Why do kids seem to be driving later than they used to "back in the day"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid's perfect world would be a car be can get into, tell it where he wants to go, and then sit back and scroll through social media while the car drives him where he wants to go. And I think he is not alone. This generation is ripe for self-driving cars.

Not my kids, but then again I didn't raise them to be like this either. Both of my teens got their licenses first day they could. I still limit screen time on their electronics, but I never limit face to face time, never limit driving, and always encourage independency.

The bolded is flat-out contradictory.

Anyhow, I think what you meant to say is that you are a control freak.

Didn’t we all not have phones or electronics and had parents who let us out of sight most of the day. Whether we made poor choices or great choices, teens were happier, more independent, had much less anxiety, mood disorders, depression, and suicide than when we were growing up. I am not sure why you are saying that curbing a teen’s screen time, but encouraging interaction is a control freak. I truly do not.

Lack of electronics is a positive. If you want to think you are being a good mom by letting them stare at screens 24/7 and then not letting them drive to “keep them safe” is about the laziest and worst parenting you can do. This group of kids just becoming teens are the first decade of teens that lived their whole lives with screens (smart phones/iPads) since infancy. As a teacher, I see a massive change in kids in just the last 5 years, and it is not for the better. They are introverted, have social anxiety, do not know how to even talk to adults or peers correctly, and think their worth is based on how popular they are on social media, which is about as fake as it gets. Even the graduates from 2018 and younger had probably 10X more social cues, street smarts, and autonomy than current high schoolers. I can tell you for the last 20 years in teaching, it has not gotten better. Bullying and hate is more secretive. That is about it. Most teens want parents that trust them, but set boundaries. Most parents are so busy on their own electronics, they are clueless how sad, lonely, and stressed their kids are. Their kid doesn’t want to drive, but rather sit at home all day on screens? That is a big red flag.

Bullying another mom who limits screens to make your inadequacies as a mom seem better is a whole different level of wow.

Bullying? After your little nasty diatribes? That is a good bit of pot, kettle, black, I would say.

Whatever, you sound pretty messed up and strangely defensive tbh, so I'm not going engage too much, because I feel really sorry for you, but I will say this: you don't have to hover over their electronics and follow weirdly strict rules like kicking them out to get drivers licenses the day they turn 16 whether they want it or not, if you give your teen the trust and freedom to navigate their own paths. I have multiple teens in my house that don't have limits on electronics and also aren't addicted. They hold jobs, get good grades, take public transportation everywhere, and are good kids. I don't need to control them with an iron fist and monitor their electronics and force them to drive when they don't want to drive. Life with teens doesn't have to be as nasty and hard as you seem to think it should be.

Someone seems offended. Teacher hit too close to home for you?

I forgot how many kids have unlimited electronics and barely use them and are all good kids. And if you take the PP's response as encouraging them to drive/interact with friends as "forcing them to drive" you are just another one raising little snowflakes. Let me guess? You are their best friend. And why bring grades into your response. Most DCUM kids are entitled as they come. Getting "good" grades are about as easy as you can get, especially during a pandemic. I bet you whip out the tutors as soon as someone gets a C in something. It doesn't make your snowflake better than others.

Sorry you have such a bad relationship with your kids. Must be hard.

[Anonymous]

Driving is such a low bar. If it's important to your family, let your kids drive. If it isn't, then don't.
Though it's interesting that some parents will always find something to judge. Used to worry me a little back in preschool. But at this point in the game, I'm happy with the way things are turning out even if others disagree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
+1. PP is mental. There’s nothing inherently better about driving. It’s a necessary evil and none of us would do it if we didn’t have to.

totally disagree. Driving= independence and exploring the world around you. It shows natural curiosity and growth. Being chauffeured in an Uber is Nothing like trying to navigate the streets to get yourself to a new location

Not when Daddy is paying for the car, insurance and gas.

Lol how about the kid drives to his job?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Driving is such a low bar. If it's important to your family, let your kids drive. If it isn't, then don't.
Though it's interesting that some parents will always find something to judge. Used to worry me a little back in preschool. But at this point in the game, I'm happy with the way things are turning out even if others disagree.

+1 Well said.

Yes. I think it is nutty that PPs like the teacher are getting high and mighty about whether their kids have a driver's license or not. Seems to be scraping the bottom of the barrel as far as things to judge others about, you know? It makes them sound provincial but they are going to cling to it for the hits of judgmental dopamine they apparently still need even though their kids are teens now. Weird behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
+1. PP is mental. There’s nothing inherently better about driving. It’s a necessary evil and none of us would do it if we didn’t have to.

totally disagree. Driving= independence and exploring the world around you. It shows natural curiosity and growth. Being chauffeured in an Uber is Nothing like trying to navigate the streets to get yourself to a new location

Not when Daddy is paying for the car, insurance and gas.

Lol how about the kid drives to his job?

I’m not sure what you’re asking? Yes kids get driven to jobs and college daily. Get over it. Not every kid or family can afford a car/gas/insurance just for the kid. Not every kid has car/gas/insurance as their only life expense; I’m guessing it will shock you to know that *many* kids have to buy their own school supplies, sports fees, college fees, food for the family, etc.

[Anonymous]

I already point our driving tips, traffic sign meanings, rules of the road, etc., while driving with my 11 yo. I've started asking her to help me navigate. My mom did the same with me. It will be her choice when you wants to get her license, but I think it's important for her to know how to drive as a teenager, including learning how to drive a manual car. It's a life skill, and even if she lives in a city with public transportation for the rest of her life, I want her to be capable. I don't want her to ever feel entirely reliant on Lyft/Uber, peer drivers, or other parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A lot of states have graduated licensing laws for under 18 year olds. Why go through all that crap of having a junior learners permit, junior license, etc, when you can just stroll into the DMV at 18 and get your full license?

Plus you don’t have to spend time and money on drivers ed, behind the wheel, logging driving hours, and then waiting around for a ridiculous court ceremony.

+1 This is the basic calculus many kids are making (at least in NoVA). The rewards aren't worth the benefit. They get school driver's ed sophomore year which doesn't have behind the wheel. They have to schedule and pay for a driving school plus do all the parent hours to get a crappy half-assed license and their parents' insurance goes up. They STILL can't legally go out driving with their friends with their license (which is all they really want it for anyway) until they are 18, so why bother?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of states have graduated licensing laws for under 18 year olds. Why go through all that crap of having a junior learners permit, junior license, etc, when you can just stroll into the DMV at 18 and get your full license?

Plus you don’t have to spend time and money on drivers ed, behind the wheel, logging driving hours, and then waiting around for a ridiculous court ceremony.

+1 This is the basic calculus many kids are making (at least in NoVA). The rewards aren't worth the benefit. They get school driver's ed sophomore year which doesn't have behind the wheel. They have to schedule and pay for a driving school plus do all the parent hours to get a crappy half-assed license and their parents' insurance goes up. They STILL can't legally go out driving with their friends with their license (which is all they really want it for anyway) until they are 18, so why bother?

I'm pretty sure you have to show proof of driver's ed if you are an adult, correct?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of states have graduated licensing laws for under 18 year olds. Why go through all that crap of having a junior learners permit, junior license, etc, when you can just stroll into the DMV at 18 and get your full license?

Plus you don’t have to spend time and money on drivers ed, behind the wheel, logging driving hours, and then waiting around for a ridiculous court ceremony.

+1 This is the basic calculus many kids are making (at least in NoVA). The rewards aren't worth the benefit. They get school driver's ed sophomore year which doesn't have behind the wheel. They have to schedule and pay for a driving school plus do all the parent hours to get a crappy half-assed license and their parents' insurance goes up. They STILL can't legally go out driving with their friends with their license (which is all they really want it for anyway) until they are 18, so why bother?

I'm pretty sure you have to show proof of driver's ed if you are an adult, correct?

Yes.
If you are age 18 or older, and you have never held a driver's license issued by Virginia, another state, a U.S. territory, or foreign country, or cannot show proof that you previously held such a license, you must show proof that:

you have passed an approved driver education course, or,
you have held a learner's permit at least 60 days before taking the DMV road skills test.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The jurisdictions around here have made it much more time consuming to get a license. In MD they can’t test until at least 16.5. Before that, there’s a lengthy (extracurricular) classroom training, 60 hours behind the wheel with an adult driver, and 3 2-hour sessions with a professional instructor. Scheduling all of that introduces a lot of delay.

Beyond that, at least some kids nowadays lived a near-virtual life long before covid. They don’t need to go out to see their friends. Some kids also think cars and responsibility are “scary.” There’s some truth in that. Driving in this metropolitan area is awful. The level of recklessness, aggressiveness, and pure lack of skill is astounding. Many drivers seem at best oblivious to other vehicles, others narcissistically malicious. So there’s good reason for kids and parents to be concerned.

On the other side of the equation, the later a kid learns to and starts driving the less experience they will have when they go away to school or otherwise become emancipated. Better a licensed young driver still being coached by a parent passenger than a half-formed one out on their own.

They need to go out to see their friends in person. You think a FaceTime call is the same as going out with friends? Not even close to being the same mentally or physically.

+1 - My teens are OVER the virtual social *stuff*. If you say, "Zoom" in the house the teens roll their eyes. They play video games, of course, and interact online sometimes, but in person is in person and virtual is never the same.

[Anonymous]

Not an issue in our family. DC is counting down the days to get his license. So are we…/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I already point our driving tips, traffic sign meanings, rules of the road, etc., while driving with my 11 yo. I've started asking her to help me navigate. My mom did the same with me. It will be her choice when you wants to get her license, but I think it's important for her to know how to drive as a teenager, including learning how to drive a manual car. It's a life skill, and even if she lives in a city with public transportation for the rest of her life, I want her to be capable. I don't want her to ever feel entirely reliant on Lyft/Uber, peer drivers, or other parents.

Lol this sounds like it was written in 1993. Nobody "navigates anymore" - everyone under 50 uses Waze. Manual transmission already does not exist on almost any good performance cars anymore (where manual is most likely to be an option) and major brands have already stated their intention to drop manual transmissions from most cars (even in Europe!). Only 2% of cars have manual transmission and even that is shrinking. 5 years from now it will all be self-driving electric cars. I agree, knowing how to drive a car is a good skill to have, but "navigating" and "stick shift" have already not been things for a decade

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of states have graduated licensing laws for under 18 year olds. Why go through all that crap of having a junior learners permit, junior license, etc, when you can just stroll into the DMV at 18 and get your full license?

Plus you don’t have to spend time and money on drivers ed, behind the wheel, logging driving hours, and then waiting around for a ridiculous court ceremony.

+1 This is the basic calculus many kids are making (at least in NoVA). The rewards aren't worth the benefit. They get school driver's ed sophomore year which doesn't have behind the wheel. They have to schedule and pay for a driving school plus do all the parent hours to get a crappy half-assed license and their parents' insurance goes up. They STILL can't legally go out driving with their friends with their license (which is all they really want it for anyway) until they are 18, so why bother?

I'm pretty sure you have to show proof of driver's ed if you are an adult, correct?

Yes.
If you are age 18 or older, and you have never held a driver's license issued by Virginia, another state, a U.S. territory, or foreign country, or cannot show proof that you previously held such a license, you must show proof that:

you have passed an approved driver education course, or,
you have held a learner's permit at least 60 days before taking the DMV road skills test.

This is the out for kids--they get the basic driver's ed course in school (which has no road skills) get the permit that allows them to drive supervised with their parent --crazily without having to be added to insurance--though we did up liability coverage on auto and umbrella then) and then just hold on to the permit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of states have graduated licensing laws for under 18 year olds. Why go through all that crap of having a junior learners permit, junior license, etc, when you can just stroll into the DMV at 18 and get your full license?

Plus you don’t have to spend time and money on drivers ed, behind the wheel, logging driving hours, and then waiting around for a ridiculous court ceremony.

+1 This is the basic calculus many kids are making (at least in NoVA). The rewards aren't worth the benefit. They get school driver's ed sophomore year which doesn't have behind the wheel. They have to schedule and pay for a driving school plus do all the parent hours to get a crappy half-assed license and their parents' insurance goes up. They STILL can't legally go out driving with their friends with their license (which is all they really want it for anyway) until they are 18, so why bother?

I'm pretty sure you have to show proof of driver's ed if you are an adult, correct?

Yes.
If you are age 18 or older, and you have never held a driver's license issued by Virginia, another state, a U.S. territory, or foreign country, or cannot show proof that you previously held such a license, you must show proof that:

you have passed an approved driver education course, or,
you have held a learner's permit at least 60 days before taking the DMV road skills test.

This is the out for kids--they get the basic driver's ed course in school (which has no road skills) get the permit that allows them to drive supervised with their parent --crazily without having to be added to insurance--though we did up liability coverage on auto and umbrella then) and then just hold on to the permit.

Whose school still offers driver's ed?
we had to pay for an independent school for my son's drivers ed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of states have graduated licensing laws for under 18 year olds. Why go through all that crap of having a junior learners permit, junior license, etc, when you can just stroll into the DMV at 18 and get your full license?

Plus you don’t have to spend time and money on drivers ed, behind the wheel, logging driving hours, and then waiting around for a ridiculous court ceremony.

+1 This is the basic calculus many kids are making (at least in NoVA). The rewards aren't worth the benefit. They get school driver's ed sophomore year which doesn't have behind the wheel. They have to schedule and pay for a driving school plus do all the parent hours to get a crappy half-assed license and their parents' insurance goes up. They STILL can't legally go out driving with their friends with their license (which is all they really want it for anyway) until they are 18, so why bother?

I'm pretty sure you have to show proof of driver's ed if you are an adult, correct?

Yes.
If you are age 18 or older, and you have never held a driver's license issued by Virginia, another state, a U.S. territory, or foreign country, or cannot show proof that you previously held such a license, you must show proof that:

you have passed an approved driver education course, or,
you have held a learner's permit at least 60 days before taking the DMV road skills test.

This is the out for kids--they get the basic driver's ed course in school (which has no road skills) get the permit that allows them to drive supervised with their parent --crazily without having to be added to insurance--though we did up liability coverage on auto and umbrella then) and then just hold on to the permit.

Whose school still offers driver's ed?
we had to pay for an independent school for my son's drivers ed.

In FCPS you get the basic course but it's useless because there's no driving in it. But it gets you your permit.