How to interpret a "no children" wedding invitation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would skip the wedding on principal. I get that the couple has the “right” to ban kids … but then I also have the right not to go.

^ Just ask what it means! You don't know if the bride and groom meant for no kids to mean no little kids or no older kids, or no one under 21 or no one under 18, or what.

How obtuse. The people who are invited are the ones with their names. On. The. Invitation.

Stoop wheedling, whining, negotiating, and feigning ignorance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our kids are teens -- 13 and 16. After twice delaying, our niece has finally settled on a wedding date in September. We bought the tickets, RSVPed, and tonight I was looking for her wedding registry when my eyes came accross their no-children policy: "Also, because our celebration will be at a brewery we request no children during the event. "

So... is this mean as nobody under 21? Nobody under 18? No young kids? yes for the older teen but no for the younger one?

The wedding is on the west coast, and it would be our first travel since covid. Kids are not in need of babysitting, but are old enough to be disappointed for not being able to attend their cousin's wedding. Not old enough to leave them home for a few days, but do we fly accross the States through the remains of the pandemics just for half the family to not be able to attend?

We have a large extended family, and have always cherished graduations, weddings or annual celebrations as ways to get together with loved ones. We have not had a chance to do any one of those things post covid, and this is a first event in our family. We are the youngest, and our children are the youngest among the cousins, all of whom are drinking age. So they will be, along with the younger generation of toddlers, the single ones of their cousins uninvited.

Would you politely decline?

No one under 21. It's at a brewery.

You can attend without your kids or you can politely decline. Whatever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ask. We had a weird situation where we weren't going to attend a family wedding because it was "no kids" but when the parents of the bride heard this, we were informed that kids within the close family could come. The couple was later among their friend group to marry so if everyone brought kids it would have been like a toddler daycare. We triple checked with the couple because we didn't want to appear presumptuous, and made it clear that we were fine either way, just wanted to clarify.

+1

+2

One of DH’s cousins was getting married and the invitation specified no kids at the reception. So, we went to the ceremony with our then 6, 4, and 2 year olds, and then started walking out to leave (they were at the same place, thankfully). The mother of the bride came running after us, asking where we were going and when we explained she laughed and said, “oh no, that was because we didn’t want the teenage cousins here getting drunk. Your kids are fine.” So we stayed and had fun.

Note: if it’s not family, I just wouldn’t go, period. But I think you have a little more leeway.

No, more than likely she felt awkward that you were leaving. Hopefully the MoB took responsibility if the bride & groom noticed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:An evening reception is no place for children anyway.

A 16 year old? What time do you think they go to bed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“No kids” family events are such dick moves.

Being so entitled as to think of a ceremony between two people as a “family event” is a dick move. Want a family reunion? Plan, organize and PAY FOR ONE, cheapskate.

In my extended family these are absolutely family events. Out of 16 cousins only one - the very youngest - had a “no kids” wedding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d ask. Nicely. No judgment or complaints.

Asking IS complaining. If the children were invited, their names would have been on the invitation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Brewery means no one under 21.

I've been to weddings at wineries where children are invited. I have gone to dinner at breweries with my children. There is really no reason to think that anyone under 21 is not allowed. It is odd to assume that "no children" means a 20 year old was not welcome to attend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“No kids” family events are such dick moves.

Being so entitled as to think of a ceremony between two people as a “family event” is a dick move. Want a family reunion? Plan, organize and PAY FOR ONE, cheapskate.

In my extended family these are absolutely family events. Out of 16 cousins only one - the very youngest - had a “no kids” wedding.

+1. I would consider booking somewhere nearby that tops the wedding venue for a fun family reunion the day before- you know because all the kids will already be there, but unable to actually attend the wedding

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d ask. Nicely. No judgment or complaints.

Asking IS complaining. If the children were invited, their names would have been on the invitation.

My god, are people really this fragile that they will crumble to dust if someone asks a question?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“No kids” family events are such dick moves.

Being so entitled as to think of a ceremony between two people as a “family event” is a dick move. Want a family reunion? Plan, organize and PAY FOR ONE, cheapskate.

In my extended family these are absolutely family events. Out of 16 cousins only one - the very youngest - had a “no kids” wedding.

It’s almost as if it’s up to the bride and groom. Hooray for you that most of you see them as family affairs, but that doesn’t make that universal, compulsory, or correct.

Good for your cousin for doing what she or he wanted to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d ask. Nicely. No judgment or complaints.

Asking IS complaining. If the children were invited, their names would have been on the invitation.

My god, are people really this fragile that they will crumble to dust if someone asks a question?

No more fragile than the idiots who just can’t handle their kids not being invited.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:An evening reception is no place for children anyway.

A 16 year old? What time do you think they go to bed?

It’s not about bedtime, moron, it’s about access to alcohol.

[Anonymous]

You should ask because no kids usually mean no toddlers or younger kids. Teenagers are usually OK. What makes the situation different is that it’s at a a brewery and I know some breweries don’t accept kids under 12, and some under 18 or 21. You are an odd situation so maybe just ask.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
If your kids are the only ones of the cousins who would be excluded, I wouldn’t go to this wedding. It sounds like a lot of work—flying cross country!—to rub it in their faces. Go on vacation as a family instead.

Not everything needs to be about your kids! It is not rubbing it in their faces to explain that some weddings, which are about the people getting married (not the kids in the extended family), do not include children, and this one is held in a brewery. Just tell the kids that the wedding is only for adults: this is a GOOD life lesson.

Huh? I’m the PP and I’m not suggesting she ask the bride and groom to change their event. I’m suggesting that she RSVP her regrets.

But she already rsvped yes! It’s rude to just not show up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:An evening reception is no place for children anyway.

A 16 year old? What time do you think they go to bed?

It’s not about bedtime, moron, it’s about access to alcohol.

I’d worry more about the 20 year olds than the 13 year olds if that’s the reason