My mom laughed when I told her my son choked at daycare

[Anonymous]

You're doing a great job, OP-Mommy. Ignore the haters. It's important to have things checked out when the potential harm is so high. I would keep your distance from your parents too, if at all possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, here. I guess I feel the need to defend myself a bit here. My son’s been having issues with feeding - gagging, choking, hard swallows, coughing - for the past 8 months (as in, when he started solids). The daycare has catered meals; he already had a designated lunch buddy (an adult who sits with him while he eats) and had been getting food that is chopped in smaller pieces than his same-age peers. So after he got a piece of pear the size of a Cheerio lodged in his throat, his pediatrician suggested he get a feeding evaluation done. A SLP with extra training in feeding issues (swallowing, chewing, moving the tongue) does the evaluation. It turned out his mouth skills are fine, but I don’t think I overreacted by taking this seriously.

As a side note, I got married and had him in my late thirties. It’s looking like we won’t be able to have another child. And I think that pain, in combination with “trying to keep a toddler alive” is making me more sensitive.

On the other hand, my parents have a history of invalidating and minimizing my feelings and experiences. This interaction just felt different because they were minimizing what happened to my child.

You sound like a drama queen, so it is no wonder they have a history of invalidating and minimizing your feelings and experiences. No doubt they are fed up. Plus, apart from choking part, needy baby greedy baby, you and your kid together! He is choking because he is greedy with food. Again, APART FROM CHOKING the whole thing is funny. Feed training because he stuffs too much. take charge and feed the kid yourself, do not let him stuff his mouth until he is older. You are overreacting to everything, no doubt. Do you know who says something like invalidating my feelings? Insane people, you are insane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, here. I guess I feel the need to defend myself a bit here. My son’s been having issues with feeding - gagging, choking, hard swallows, coughing - for the past 8 months (as in, when he started solids). The daycare has catered meals; he already had a designated lunch buddy (an adult who sits with him while he eats) and had been getting food that is chopped in smaller pieces than his same-age peers. So after he got a piece of pear the size of a Cheerio lodged in his throat, his pediatrician suggested he get a feeding evaluation done. A SLP with extra training in feeding issues (swallowing, chewing, moving the tongue) does the evaluation. It turned out his mouth skills are fine, but I don’t think I overreacted by taking this seriously.

As a side note, I got married and had him in my late thirties. It’s looking like we won’t be able to have another child. And I think that pain, in combination with “trying to keep a toddler alive” is making me more sensitive.

On the other hand, my parents have a history of invalidating and minimizing my feelings and experiences. This interaction just felt different because they were minimizing what happened to my child.

You sound like a drama queen, so it is no wonder they have a history of invalidating and minimizing your feelings and experiences. No doubt they are fed up. Plus, apart from choking part, needy baby greedy baby, you and your kid together! He is choking because he is greedy with food. Again, APART FROM CHOKING the whole thing is funny. Feed training because he stuffs too much. take charge and feed the kid yourself, do not let him stuff his mouth until he is older. You are overreacting to everything, no doubt. Do you know who says something like invalidating my feelings? Insane people, you are insane.

Whoa! The toddler is 2 years old. What's your excuse pp?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, here. She didn’t explain why she laughed and she didn’t apologize. And she has a history of inappropriate behavior, but no diagnosis or anything.

We pretty much have a toxic relationship. I basically hate her because instead of saying “wow, that must have been scary,” or “good luck, keep me updating,” she laughs. And when I say “that’s not funny,” she will keep laughing.

Limit contact, OP. She'll never get it, and you shouldn't have to put up with that too often.

[Anonymous]

Ok, so a lot of people laugh when they're uncomfortable about something. It's like how if I told you, "Oh, he got his head chopped off by a truck," you might laugh even though it's horrific.

Also, though, the reaction of "he'll be fine" isn't totally unusual. My FIL used to be a volunteer EMT and when DD has gagged on things, he has been completely calm, saying "as long as she's still coughing, she's fine. Let her work through it." We are significantly more freaked out about it than he is because he knows the signs of choking vs gagging. I don't know if your parents have that background, but if they do that might be shaping their reaction.

[Anonymous]

Your mom was probably laughing at how freaked out you are about one small incident.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it is ridiculous to do a feeding eval at a hospital based on this. And basically the hospital told you it wasn’t an issue. I think your mom probably laughed at what the hospital told you and likely thinks you are paranoid. I would laugh if someone told me they reacted like this to a mild choke. Like I laugh at people who go to the ER because they have a cold or stub a toe.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You did a feeding evaluation because of one incident of choking on a piece of pear?

I stopped for a second at that, too.

Maybe that's what got your mom.

He's 14 months. It isn't even about modifying his behavior, it's about him learning to eat properly. Like most every other child out there.

[Anonymous]

My coworker’s rabbit died under anesthesia having an MRI done because the rabbit may have had a dental issue. And to add insult to injury, she still had to pay the vet $1,600. I did not laugh at my coworker because I wouldn’t pay $1,600 for a rabbit’s MRI for some tooth issue. I listed to her and tried to comfort her because she was upset. Make sense?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You did a feeding evaluation because of one incident of choking on a piece of pear?

I stopped for a second at that, too.

Maybe that's what got your mom.

He's 14 months. It isn't even about modifying his behavior, it's about him learning to eat properly. Like most every other child out there.

Op has explained that her son had a history of gagging. Daycare had mentioned these types of incidents in the past. The latest choking incident which required the daycare worker to swat Op's son on the back a few times in order to dislodge the piece of pear from his windpipe prompted Op to take her son to the pediatrician. The pediatrician recommended getting the feeding evaluation done.

There is absolutely nothing Ha Ha funny about what Op and her little boy have been through. The daycare was concerned enough to report the incident to Op and the pediatrician thought that it was significant enough to require a feeding evaluation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, here. I guess I feel the need to defend myself a bit here. My son’s been having issues with feeding - gagging, choking, hard swallows, coughing - for the past 8 months (as in, when he started solids). The daycare has catered meals; he already had a designated lunch buddy (an adult who sits with him while he eats) and had been getting food that is chopped in smaller pieces than his same-age peers. So after he got a piece of pear the size of a Cheerio lodged in his throat, his pediatrician suggested he get a feeding evaluation done. A SLP with extra training in feeding issues (swallowing, chewing, moving the tongue) does the evaluation. It turned out his mouth skills are fine, but I don’t think I overreacted by taking this seriously.

As a side note, I got married and had him in my late thirties. It’s looking like we won’t be able to have another child. And I think that pain, in combination with “trying to keep a toddler alive” is making me more sensitive.

On the other hand, my parents have a history of invalidating and minimizing my feelings and experiences. This interaction just felt different because they were minimizing what happened to my child.

You sound like a drama queen, so it is no wonder they have a history of invalidating and minimizing your feelings and experiences. No doubt they are fed up. Plus, apart from choking part, needy baby greedy baby, you and your kid together! He is choking because he is greedy with food. Again, APART FROM CHOKING the whole thing is funny. Feed training because he stuffs too much. take charge and feed the kid yourself, do not let him stuff his mouth until he is older. You are overreacting to everything, no doubt. Do you know who says something like invalidating my feelings? Insane people, you are insane.

Whoa! The toddler is 2 years old. What's your excuse pp?

But OP is over 40. What is her excuse? Too much Oprah? Oprah is not real life. Invalidating my feelings, my something. Her parents are well over 60, most likely 70, no doubt they had enough of OP's drama and can't tell anymore what is made up and what is real. Don't pretend you don't know these kind of women, we all know them. Anything with them and their kids is blown out of proportion. Where was the EMT, the Fire Department in this situation? Serious choking episode would have involved them. No mention. I feel for her poor parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, here. I guess I feel the need to defend myself a bit here. My son’s been having issues with feeding - gagging, choking, hard swallows, coughing - for the past 8 months (as in, when he started solids). The daycare has catered meals; he already had a designated lunch buddy (an adult who sits with him while he eats) and had been getting food that is chopped in smaller pieces than his same-age peers. So after he got a piece of pear the size of a Cheerio lodged in his throat, his pediatrician suggested he get a feeding evaluation done. A SLP with extra training in feeding issues (swallowing, chewing, moving the tongue) does the evaluation. It turned out his mouth skills are fine, but I don’t think I overreacted by taking this seriously.

As a side note, I got married and had him in my late thirties. It’s looking like we won’t be able to have another child. And I think that pain, in combination with “trying to keep a toddler alive” is making me more sensitive.

On the other hand, my parents have a history of invalidating and minimizing my feelings and experiences. This interaction just felt different because they were minimizing what happened to my child.

You sound like a drama queen, so it is no wonder they have a history of invalidating and minimizing your feelings and experiences. No doubt they are fed up. Plus, apart from choking part, needy baby greedy baby, you and your kid together! He is choking because he is greedy with food. Again, APART FROM CHOKING the whole thing is funny. Feed training because he stuffs too much. take charge and feed the kid yourself, do not let him stuff his mouth until he is older. You are overreacting to everything, no doubt. Do you know who says something like invalidating my feelings? Insane people, you are insane.

Whoa! The toddler is 2 years old. What's your excuse pp?

But OP is over 40. What is her excuse? Too much Oprah? Oprah is not real life. Invalidating my feelings, my something. Her parents are well over 60, most likely 70, no doubt they had enough of OP's drama and can't tell anymore what is made up and what is real. Don't pretend you don't know these kind of women, we all know them. Anything with them and their kids is blown out of proportion. Where was the EMT, the Fire Department in this situation? Serious choking episode would have involved them. No mention. I feel for her poor parents.

A daycare worker was concerned enough to smack the kid in the back to dislodge the obstruction. That daycare worker could very well have saved this little guy's life.

This was not the first incident of Op's son gagging.

Op did the absolute right thing in getting this checked out. If your own child is having repeated incidents like this - get it checked out because your kid will be DEAD by the time EMS gets there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow. That reaction is truly appalling. I would not leave your son alone with them for a second. At best their judgement and critical thinking skills are impaired. At worst they have a real mean streak.

I'm glad that your son is o.k., Op. Were your parents like this when you were growing up?

Oh shit, get a life

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You did a feeding evaluation because of one incident of choking on a piece of pear?

wow-- i was thinking the same thing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, here. I guess I feel the need to defend myself a bit here. My son’s been having issues with feeding - gagging, choking, hard swallows, coughing - for the past 8 months (as in, when he started solids). The daycare has catered meals; he already had a designated lunch buddy (an adult who sits with him while he eats) and had been getting food that is chopped in smaller pieces than his same-age peers. So after he got a piece of pear the size of a Cheerio lodged in his throat, his pediatrician suggested he get a feeding evaluation done. A SLP with extra training in feeding issues (swallowing, chewing, moving the tongue) does the evaluation. It turned out his mouth skills are fine, but I don’t think I overreacted by taking this seriously.

As a side note, I got married and had him in my late thirties. It’s looking like we won’t be able to have another child. And I think that pain, in combination with “trying to keep a toddler alive” is making me more sensitive.

On the other hand, my parents have a history of invalidating and minimizing my feelings and experiences. This interaction just felt different because they were minimizing what happened to my child.

Yep, married and had a kid later, multiple miscarriages...I get the disappointment...but you are sounding oversensitive. And yes I have a mom who laughs at every damn thing...she is otherwise a very caring and insightful person...she just has this reaction.
You need to lighten up