Can someone explain the mindset of a cheater?

[Anonymous]

If you can do it without getting caught, then there's no harm done.

And divorce is messy, complicated and expensive. Particularly if you have kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you can do it without getting caught, then there's no harm done.

And divorce is messy, complicated and expensive. Particularly if you have kids.

That’s true you only have the black tarnish on your soul if you don’t get caught. Best not to burden others with that, carry that burden alone along with all of the trimmings. To each their own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you can do it without getting caught, then there's no harm done.

And divorce is messy, complicated and expensive. Particularly if you have kids.

That’s true you only have the black tarnish on your soul if you don’t get caught. Best not to burden others with that, carry that burden alone along with all of the trimmings. To each their own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ so why do women need dating apps to find affair partners? Are they that undesirable they can’t find anyone in real life? Women can just find anyone. I guess just the total losers are on the apps.

Yep. Dregs at the bottom of the barrel.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you can do it without getting caught, then there's no harm done.

And divorce is messy, complicated and expensive. Particularly if you have kids.

That’s true you only have [/b]the black tarnish on your soul [b]if you don’t get caught. Best not to burden others with that, carry that burden alone along with all of the trimmings. To each their own.

And blisters on the genitals and HPV on the cervix

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you can do it without getting caught, then there's no harm done.

And divorce is messy, complicated and expensive. Particularly if you have kids.

So untrue.

And, they will always eventually get caught over time.

Ask them how that turned out for them and their kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you can do it without getting caught, then there's no harm done.

And divorce is messy, complicated and expensive. Particularly if you have kids.

So untrue.

And, they will always eventually get caught over time.

Ask them how that turned out for them and their kids?

Cheated for over 10 years with just over 20 women. Never got caught. Only one of the women got caught. Still in touch with some of them. For many, it's a lifestyle they know how to manage. The new people get caught because they don't take the proper precautions. .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^ and father, grandfather had same behavior. It’s multigenerational. At 28 years old he swore up and down he would never turn out like them that he would never do that to his wife and kids. 49-years old. History repeats itself...should have known.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ and father, grandfather had same behavior. It’s multigenerational. At 28 years old he swore up and down he would never turn out like them that he would never do that to his wife and kids. 49-years old. History repeats itself...should have known.

This multigenerational thing makes sense, maybe not in all cases but in large number of the ones. A person who cheats in a marriage likely "cheats" in other spheres of life as well. It's a mentality and that will have an impact on the next generation as well. How you handle yourself under pressure, how you deal with difficult situations in marriage/life is what is transmitted to kids and even if they don't want to cheat, the behaviors are sub consciously absorbed. This is why kids of cheaters have higher chance of cheating themselves.

[Anonymous]

^^Multigenerational cheaters probably choose women like their moms, taking on the same relationship problems of the parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you can do it without getting caught, then there's no harm done.

And divorce is messy, complicated and expensive. Particularly if you have kids.

So untrue.

And, they will always eventually get caught over time.

Ask them how that turned out for them and their kids?

Cheated for over 10 years with just over 20 women. Never got caught. Only one of the women got caught. Still in touch with some of them. For many, it's a lifestyle they know how to manage. The new people get caught because they don't take the proper precautions. .

Be honest. You feel no guilt at all?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have never understood the emotional and intellectual circumstances that compel someone to have sex with someone who is not their significant other. The part I particularly don't understand is that they obviously know that sex outside of their relationship is not ok. They know it would mean the death of their relationship or in the least create significant problems for the foreseeable future. They know the lying and sneaking and betrayal will crush and devastated their partner.

Then...why do they do it? If they are out of love with their significant other, why do they not just end the relationship or take steps to do it? Then they can freely go and find someone else.

Sex is sex, and it's not a marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you can do it without getting caught, then there's no harm done.

And divorce is messy, complicated and expensive. Particularly if you have kids.

So untrue.

And, they will always eventually get caught over time.

Ask them how that turned out for them and their kids?

Cheated for over 10 years with just over 20 women. Never got caught. Only one of the women got caught. Still in touch with some of them. For many, it's a lifestyle they know how to manage. The new people get caught because they don't take the proper precautions. .

Be honest. You feel no guilt at all?

Cheating wife here. Do you think my husband feels guilty that I do everything at home and for the kids yet make more money? No I can tell you right now he feels no guilt. He says,"You're the one who wanted kids." He is not going to be guilted into being an equal partner so why should I feel guilty? Honestly, so long as he gets his weekly 15 minute sex why should he care what I do the rest of the time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you can do it without getting caught, then there's no harm done.

And divorce is messy, complicated and expensive. Particularly if you have kids.

So untrue.

And, they will always eventually get caught over time.

Ask them how that turned out for them and their kids?

I cheated for over 8 years and never got caught.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you can do it without getting caught, then there's no harm done.

And divorce is messy, complicated and expensive. Particularly if you have kids.

So untrue.

And, they will always eventually get caught over time.

Ask them how that turned out for them and their kids?

Cheated for over 10 years with just over 20 women. Never got caught. Only one of the women got caught. Still in touch with some of them. For many, it's a lifestyle they know how to manage. The new people get caught because they don't take the proper precautions. .

Be honest. You feel no guilt at all?

Cheating wife here. Do you think my husband feels guilty that I do everything at home and for the kids yet make more money? No I can tell you right now he feels no guilt. He says,"You're the one who wanted kids." He is not going to be guilted into being an equal partner so why should I feel guilty? Honestly, so long as he gets his weekly 15 minute sex why should he care what I do the rest of the time?

PP here. Thank you for your response, but you did not answer my question. I'm asking you: Do you feel guilty about cheating in your marriage? It sounds like you do, as your defensive justification implies. I'm not judging you, nor am I shaming you. That is different from literally answering the question. Do you feel guilty?

Also, are you the PP that cheated for over 10 years with over 20 women? Because my question is specifically directed to that poster.