How to kindly turn down hocom ask?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"No thanks." She doesn't owe him a reason why. If she wants, she can (quietly, so as not to embarrass him) say "I don't think we like each other in the same way."

But "No" is actually a complete sentence.

There are some really nasty people on these boards. I don’t think that’s a nice way to let someone down. Don’t you want to raise your kids to be kind?

+1 mom of 0 boys and 2 DDs

in real life, I don't think I've ever been in a conversation where someone has said "No." and that's it. What do you do next, stare at each other? If this PP actually has actually followed her own advice, I doubt she has many friends. "No is a complete sentence" is just BS. I do get the intent of the PP. But having the *right* to say no doesn't mean you shove it in some poor boy's face.

I think she should say something like, "Larlo, thank you for asking me. I was already planning to go with Jack, but we hadn't added up so I had to go figure it out. So I just wanted to thank you and let you know. I know it's awkward but I appreciate your asking me."

(so just verbalizing the awkwardness makes it much better between the two of them)

By the way, OP, that your DD said "I'll think about it" when caught off-guard like that is a skill that is hard to learn (because when caught off guard, one's brain tends to not work well.) I'm impressed that she said this!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"No thanks." She doesn't owe him a reason why. If she wants, she can (quietly, so as not to embarrass him) say "I don't think we like each other in the same way."

But "No" is actually a complete sentence.

There are some really nasty people on these boards. I don’t think that’s a nice way to let someone down. Don’t you want to raise your kids to be kind?

+1 mom of 0 boys and 2 DDs

in real life, I don't think I've ever been in a conversation where someone has said "No." and that's it. What do you do next, stare at each other? If this PP actually has actually followed her own advice, I doubt she has many friends. "No is a complete sentence" is just BS. I do get the intent of the PP. But having the *right* to say no doesn't mean you shove it in some poor boy's face.

I think she should say something like, "Larlo, thank you for asking me. I was already planning to go with Jack, but we hadn't added up so I had to go figure it out. So I just wanted to thank you and let you know. I know it's awkward but I appreciate your asking me."

(so just verbalizing the awkwardness makes it much better between the two of them)

By the way, OP, that your DD said "I'll think about it" when caught off-guard like that is a skill that is hard to learn (because when caught off guard, one's brain tends to not work well.) I'm impressed that she said this!

I agree … this is the nicest response I've seen. Say something like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“Hocom ask?” Speak like an adult. You sound ridiculous.

Correcting other peoples' casual speak - more ridiculous. Find a hobby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“Hocom ask?” Speak like an adult. You sound ridiculous.

I'm sorry someone pissed in your coffee.
I hope your day gets better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She is a senior!! Why are you doing this for her?

SHe asked because she did not know how to respond. I'm glad she asked for help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"No thanks." She doesn't owe him a reason why. If she wants, she can (quietly, so as not to embarrass him) say "I don't think we like each other in the same way."

But "No" is actually a complete sentence.

There are some really nasty people on these boards. I don’t think that’s a nice way to let someone down. Don’t you want to raise your kids to be kind?

+1 mom of 0 boys and 2 DDs

in real life, I don't think I've ever been in a conversation where someone has said "No." and that's it. What do you do next, stare at each other? If this PP actually has actually followed her own advice, I doubt she has many friends. "No is a complete sentence" is just BS. I do get the intent of the PP. But having the *right* to say no doesn't mean you shove it in some poor boy's face.

I think she should say something like, "Larlo, thank you for asking me. I was already planning to go with Jack, but we hadn't added up so I had to go figure it out. So I just wanted to thank you and let you know. I know it's awkward but I appreciate your asking me."

(so just verbalizing the awkwardness makes it much better between the two of them)

By the way, OP, that your DD said "I'll think about it" when caught off-guard like that is a skill that is hard to learn (because when caught off guard, one's brain tends to not work well.) I'm impressed that she said this!

I agree … this is the nicest response I've seen. Say something like this.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"No thanks." She doesn't owe him a reason why. If she wants, she can (quietly, so as not to embarrass him) say "I don't think we like each other in the same way."

But "No" is actually a complete sentence.

There are some really nasty people on these boards. I don’t think that’s a nice way to let someone down. Don’t you want to raise your kids to be kind?

+1 mom of 0 boys and 2 DDs

in real life, I don't think I've ever been in a conversation where someone has said "No." and that's it. What do you do next, stare at each other? If this PP actually has actually followed her own advice, I doubt she has many friends. "No is a complete sentence" is just BS. I do get the intent of the PP. But having the *right* to say no doesn't mean you shove it in some poor boy's face.

I think she should say something like, "Larlo, thank you for asking me. I was already planning to go with Jack, but we hadn't added up so I had to go figure it out. So I just wanted to thank you and let you know. I know it's awkward but I appreciate your asking me."

(so just verbalizing the awkwardness makes it much better between the two of them)

By the way, OP, that your DD said "I'll think about it" when caught off-guard like that is a skill that is hard to learn (because when caught off guard, one's brain tends to not work well.) I'm impressed that she said this!

I agree … this is the nicest response I've seen. Say something like this.

Why should she say she appreciates him asking? She doesn’t seem like she does. They’re not friends. It seems like that would encourage him more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"No thanks." She doesn't owe him a reason why. If she wants, she can (quietly, so as not to embarrass him) say "I don't think we like each other in the same way."

But "No" is actually a complete sentence.

No. No is not a complete sentence. It is a simple interjection or declarative. Sentences have both a subject and a predicate. The shortest sentence is English is “I am.” As in, “ I am sorry you are a moron who failed English and still wonder why you were never asked on a date.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"No thanks." She doesn't owe him a reason why. If she wants, she can (quietly, so as not to embarrass him) say "I don't think we like each other in the same way."

But "No" is actually a complete sentence.

No. No is not a complete sentence. It is a simple interjection or declarative. Sentences have both a subject and a predicate. The shortest sentence is English is “I am.” As in, “ I am sorry you are a moron who failed English and still wonder why you were never asked on a date.”

The following can all be answered with "No."

Is it raining out?
Are you going to the movie tomorrow?
Did you like the movie?
Can you pick up that rock?
WILL YOU GO TO HOMECOMING WITH ME?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"No thanks." She doesn't owe him a reason why. If she wants, she can (quietly, so as not to embarrass him) say "I don't think we like each other in the same way."

But "No" is actually a complete sentence.

There are some really nasty people on these boards. I don’t think that’s a nice way to let someone down. Don’t you want to raise your kids to be kind?

+1 mom of 0 boys and 2 DDs

in real life, I don't think I've ever been in a conversation where someone has said "No." and that's it. What do you do next, stare at each other? If this PP actually has actually followed her own advice, I doubt she has many friends. "No is a complete sentence" is just BS. I do get the intent of the PP. But having the *right* to say no doesn't mean you shove it in some poor boy's face.

I think she should say something like, "Larlo, thank you for asking me. I was already planning to go with Jack, but we hadn't added up so I had to go figure it out. So I just wanted to thank you and let you know. I know it's awkward but I appreciate your asking me."

(so just verbalizing the awkwardness makes it much better between the two of them)

By the way, OP, that your DD said "I'll think about it" when caught off-guard like that is a skill that is hard to learn (because when caught off guard, one's brain tends to not work well.) I'm impressed that she said this!

Way too long-winded and he doesn't need to know who she would have preferred to go with. A simple, "Thank you for asking me, but I won't be able to go with you" is enough. If he asks why, then she can say "I don't think we like each other the same way."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"No thanks." She doesn't owe him a reason why. If she wants, she can (quietly, so as not to embarrass him) say "I don't think we like each other in the same way."

But "No" is actually a complete sentence.

No. No is not a complete sentence. It is a simple interjection or declarative. Sentences have both a subject and a predicate. The shortest sentence is English is “I am.” As in, “ I am sorry you are a moron who failed English and still wonder why you were never asked on a date.”

The following can all be answered with "No."

Is it raining out?
Are you going to the movie tomorrow?
Did you like the movie?
Can you pick up that rock?
WILL YOU GO TO HOMECOMING WITH ME?

True. And many others as well. The utility of “No” does not magically make it a sentence. No?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"No thanks." She doesn't owe him a reason why. If she wants, she can (quietly, so as not to embarrass him) say "I don't think we like each other in the same way."

But "No" is actually a complete sentence.

No. No is not a complete sentence. It is a simple interjection or declarative. Sentences have both a subject and a predicate. The shortest sentence is English is “I am.” As in, “ I am sorry you are a moron who failed English and still wonder why you were never asked on a date.”

The following can all be answered with "No."

Is it raining out?
Are you going to the movie tomorrow?
Did you like the movie?
Can you pick up that rock?
WILL YOU GO TO HOMECOMING WITH ME?

If that were the case, the answering person would be a total dick. I suppose if it is your goal to be perceived that way, you should carry on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"No thanks." She doesn't owe him a reason why. If she wants, she can (quietly, so as not to embarrass him) say "I don't think we like each other in the same way."

But "No" is actually a complete sentence.

There are some really nasty people on these boards. I don’t think that’s a nice way to let someone down. Don’t you want to raise your kids to be kind?

+1 mom of 0 boys and 2 DDs

in real life, I don't think I've ever been in a conversation where someone has said "No." and that's it. What do you do next, stare at each other? If this PP actually has actually followed her own advice, I doubt she has many friends. "No is a complete sentence" is just BS. I do get the intent of the PP. But having the *right* to say no doesn't mean you shove it in some poor boy's face.

I think she should say something like, "Larlo, thank you for asking me. I was already planning to go with Jack, but we hadn't added up so I had to go figure it out. So I just wanted to thank you and let you know. I know it's awkward but I appreciate your asking me."

(so just verbalizing the awkwardness makes it much better between the two of them)

By the way, OP, that your DD said "I'll think about it" when caught off-guard like that is a skill that is hard to learn (because when caught off guard, one's brain tends to not work well.) I'm impressed that she said this!

Way too long-winded and he doesn't need to know who she would have preferred to go with. A simple, "Thank you for asking me, but I won't be able to go with you" is enough. If he asks why, then she can say "I don't think we like each other the same way."

Disagree because it's smart for her say who she is going with, because "Jack" also asked her and she is going with him. So saying this is a little awkward, but it avoids the bigger awkward moment for both of these kids when "Larlo" sees her at the dance with Jack. Larlo will already know and won't be surprised, and she won't be worried about what Larlo will do when he sees her with Jack. It just makes the homecoming night involve less surprises.

It's just easing the situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"No thanks." She doesn't owe him a reason why. If she wants, she can (quietly, so as not to embarrass him) say "I don't think we like each other in the same way."

But "No" is actually a complete sentence.

There are some really nasty people on these boards. I don’t think that’s a nice way to let someone down. Don’t you want to raise your kids to be kind?

I want to raise my kids to protect themselves FIRST, and be kind SECOND. As a feminist, I hate when a woman (or girl) turns down a guy by saying "I already have a boyfriend/date" because to me that's like saying "I'm already owned by someone else." And that encourages a man to respect another MAN rather than to respect a woman who simply says "No thank you." Women do NOT owe reasons why when they turn down men.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"No thanks." She doesn't owe him a reason why. If she wants, she can (quietly, so as not to embarrass him) say "I don't think we like each other in the same way."

But "No" is actually a complete sentence.

There are some really nasty people on these boards. I don’t think that’s a nice way to let someone down. Don’t you want to raise your kids to be kind?

+1 mom of 0 boys and 2 DDs

in real life, I don't think I've ever been in a conversation where someone has said "No." and that's it. What do you do next, stare at each other? If this PP actually has actually followed her own advice, I doubt she has many friends. "No is a complete sentence" is just BS. I do get the intent of the PP. But having the *right* to say no doesn't mean you shove it in some poor boy's face.

I think she should say something like, "Larlo, thank you for asking me. I was already planning to go with Jack, but we hadn't added up so I had to go figure it out. So I just wanted to thank you and let you know. I know it's awkward but I appreciate your asking me."

(so just verbalizing the awkwardness makes it much better between the two of them)

By the way, OP, that your DD said "I'll think about it" when caught off-guard like that is a skill that is hard to learn (because when caught off guard, one's brain tends to not work well.) I'm impressed that she said this!

Way too long-winded and he doesn't need to know who she would have preferred to go with. A simple, "Thank you for asking me, but I won't be able to go with you" is enough. If he asks why, then she can say "I don't think we like each other the same way."

Disagree because it's smart for her say who she is going with, because "Jack" also asked her and she is going with him. So saying this is a little awkward, but it avoids the bigger awkward moment for both of these kids when "Larlo" sees her at the dance with Jack. Larlo will already know and won't be surprised, and she won't be worried about what Larlo will do when he sees her with Jack. It just makes the homecoming night involve less surprises.

It's just easing the situation.

She is not responsible for the surprise of Larlo.