Guy wants exclusivity before first date

[Anonymous]

Red flag.

[Anonymous]

Hell to the no.

[Anonymous]

When I was dating my DH (before we even slept together), around the 3rd date he said, "I don't believe in dating other people. It needs to be 1:1 for me."

At the time, I was like 'wow. what a great guy. one who isn't out in the streets playing the field, etc...'

My DH was/is/always will be an insecure, low self-confidence person who projected all of his shortcomings on to me. "How many people have you slept with?"

We are now separated. Finally!

You in danger girl! RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I was dating my DH (before we even slept together), around the 3rd date he said, "I don't believe in dating other people. It needs to be 1:1 for me."

At the time, I was like 'wow. what a great guy. one who isn't out in the streets playing the field, etc...'

My DH was/is/always will be an insecure, low self-confidence person who projected all of his shortcomings on to me. "How many people have you slept with?"

We are now separated. Finally!

You in danger girl! RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Same here. Exclusivity really early is crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was dating my DH (before we even slept together), around the 3rd date he said, "I don't believe in dating other people. It needs to be 1:1 for me."

At the time, I was like 'wow. what a great guy. one who isn't out in the streets playing the field, etc...'

My DH was/is/always will be an insecure, low self-confidence person who projected all of his shortcomings on to me. "How many people have you slept with?"

We are now separated. Finally!

You in danger girl! RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Same here. Exclusivity really early is crazy.

Same happened to me. It went to the extreme that he was upset with me having male friends within the first month of dating. Of course he spun it as a positive to make himself seem like a devoted, monogamous man who would never even be alone in the same room with another woman, and like PP, I thought he was a great guy.

Nope. Super insecure, jealous, and controlling. It got to the point where I wasn’t even allowed to talk with men I worked with unless it was 100% business, and he regularly got angry that I had dated/slept with men BEFORE WE EVEN MET. Thank god we’re now divorced.

Had a similar situation recently, a man I went out with a few times mentioned on the second or third date that he had deleted all his dating profiles so he could focus on me. It didn’t sit right with me, we barely knew each other. Sure enough, insecurity and jealousy started to come out a couple dates later.

[Anonymous]

Decline even the first date.

[Anonymous]

You have never met and he is trying to control you.

Hard no.

[Anonymous]

Guy here. Every female commenting here is right, insecurity flashing in bright lights. Heck I wouldn't even commit to Scarlett Johansson before the first date.

[Anonymous]

I wonder if it matters if you are female or male?

For example, I recently met a guy (am female) and decided, on my own, that I wanted to see where the relationship would go. So I cut off all other guys and didn't go on my date app to check out other profiles. I did not tell the guys this, it was just something I decided for myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if it matters if you are female or male?

For example, I recently met a guy (am female) and decided, on my own, that I wanted to see where the relationship would go. So I cut off all other guys and didn't go on my date app to check out other profiles. I did not tell the guys this, it was just something I decided for myself.

It's not your sex that matters you made this choice for yourself which is fine demanding it of your date before you have met is different and I'd say the same male or female

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if it matters if you are female or male?

For example, I recently met a guy (am female) and decided, on my own, that I wanted to see where the relationship would go. So I cut off all other guys and didn't go on my date app to check out other profiles. I did not tell the guys this, it was just something I decided for myself.

Yes, I think it depends on each situation. It sounds like YOU decided to cut off these connections AFTER you met the guy. That sounds find (though not everyone would do the same, of course).
Telling someone else to be exclusive before the first date is reason enough to cancel the first date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if it matters if you are female or male?

For example, I recently met a guy (am female) and decided, on my own, that I wanted to see where the relationship would go. So I cut off all other guys and didn't go on my date app to check out other profiles. I did not tell the guys this, it was just something I decided for myself.

It's not your sex that matters you made this choice for yourself which is fine demanding it of your date before you have met is different and I'd say the same male or female

Yes, the key point being keeping it to yourself and not announcing your decision out loud. Everyone decides in their own time and in their own way to start dating someone exclusively or not. Sometimes it's better to hold off saying these things in the beginning until you get a better sense of how the other person feels.