How to kindly turn down hocom ask?

[Anonymous]

My daughter was asked to home coming by a boy she is not interested in going with.

Two years ago he asked her and she honestly said as a sophomore she was just going with her group of girlfriends. Now she's a senior and everyone is pairing up and he asked her again. She told him she would think about it because she did not know how to kindly decline.

Can you help me provide her with some words to say no. She has to do it today because the boy she was interested in going with asked her last night

[Anonymous]

"No thanks." She doesn't owe him a reason why. If she wants, she can (quietly, so as not to embarrass him) say "I don't think we like each other in the same way."

But "No" is actually a complete sentence.

[Anonymous]

In person and without others listening, she should say I thought it over and I appreciate the ask, but I have to say no. Do not mention the other invite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"No thanks." She doesn't owe him a reason why. If she wants, she can (quietly, so as not to embarrass him) say "I don't think we like each other in the same way."

But "No" is actually a complete sentence.

She could also throw in a “but I’m really flattered you asked.” Softens the blow a bit

[Anonymous]

If all her friends are going with a date, better some date than no date. OF course this assumes that the boy doesn't have any major personality flaws like anger issues, stalking, drug addiction, etc

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"No thanks." She doesn't owe him a reason why. If she wants, she can (quietly, so as not to embarrass him) say "I don't think we like each other in the same way."

But "No" is actually a complete sentence.

She could also throw in a “but I’m really flattered you asked.” Softens the blow a bit

This!! it takes so much nerve to ask someone you're not sure will say yes to a dance. And to hear them say no, it'll be a dig to the self-esteem. So it would be a humane thing to do to soften the blow. I think saying "I really appreciate the invitation and I'm so flattered. But I already have other plans" would be a nice way to soften it.

[Anonymous]

How about, 'sorry, I couldn't figure out how to tell you, but I already agreed to go with X' He doesn't need to know that X invited her later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How about, 'sorry, I couldn't figure out how to tell you, but I already agreed to go with X' He doesn't need to know that X invited her later.

or better- "No, but thank you, I already have plans"
"Plans" is open ended, purposefully ambiguous

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"No thanks." She doesn't owe him a reason why. If she wants, she can (quietly, so as not to embarrass him) say "I don't think we like each other in the same way."

But "No" is actually a complete sentence.

There are some really nasty people on these boards. I don’t think that’s a nice way to let someone down. Don’t you want to raise your kids to be kind?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How about, 'sorry, I couldn't figure out how to tell you, but I already agreed to go with X' He doesn't need to know that X invited her later.

This is good. Just say she already said yes to someone else. I would teach her to be as kind as she can and let him down softly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"No thanks." She doesn't owe him a reason why. If she wants, she can (quietly, so as not to embarrass him) say "I don't think we like each other in the same way."

But "No" is actually a complete sentence.

There are some really nasty people on these boards. I don’t think that’s a nice way to let someone down. Don’t you want to raise your kids to be kind?

This is fine, until you have the really persistent person that tries to get around every "gentle" reason she comes up with. She doesn't actually owe him an explanation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"No thanks." She doesn't owe him a reason why. If she wants, she can (quietly, so as not to embarrass him) say "I don't think we like each other in the same way."

But "No" is actually a complete sentence.

There are some really nasty people on these boards. I don’t think that’s a nice way to let someone down. Don’t you want to raise your kids to be kind?

This is fine, until you have the really persistent person that tries to get around every "gentle" reason she comes up with. She doesn't actually owe him an explanation.

I bet your kids are bullies. If she told him she’s going with someone else he obviously won’t ask her again. It’s just a nicer way of letting someone down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"No thanks." She doesn't owe him a reason why. If she wants, she can (quietly, so as not to embarrass him) say "I don't think we like each other in the same way."

But "No" is actually a complete sentence.

There are some really nasty people on these boards. I don’t think that’s a nice way to let someone down. Don’t you want to raise your kids to be kind?

I want to raise my kids to protect themselves FIRST, and be kind SECOND. As a feminist, I hate when a woman (or girl) turns down a guy by saying "I already have a boyfriend/date" because to me that's like saying "I'm already owned by someone else." And that encourages a man to respect another MAN rather than to respect a woman who simply says "No thank you." Women do NOT owe reasons why when they turn down men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"No thanks." She doesn't owe him a reason why. If she wants, she can (quietly, so as not to embarrass him) say "I don't think we like each other in the same way."

But "No" is actually a complete sentence.

There are some really nasty people on these boards. I don’t think that’s a nice way to let someone down. Don’t you want to raise your kids to be kind?

I want to raise my kids to protect themselves FIRST, and be kind SECOND. As a feminist, I hate when a woman (or girl) turns down a guy by saying "I already have a boyfriend/date" because to me that's like saying "I'm already owned by someone else." And that encourages a man to respect another MAN rather than to respect a woman who simply says "No thank you." Women do NOT owe reasons why when they turn down men.

Oh Jesus, pipe down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"No thanks." She doesn't owe him a reason why. If she wants, she can (quietly, so as not to embarrass him) say "I don't think we like each other in the same way."

But "No" is actually a complete sentence.

There are some really nasty people on these boards. I don’t think that’s a nice way to let someone down. Don’t you want to raise your kids to be kind?

I want to raise my kids to protect themselves FIRST, and be kind SECOND. As a feminist, I hate when a woman (or girl) turns down a guy by saying "I already have a boyfriend/date" because to me that's like saying "I'm already owned by someone else." And that encourages a man to respect another MAN rather than to respect a woman who simply says "No thank you." Women do NOT owe reasons why when they turn down men.