My mom laughed when I told her my son choked at daycare

[Anonymous]

The heading pretty much explains it.

My son choked at daycare - daycare workers needed to do backblows to dislodge a piece of pear. He’s 14 months. We ended up taking him to Children’s for a feeding evaluation. The diagnosis is he chews just fine - he just puts too much food in his mouth and we need to work on modifying his behavior.

I was recounting the above to my parents, when my mom starts laughing hysterically. I told her it wasn’t funny - it was serious. My mom continues laughing, while my dad interjects that “it’s not really a big deal and he’ll [son] be fine.”

They are coming for Christmas tomorrow and basically I don’t even want to see them. Laughing?!?

[Anonymous]

Did she explain why she laughed? Did she apologize? Does she have a history of inappropriate behavior?

[Anonymous]

It's your mom. I imagine this isn't the first time you've interacted with her. Your son is fine.

If you have an otherwise non-toxic relationship, this wouldn't bother me.

[Anonymous]

Has she otherwise exhibited symptoms of inappropriate affect? Google it - she may not have been able to help it.

[Anonymous]

1. Because such incidents happen often in young children and with supervision like you describe they are fine. It happened multiple times with both my kids, for the reason you lay out for DD, and because DS has an ultra-sensitive gag reflex.

2. Because sometimes when something scary happens, people laugh. It's a documented reaction.

3. Let it go, OP.

[Anonymous]

Wow. That reaction is truly appalling. I would not leave your son alone with them for a second. At best their judgement and critical thinking skills are impaired. At worst they have a real mean streak.

I'm glad that your son is o.k., Op. Were your parents like this when you were growing up?

[Anonymous]

This happens to me sometimes with my parents. I think over the phone it's hard to convey how serious you are - or are not - taking something. So she didn't gauge your correctly, and then dug in when you got upset. At least, that what my mom would have done.

It's annoying, but this too shall pass.

[Anonymous]

OP, here. She didn’t explain why she laughed and she didn’t apologize. And she has a history of inappropriate behavior, but no diagnosis or anything.

We pretty much have a toxic relationship. I basically hate her because instead of saying “wow, that must have been scary,” or “good luck, keep me updating,” she laughs. And when I say “that’s not funny,” she will keep laughing.

[Anonymous]

Maybe that is her nervous reaction? Why was it surprising this time?

But really OP, this wasn’t serious. Age appropriate behavior. Kids do this all the tine and why you have to watch them while they eat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow. That reaction is truly appalling. I would not leave your son alone with them for a second. At best their judgement and critical thinking skills are impaired. At worst they have a real mean streak.

I'm glad that your son is o.k., Op. Were your parents like this when you were growing up?

Holy overboard.

Sometimes people laugh at inappropriate times. It is a nervous response. It doesn't mean they are malicious, or that they can't be trusted. It's really difficult to judge the situation over the internet.

[Anonymous]

You did a feeding evaluation because of one incident of choking on a piece of pear?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. That reaction is truly appalling. I would not leave your son alone with them for a second. At best their judgement and critical thinking skills are impaired. At worst they have a real mean streak.

I'm glad that your son is o.k., Op. Were your parents like this when you were growing up?

Holy overboard.

Sometimes people laugh at inappropriate times. It is a nervous response. It doesn't mean they are malicious, or that they can't be trusted. It's really difficult to judge the situation over the internet.

Their grandson choked and had to be evaluated at the hospital. Their response was to laugh hysterically and tell Op that it "wasn't a big deal". Nope, they would not be watching my child even for a second.

[Anonymous]

Some people react really inappropriately to bad or shocking news and can not control it. It doesn’t necessarily mean that she thinks it’s funny that your kid choked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, here. She didn’t explain why she laughed and she didn’t apologize. And she has a history of inappropriate behavior, but no diagnosis or anything.

We pretty much have a toxic relationship. I basically hate her because instead of saying “wow, that must have been scary,” or “good luck, keep me updating,” she laughs. And when I say “that’s not funny,” she will keep laughing.

And you are hosting these people for the holidays starting tomorrow? Why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe that is her nervous reaction? Why was it surprising this time?

But really OP, this wasn’t serious. Age appropriate behavior. Kids do this all the tine and why you have to watch them while they eat.

This--if she often laughs inappropriately, then you know that is her reaction. Maybe it's how she reacts when she's nervous. Maybe it's what she does to avoid getting anxious. Whatever, you know she does this and you're freaking out about it--why, exactly? Who cares?

Your son is fine, and I would probably laugh (internally) at a parent who had a feeding evaluation done on a toddler who choked once. It happens. Kids put too much in their mouths or they don't chew enough. You keep an eye on them until they get better at it.