Guy wants exclusivity before first date

[Anonymous]

Tell him you need 5 dates before exclusivity, at least, so you aren’t compatible.

[Anonymous]

Ok I’m old but why is this a red flag?
I never actually dated more than one person at a time anyways. Who has time?

[Anonymous]

Run, OP. Don't be featured in a future episide of Dateline.

[Anonymous]

Nothing wrong with him saying that is what he wants, and nothing wrong with you not agreeing to it.

[Anonymous]

Are you sure you didn’t misunderstand? Are you sure he is t asking “are you dating because you want to hopefully find an exclusive relationship, or are you going to want to date multiple people at once indefinitely?”

[Anonymous]

Can you really commit to a person you've never met before? And what kind of person would expect you to?

[Anonymous]

Is he asking for a commitment sight unseen or asking if, after you have this first date, you could hold off on seeing others while you two see if there's something there?

[Anonymous]

Don't go on the first date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you really commit to a person you've never met before? And what kind of person would expect you to?

He’s not asking her to get married.
He’s asking to refrain from dating other people. Honestly if you want to focusing on building a relationship, it’s impossible to do if you’re flitting around comparing guys. It would be my preference too

[Anonymous]

You guys are nuts. Sounds like a good solid dude who knows what he wants and communicates it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nothing wrong with him saying that is what he wants, and nothing wrong with you not agreeing to it.

+1 I think his expectations are unreasonable, but I also think many people have unreasonable expectations. I had a personal rule that I could date infinity people at a time but once I was having sex with someone it needed to be exclusive on both ends. I'm sure there were guys who thought I was crazy for that in the world of Tinder/OKCupid/whatever the new thing is. You can just tell him "I'm not ready for exclusivity; let me know if that's a dealbreaker."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you really commit to a person you've never met before? And what kind of person would expect you to?

He’s not asking her to get married.
He’s asking to refrain from dating other people. Honestly if you want to focusing on building a relationship, it’s impossible to do if you’re flitting around comparing guys. It would be my preference too

Why would you be focusing on building a relationship with someone you haven't even met once?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok I’m old but why is this a red flag?
I never actually dated more than one person at a time anyways. Who has time?

It's funny you say old-fashioned, but our grandmothers did this all the time go on several dates with different guys until one showed himself to be the one you wanted to get to know on a deeper relational level, that would lead to marriage. I find it bizarre that this generation thinks one date equal the start of the relationship. I think this kind of thinking leads to becoming overly invested in someone too soon, and how you end up wasting years of your life on a guy you decide isn't worth your time, but that you basically just kept dating just because.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you really commit to a person you've never met before? And what kind of person would expect you to?

He’s not asking her to get married.
He’s asking to refrain from dating other people. Honestly if you want to focusing on building a relationship, it’s impossible to do if you’re flitting around comparing guys. It would be my preference too

Why would you be focusing on building a relationship with someone you haven't even met once?

Well because I’m focused on dating/marriage and not just sex. Every date and interaction is “building a relationship”
I’ll go back to being old now…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Been chatting with a guy from a dating app. I’ve enjoyed the convo and we have a date planned. Today he says he prefers to date one person at a time, and would I be willing to date him exclusively? Is this a red flag? I don’t even know the guy

I see both sides of this. I think I'd tell him I'm not seeing anyone else now and I am not planning to (if that's the case) and why don't we see how the first date goes and discuss. He could be a desperate wacko or he could be someone that is just ready to have a relationship. If he has an objection to the above I would back out of the date.