Why do kids seem to be driving later than they used to "back in the day"?

[Anonymous]

My DS is 16 and it definitely takes more time and effort to get your license now. When I was 16, you could take driver's ed at age 15 and walk into the DMV on your 16th birthday to get your license. Now, my son needs to drive for something like 60 hrs with me. The earliest you can get a license is 16 and a half in MD. He's not in a big hurry because he knows he won't be getting his own car.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:From what I see its the parents and being too lazy to teach them.

LOL, I'm guessing you are not a parent at all.
My 2 teens have no interest. After taking drivers ed, they still don't want to drive. I have to force them to go out practicing with me or my husband.

I attribute it to them fighting growing up- on all levels. largely due to being lazy on electronics all day instead of interacting with the world (as a PP pointed out)
Teens do seem to have a 2-4 year delay of where us parents were growing up.
I had my license by 10am on my 16th bday, and drove daily thereafter, to work, downtown, malls. This would scare the heck out of my sheltered kids. I fight them daily to get out in the world, but they don't want to.

Yes, I am a parent. There are some things that are not optional and learning to drive is one of them. If they want to go somewhere they have to drive. Stop driving them and don't pay for uber. Yes, you force them.

For you. Learning to drive is not optional for you as a parent. I was happy with my kids walking, biking, taking the metro. I didn't chauffeur and if they wanted an uber they could pay for it (did it like a handful of times with friends). Safer, better for the environment, better for health, less expensive. We did the slow path of lots of permit practice driving with parents. DS got his license at 17.5, got a delivery job when he turned 18 and is a great driver. Absolutely no reason to force them earlier in my view--so many more important things to insist on.

[Anonymous]

My kids spend a lot of time gaming online and socializing with their friends that way instead of in person.
So less interest in driving to get together, I guess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids spend a lot of time gaming online and socializing with their friends that way instead of in person.
So less interest in driving to get together, I guess.

That is so sad. Do better as a parent. Like, damn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid's perfect world would be a car be can get into, tell it where he wants to go, and then sit back and scroll through social media while the car drives him where he wants to go. And I think he is not alone. This generation is ripe for self-driving cars.

Not my kids, but then again I didn't raise them to be like this either. Both of my teens got their licenses first day they could. I still limit screen time on their electronics, but I never limit face to face time, never limit driving, and always encourage independency.

The bolded is flat-out contradictory.

Anyhow, I think what you meant to say is that you are a control freak.

Didn’t we all not have phones or electronics and had parents who let us out of sight most of the day. Whether we made poor choices or great choices, teens were happier, more independent, had much less anxiety, mood disorders, depression, and suicide than when we were growing up. I am not sure why you are saying that curbing a teen’s screen time, but encouraging interaction is a control freak. I truly do not.

Lack of electronics is a positive. If you want to think you are being a good mom by letting them stare at screens 24/7 and then not letting them drive to “keep them safe” is about the laziest and worst parenting you can do. This group of kids just becoming teens are the first decade of teens that lived their whole lives with screens (smart phones/iPads) since infancy. As a teacher, I see a massive change in kids in just the last 5 years, and it is not for the better. They are introverted, have social anxiety, do not know how to even talk to adults or peers correctly, and think their worth is based on how popular they are on social media, which is about as fake as it gets. Even the graduates from 2018 and younger had probably 10X more social cues, street smarts, and autonomy than current high schoolers. I can tell you for the last 20 years in teaching, it has not gotten better. Bullying and hate is more secretive. That is about it. Most teens want parents that trust them, but set boundaries. Most parents are so busy on their own electronics, they are clueless how sad, lonely, and stressed their kids are. Their kid doesn’t want to drive, but rather sit at home all day on screens? That is a big red flag.

Bullying another mom who limits screens to make your inadequacies as a mom seem better is a whole different level of wow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids spend a lot of time gaming online and socializing with their friends that way instead of in person.
So less interest in driving to get together, I guess.

That is so sad. Do better as a parent. Like, damn.

With covid, its great.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid's perfect world would be a car be can get into, tell it where he wants to go, and then sit back and scroll through social media while the car drives him where he wants to go. And I think he is not alone. This generation is ripe for self-driving cars.

Not my kids, but then again I didn't raise them to be like this either. Both of my teens got their licenses first day they could. I still limit screen time on their electronics, but I never limit face to face time, never limit driving, and always encourage independency.

The bolded is flat-out contradictory.

Anyhow, I think what you meant to say is that you are a control freak.

Didn’t we all not have phones or electronics and had parents who let us out of sight most of the day. Whether we made poor choices or great choices, teens were happier, more independent, had much less anxiety, mood disorders, depression, and suicide than when we were growing up. I am not sure why you are saying that curbing a teen’s screen time, but encouraging interaction is a control freak. I truly do not.

Lack of electronics is a positive. If you want to think you are being a good mom by letting them stare at screens 24/7 and then not letting them drive to “keep them safe” is about the laziest and worst parenting you can do. This group of kids just becoming teens are the first decade of teens that lived their whole lives with screens (smart phones/iPads) since infancy. As a teacher, I see a massive change in kids in just the last 5 years, and it is not for the better. They are introverted, have social anxiety, do not know how to even talk to adults or peers correctly, and think their worth is based on how popular they are on social media, which is about as fake as it gets. Even the graduates from 2018 and younger had probably 10X more social cues, street smarts, and autonomy than current high schoolers. I can tell you for the last 20 years in teaching, it has not gotten better. Bullying and hate is more secretive. That is about it. Most teens want parents that trust them, but set boundaries. Most parents are so busy on their own electronics, they are clueless how sad, lonely, and stressed their kids are. Their kid doesn’t want to drive, but rather sit at home all day on screens? That is a big red flag.

Bullying another mom who limits screens to make your inadequacies as a mom seem better is a whole different level of wow.

Bullying? After your little nasty diatribes? That is a good bit of pot, kettle, black, I would say.

Whatever, you sound pretty messed up and strangely defensive tbh, so I'm not going engage too much, because I feel really sorry for you, but I will say this: you don't have to hover over their electronics and follow weirdly strict rules like kicking them out to get drivers licenses the day they turn 16 whether they want it or not, if you give your teen the trust and freedom to navigate their own paths. I have multiple teens in my house that don't have limits on electronics and also aren't addicted. They hold jobs, get good grades, take public transportation everywhere, and are good kids. I don't need to control them with an iron fist and monitor their electronics and force them to drive when they don't want to drive. Life with teens doesn't have to be as nasty and hard as you seem to think it should be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
+1. PP is mental. There’s nothing inherently better about driving. It’s a necessary evil and none of us would do it if we didn’t have to.

totally disagree. Driving= independence and exploring the world around you. It shows natural curiosity and growth. Being chauffeured in an Uber is Nothing like trying to navigate the streets to get yourself to a new location

Not when Daddy is paying for the car, insurance and gas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kids are infantilized now and 16 is about what 20 was for us.

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:my thoughts are it is because they no longer teach driver’s ed in school. When I was in school DE was a course that everybody took in their sophomore year of high school. And then you got your license. Nowadays there is no more school sponsored driver’s Ed so you have to go to iDrive Smart or Greg’s driving school, which cost money. If you don’t have the finances to do that, it’s just is not going to happen.

Yes it is. Where do you live?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They are used to walkable socializing, and I also think parents have more expensive cars, plus in general there is more traffic. Also it seems as if teens seem to expect to be instantly comfortable and good at stuff. Maybe parents being busier too, or not pressuring the way they used to, more just leave it be. Same with stuff like part time jobs.

Why would kids be more used to walkable socializing than in the past?

[Anonymous]

I think the answers given here are missing the mark.
I live in a far out suburb, that is not walkable, Uber friendly and heavily reliant on cars, and many kids here delay getting their licenses as well. Obviously there is something different about today’s culture.

[Anonymous]

If a kid isn't getting a car, what is the motivation for a license? I don't even know if I can afford insurance for my teenage son, let alone another car and maintenance etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They are used to walkable socializing, and I also think parents have more expensive cars, plus in general there is more traffic. Also it seems as if teens seem to expect to be instantly comfortable and good at stuff. Maybe parents being busier too, or not pressuring the way they used to, more just leave it be. Same with stuff like part time jobs.

Why would kids be more used to walkable socializing than in the past?

For real! The excuses are insane.

Oh we don't let Larla drive or work a part time job. We are busy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid's perfect world would be a car be can get into, tell it where he wants to go, and then sit back and scroll through social media while the car drives him where he wants to go. And I think he is not alone. This generation is ripe for self-driving cars.

Not my kids, but then again I didn't raise them to be like this either. Both of my teens got their licenses first day they could. I still limit screen time on their electronics, but I never limit face to face time, never limit driving, and always encourage independency.

The bolded is flat-out contradictory.

Anyhow, I think what you meant to say is that you are a control freak.

Didn’t we all not have phones or electronics and had parents who let us out of sight most of the day. Whether we made poor choices or great choices, teens were happier, more independent, had much less anxiety, mood disorders, depression, and suicide than when we were growing up. I am not sure why you are saying that curbing a teen’s screen time, but encouraging interaction is a control freak. I truly do not.

Lack of electronics is a positive. If you want to think you are being a good mom by letting them stare at screens 24/7 and then not letting them drive to “keep them safe” is about the laziest and worst parenting you can do. This group of kids just becoming teens are the first decade of teens that lived their whole lives with screens (smart phones/iPads) since infancy. As a teacher, I see a massive change in kids in just the last 5 years, and it is not for the better. They are introverted, have social anxiety, do not know how to even talk to adults or peers correctly, and think their worth is based on how popular they are on social media, which is about as fake as it gets. Even the graduates from 2018 and younger had probably 10X more social cues, street smarts, and autonomy than current high schoolers. I can tell you for the last 20 years in teaching, it has not gotten better. Bullying and hate is more secretive. That is about it. Most teens want parents that trust them, but set boundaries. Most parents are so busy on their own electronics, they are clueless how sad, lonely, and stressed their kids are. Their kid doesn’t want to drive, but rather sit at home all day on screens? That is a big red flag.

Bullying another mom who limits screens to make your inadequacies as a mom seem better is a whole different level of wow.

Bullying? After your little nasty diatribes? That is a good bit of pot, kettle, black, I would say.

Whatever, you sound pretty messed up and strangely defensive tbh, so I'm not going engage too much, because I feel really sorry for you, but I will say this: you don't have to hover over their electronics and follow weirdly strict rules like kicking them out to get drivers licenses the day they turn 16 whether they want it or not, if you give your teen the trust and freedom to navigate their own paths. I have multiple teens in my house that don't have limits on electronics and also aren't addicted. They hold jobs, get good grades, take public transportation everywhere, and are good kids. I don't need to control them with an iron fist and monitor their electronics and force them to drive when they don't want to drive. Life with teens doesn't have to be as nasty and hard as you seem to think it should be.

Someone seems offended. Teacher hit too close to home for you?

I forgot how many kids have unlimited electronics and barely use them and are all good kids. And if you take the PP's response as encouraging them to drive/interact with friends as "forcing them to drive" you are just another one raising little snowflakes. Let me guess? You are their best friend. And why bring grades into your response. Most DCUM kids are entitled as they come. Getting "good" grades are about as easy as you can get, especially during a pandemic. I bet you whip out the tutors as soon as someone gets a C in something. It doesn't make your snowflake better than others.