figures - I'm comfortable but nothing obscene for this area.)

But this weekend, we had the big "define the relationship" talk about where our future could go (since we are meeting families this holiday season), and he was honest about his financial situation. He's more than financially comfortable - he has a vacation home in Palm Beach and an apartment in West Village and owns the southern equivalent of INOVA. He apologized for not being up front about everything, but I guess women in the past had been more into the money than him. He said he hopes I'll end up moving to Florida and in the next few years once he finds people to run his businesses for him, we can travel full-time.

I just...I feel like this is a dream come true situation since I love him... but part of me now feels suspicious of dating a really rich guy. I'm a pretty girl, but I am not the kind of pretty girl that dates millionaires. I almost wish I never knew about the money because then I wouldn't be stressing that I now need to lose 15 lbs and be tanner and more...trophy-like. I also have no idea what to buy him for Christmas because what do you buy the person who is literally buying themselves a new Tesla for Christmas - "Oh here babe I got you a nice steering wheel cover to keep your hands warm in your gajillion dollar car"

Also he asked me what I wanted for Christmas, and how do I even answer that?! I'd been saving for a Cartier watch, but I now I feel like it'd be gold-diggery of me to mention I'd been saving up for one.... but if I didn't know he had all that money, I would have had no problem joking that he should buy me the watch (and assume that I wouldn't get it)

I just feel like I need someone to talk to about all this, but I don't trust my friends since they'll all gossip about it lol

A lot of men lie and tell women what they want to hear to string them along. I would be suspicious and keep dating other people.

[Anonymous]

Just continue to act as you did before. If it ain’t broke don’t fix it.

[Anonymous]

Are you sure he's telling the truth?

[Anonymous]

I have a feeling that some other woman is writing the same thing on her local community board. But he's different because they usually break up with you around Christmas time...so he must be really rich.

[Anonymous]

Why do I feel like I’m reading a script for a Hallmark movie.

[Anonymous]

Agree that you will have to sign a pre nup. So don’t quit your job to travel full time with him unless you get something in the pre nup that he will owe you enough to make up for quitting in case of divorce.

Part of me wonders if he is telling you the full truth. Why would he need to tell you this now? I have about eight million dollars in a trust fund and my boyfriend of a year doesn’t know the amount. He knows I have a trust fund but doesn’t know the amount. I also have a million on personal non trust assets and I haven’t told him that either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do I feel like I’m reading a script for a Hallmark movie.

Plot twist: the boyfriend is really a set of twins

[Anonymous]

OP, just be yourself. If you have something real - talk to him about how knowing this info makes you feel! He will likely respect it and it may bring you two closer.

And if your dream is coming true - be thankful! Not suspicious. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

You didn't google him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree that you will have to sign a pre nup. So don’t quit your job to travel full time with him unless you get something in the pre nup that he will owe you enough to make up for quitting in case of divorce.

Part of me wonders if he is telling you the full truth. Why would he need to tell you this now? I have about eight million dollars in a trust fund and my boyfriend of a year doesn’t know the amount. He knows I have a trust fund but doesn’t know the amount. I also have a million on personal non trust assets and I haven’t told him that either.

...but you couldn't wait to tell somebody!

[Anonymous]

I’d be highly suspicious. Highly.