Why do kids seem to be driving later than they used to "back in the day"?

[Anonymous]

What are your thoughts on the trend of kids waiting to get their licenses--and the common feeling of reluctance that a lot of kids seem to have about driving?

I was one of the few kids I knew who did not get a license at age 16 (back in the 1990s). For me, the reason was straight-up anxiety. I was very fixated on the appearance of being perfect and I couldn't handle the idea of doing a driving training with other kids from school who would see me learning at something.

A lot less was understood about anxiety then, my experience with it now (and my stance as a parent) is that if my kid was anxious about driving I would provide more support and coping skills but I would not let them avoid driving. IME, avoiding something makes that stress/anxiety build up about it and it becomes harder to surmount later.

Are kids today more anxious in general? Or is it because so much socializing can be done online, so there's less of a pull to be out and about on your own? Or is it somewhat parent-influenced, because I do think parents are more anxious than they seemed to be when I was growing up.

I was inspired to post this because another parenting group I am on had people talking about driving their kids to COLLEGE (because the kids didn't want licenses) and that really got me thinking.

[Anonymous]

Uber, mostly.

It depends on where you live, too.

I lived in Paris and neither I nor my friends needed to drive. We got our licenses at 19 or thereabouts, because we knew we would need it at some point, but most of us didn't drive after that until we left the city and settled elsewhere, where cars were more useful to our lifestyles. I didn't actually own a car until the birth of my first child.

The USA is incredibly car-focused, because most places don't have good public transport, but this is changing, and with the advent of ride services like Uber and Lyft, there isn't as much pressure to be an independent driver as there used to.

All this is a good thing, OP. At 16 you're apt to have poor judgement and make sometimes deadly impulsive decisions. A 16-year old brain isn't as mature as a 20-year old brain. So I would say that unless you live somewhere where you absolutely must learn to drive, it's perhaps a wise choice to wait.

[Anonymous]

Insurance for teen drivers is way more expensive now and public transportation is better, also, lyft/uber. Lots of kids (and adults) get where they need to go without driving a car.

[Anonymous]

My kid's perfect world would be a car be can get into, tell it where he wants to go, and then sit back and scroll through social media while the car drives him where he wants to go. And I think he is not alone. This generation is ripe for self-driving cars.

[Anonymous]

IMO 16 is way too young to make good decisions. I hope my kids wait to drive.

[Anonymous]

My kid waited - 17 now and is just finishing up the class for the written exam. We are in Maryland and the ages for when you’re eligible to start everything have actually shifted later than when I was a kid in Maryland. But most of my kid’s delay is due to her ADHD and anxiety plus the pandemic.

[Anonymous]

Where I grew up you could not go anywhere without a car. There was nowhere to walk or even bike safely so without a car you had to have someone drive you. Uber didn’t exist so that meant mom, dad, or an older sibling. A license opened up a world of possibilities. Since I have younger siblings and was involved in various activities, my parents were just as excited for me to have a license as I was. Where I live now a teenager can walk, metro, or bike to just about anywhere. Plus, Uber. There just isn’t as much motivation.

[Anonymous]

Uber
Constant contact with friends on social media

[Anonymous]

In an urban area or urban area adjacent, driving isn't any fun, insurance rates are sky high.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid's perfect world would be a car be can get into, tell it where he wants to go, and then sit back and scroll through social media while the car drives him where he wants to go. And I think he is not alone. This generation is ripe for self-driving cars.

Exactly. We don’t live in the 80’s anymore where getting a driver’s license is one of the highlights of a teenager’s life.

[Anonymous]

My kids just don't feel the need to drive and are not that interested in driving. They can walk or bike to meet up with friends and a lot of interaction is online anyway. I grew up in a city with public transportation and did not get my license until 25, my DH was also in his 20s. We did just fine. They'll learn to drive when they actually need to.

[Anonymous]

All three of my kids waited to get their license until they were 17; in fact, one was nearly 18. They could get around to most places they needed to go by Metro or bike. And they were super-busy with school and activities, so it was hard to fit in the time to do driver's ed (necessary to get a permit in MD) and then the behind-the-wheel hours (necessary to take your license test).

[Anonymous]

Competence and mastery is essential for good mental health. Driving is an essential skill. Not everyone needs to own a car.

[Anonymous]

We live in a close in suburb, and our son didn't get his license until 17 because he didn't need it. Lots of parents drive their kids to college because even if the child has a license they aren't necessarily taking a car to campus.

I got a license at 16, but didn't have a car at college until my senior year.

[Anonymous]

No more movies about kids riving to high school and jumping into their convertibles after school. Kids have so many more things to do nowadays. Seems strange to talk about the car that took them to their activity, and ofcourse, public transportation in DMV is pretty decent. Kids are on those scooters a lot. Maybe that's their mode of transportation.