| Just found out I was the other woman when we met. He had a girlfriend of about a year when we met. He was seeing her until after our first date and then he broke up with her. I had zero clue about her then, and he apparently never thought to bring it up until I read him that stupid boyfriend/girlfriend thread. I think what’s bothering me most is 14 years later he doesn’t think he did anything wrong. His excuse is “ we weren’t married and he was young“ and when I pointed out he wasn’t that young ( 30 ) and that I never overlapped even when young, he just said “ it’s a guy thing “ and he “ never did it other times”. Like that was supposed to make me feel special! I asked him if he would have ended if he hadn’t met me and he just shrugged. He doesn’t see why I’m upset and thinks I’m being silly. because it was so long ago and we’re happy together and have a life and family together, which is true. But if it was no big deal why didn’t he tell me years ago? Plus this changes our whole story which I always thought was cute. So am I being ridiculous ? I’m not making him sleep on the couch or anything. I’m just mad. |
| I think you are being ridiculous. |
| OP, you are being VERY ridiculous |
| OP, you’re being SUPER DUPER ridiculous. Get off the internet and go read a book. Oh, and grow up. You sound like you’re in high school. |
| I’d be a bit bummed initially, then flattered. |
| I disagree with over lapping but I think you are being ridiculous. |
+ 1 |
| They were dating....get over it. |
Probably because he knew you'd fly into an absurd hysterical tizzy just like you are doing right now. |
| I mean, I wouldn’t like it but it was so long ago, I have too much other stuff going on to care. |
| He met you, went on one date, and dropped the other woman and you are upset? You should be flattered. |
Are you that bored that you are just making up sh*t to pass the time tonight?
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| I'd be annoyed. But then you have to let it go. I've had similar "breaches of trust" by dh. He has failed to fully tell me things ... Such as ... He told me his girlfriend cheated on him, but he didn't tell me he'd then cheated on her. And that his "best friend" was also an (ex)FWB. But what am i going to do 15 years later? Nothing. |
| I’d be annoyed. People who cheat have character deficiencies. Not sure what I’d do - maybe nothing in consideration of the 14 years since, but I’d never be able to get it out of my mind. If he rationalized it once, I would always be thinking he could rationalize it again. |
| Broke up with her after one date with you? I wouldn’t think of that as cheating. Maybe not ideal, but not the same as cheating. |