My Unorthodox Life on Netflix

[Anonymous]

The answer is probably, "religious modesty rules: they don't make sense" but why does Batsheva's husband Ben have a problem with her wearing a pair of jeans because of "modesty" and pants being one step too far, but is totally ok with a micro mini skirt that barely covers her ass paired with a pushup bra and deep cut shirt showing tons of cleavage? I've only watched the first episode, but when she came out in those pants and he was upset my first thought was, "the pants?! what about the sultry off the shoulder cleavage bearing top?!" If any secular man were to be checking her out, it would definitely have been for those boobies, not the wide legged jeans!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The answer is probably, "religious modesty rules: they don't make sense" but why does Batsheva's husband Ben have a problem with her wearing a pair of jeans because of "modesty" and pants being one step too far, but is totally ok with a micro mini skirt that barely covers her ass paired with a pushup bra and deep cut shirt showing tons of cleavage? I've only watched the first episode, but when she came out in those pants and he was upset my first thought was, "the pants?! what about the sultry off the shoulder cleavage bearing top?!" If any secular man were to be checking her out, it would definitely have been for those boobies, not the wide legged jeans!

NP who grew up orthodox, but isn’t any longer. Technically, that outfit really is just as bad, if not worse than pants. as far as modesty rules are concerned.

I grew up going to an ultra orthodox school, but a synagogue that leaned slightly more to the left. I knew a handful of girls who were allowed to wear pants before they had their bat mitzvahs. The general modesty rules in my community were:
-no sleeveless. girls/women wore shirts with sleeves that wouldn’t show their elbows.
-shirts must have necklines above your collar bone
-skirts must go past your knees. Most wear ankle length

From what it sounds like my community was closer to the level of observance that Julia actually grew up with rather than what she is portraying. My orthodox school taught general studies to the girls, but my brother had a much stronger education. 90% of the girls in my class went to college (although 2 left to get married before finishing her degree). There was a range of going to community college, nearby state schools and about 10% who went to Ivy League schools. Despite the college degree the expectation was still to get married by 22 at the latest and having a family took precedence over careers, even for the girls who went to Ivy Leagues.

Looking back on it most of my friends moms were on BCP. Some families at my school has 5+ kids, but at my synagogue 2-4 was the norm. I don’t know anyone who was expected to raise their younger siblings.

[Anonymous]

NP- formerly orthodox again. I forgot to add that most of the girls I grew up with have a career, but there are homemakers as well. Some work in the Jewish communal world, some are teachers, speech pathologists, but there are also doctors, lawyers and college professors. However, they are universally considered the primary parent who deals with all the stereotypical women’s roles like cooking, child-rearing etc.

[Anonymous]

I’ve only seen two episodes thus far, but can we talk about the husband and his wealth?

Julia is leaving A LOT out of her story. In the first two episodes, they make her seems like a self-made single mom who thrived despite her upbringing.

However, Silvio - her husband - is one of the richest telecom execs in Italy. He started the first broadband ISP, which he sold for $5.7B to Swisscom (his ownership was worth over $1B in 2007).

Using that money, he bought Elite World Group group in 2011
In 2013, he buys La Perla for 60m euros.

In 2013, Julia leaves her husband.

In 2016, Julia’s shoe line collaborated with La Perla. She becomes creative director of La Perla
In 2018, she becomes head of Elite World Group.
In 2019, Julia ans Silvio are married.

The husband has immense financial power over the kids and family. I guarantee we are not getting the whole story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll answer here to the best of my ability. Pp who actually grew up with no movies or secular books and is annoyed and slightly amused by Julia (we knew her as Talia Leibov)

What about the morning prayer she referenced, which the males say, "Thank G-d I'm not a woman"? Is that a loose translation, or no?

It's an exact translation. Women say "that god made me the way He wanted". I personally don't feel offended, but feel free to take offense on my behalf.

I am taken aback by the prayer, not offended. You seem a touch defensive of something you are ostensibly okay with. Perhaps you could put it in context and also expand on the women's prayer. You have an opportunity to educate, take advantage of that and keep in mind that many of us aren't familiar with that culture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve only seen two episodes thus far, but can we talk about the husband and his wealth?

Julia is leaving A LOT out of her story. In the first two episodes, they make her seems like a self-made single mom who thrived despite her upbringing.

However, Silvio - her husband - is one of the richest telecom execs in Italy. He started the first broadband ISP, which he sold for $5.7B to Swisscom (his ownership was worth over $1B in 2007).

Using that money, he bought Elite World Group group in 2011
In 2013, he buys La Perla for 60m euros.

In 2013, Julia leaves her husband.

In 2016, Julia’s shoe line collaborated with La Perla. She becomes creative director of La Perla
In 2018, she becomes head of Elite World Group.
In 2019, Julia ans Silvio are married.

The husband has immense financial power over the kids and family. I guarantee we are not getting the whole story.

+1

I’ve watched the full season, and this is never really addressed, which was odd. It’s one thing to OTD, but to then live a billionaire lifestyle and be seemingly unphased by it, is wild to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve only seen two episodes thus far, but can we talk about the husband and his wealth?

Julia is leaving A LOT out of her story. In the first two episodes, they make her seems like a self-made single mom who thrived despite her upbringing.

However, Silvio - her husband - is one of the richest telecom execs in Italy. He started the first broadband ISP, which he sold for $5.7B to Swisscom (his ownership was worth over $1B in 2007).

Using that money, he bought Elite World Group group in 2011
In 2013, he buys La Perla for 60m euros.

In 2013, Julia leaves her husband.

In 2016, Julia’s shoe line collaborated with La Perla. She becomes creative director of La Perla
In 2018, she becomes head of Elite World Group.
In 2019, Julia ans Silvio are married.

The husband has immense financial power over the kids and family. I guarantee we are not getting the whole story.

He appears to be in love with her and deeply devoted to her. He took her last name when they married. If anything, she's distant and too busy for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I started watching this last night and wow, it's fascinating. Does anyone know the community that they came from? Were they in Brooklyn? Prior to moving to NYC in my early 20s, I had never encounter Hasidic Jews and was just so curious about their culture/customs. The scenes of the community look like Williamsburg or somewhere in Brooklyn. Needless to say, I've watched every film/documentary focused on the Jewish Orthodox communities. In a weird way, this seems almost too surreal to be true to go from someone whose has been told her whole life that her whole purpose in life is to have children and please her husband and to go on to become this dynamic, vivacious leader and businessperson. Don't get me wrong, I'm so happy for Julia and her children that now they really are living their best lives, but I have so many questions.

Julia said she left the community in her early 40s. She was born in 1971 so she is only 50 now. How did Julia from "secret" insurance sales person to CEO of Elite in less than 10 years as a 40 something mom of four without much of a formal education who was also dealing with the trauma of leaving this kind of community? How did she accumulate so much wealth so fast? No doubt, her husband is also very successful, but still. How did her daughter, who also didn't have much of a formal education, get into Stanford? No doubt she's smart and very techie, but lots of very smart, techie kids with excellent credentials don't get into Stanford. This kind of success is just so rare and there are many people who hustle, have the right credentials, have all the "right" connections and it still doesn't happen for them like this. It's endless fascinating and I want to know all of her secrets.

It's also interesting to watch Batsheva, too because she is the most connected to their former way of life. It's the juxtaposition between being so independent/career focused and still needing to have a discussion with husband about him being okay with her wearing pants.

I am not sure whether this community started in Brooklyn, however, they have been in Rockland County for many years. And at odds with the community as well. It has been a very bumpy ride.

The community is out in force today on FB spewing garbage about Julia. Slut-shaming to the max. As a Jew, I am completely annoyed at their response. They are a cult period. No different than a conservative evangelical or ultra Mormon or the Duggars, Bates families on TV.

She is 100% correct that the community does not educate women. While they are claiming online that part isn't true, my cousin is part of this cult. She is very vocal. She did not educate her daughters she married them off at age 18 barely to men through matchmakers. None of her daughters are educated enough to even balance a checkbook. One of her sons who rebelled against the "laws" was sent to Miami to be reprogramed. UGH In my cousin's case she ran away from horrible home life. Parts of being in a community like this made her feel safe. That I understand, however, if one tries to leave they do come for you and try to make your life miserable, that is a cult.

Stanford, homeschoolers get into Stanford. She got in because she is very bright.


You are correct this kind of success does not come easily. Julia spent years preparing to leave. She did not just wake up one morning and decide to leave. She made a plan and executed it.

I haven’t watched the show yet, but grew up modern orthodox in NY adjacent to communities like hers. She wasn’t Hasidic, was what we call “frum,” from monsey in rockland county. It’s very religious but not quite chasidic. Boys and girls are sent to separate schools, girls wear skirts down to their ankles and shirt sleeves to their elbows. The schools like the one she attended, bais yaakov, are not exactly known for stellar “general/secular” studies (what the community calls things like English, science, social studies, etc.) Both boys and girls are sent to Israel for a year after high school, and girls start being set up for arranged marriages at 19. Yes, some will go on to excellent colleges, but most go to Jewish colleges or local colleges that enable them to live at home so as not to expose them to secular society (which is still an improvement from chasidic people who don’t let their kids into the secular world at all.) For women, it is very much a goal to be married by your early twenties, in fact, it’s called a crisis within the community to have unmarried women in their mid twenties and old (because the men at those ages will still marry the 19 year olds.) there is no sexual experience before marriage. It is a cult like existence that ensnares children during impressionable years, and then traps young women and men in marriages and religious lifestyles by their early twenties. The main difference between “frum” communities like hers, and chasidic ones, is that some of the adults, particularly men, are not just learning in yeshiva all day- they have normal professions that often require advanced degrees. For the most part, women are not lawyers and doctors- they are encouraged to be homemakers, teachers, speech pathologists, occupational therapists etc- careers that are more “flexible” for raising a large family. These are like check list requirements for dating for arranged marriages.

There are beautiful parts of a very religious life, but it is remarkable that she had the self determination to build a lucrative career and get out.

The orthodox community I come from is trashing her.

Why are they trashing her without even seeing it?

I presume some have seen it, but I personally have not had a chance to watch it yet. They are trashing her for it being traitorous or non authentic.

No no she is authentic.

They are trashing her because they are in a cult. One doesn't leave that group without major bullying.

I can see their words on my FB feed. It is very ugly and they are focusing on La Perla, slut-shaming. Gross and horrible behavior from such "pious" individuals.

Education seems to be also at the core of the disagreement. 100% of women in these communities do not learn as much as men in schools. Some grow up and get a college degree, but most are not educated like they are claiming. Most are married by 18 and have babies asap. Women are a lower class in these communities.

It is a cult plain and simple. Of course, some of what Netflix will show will be slightly embellished, it's TV LOL. But mostly her words are correct and she is a great role model for someone who wants to leave that community.

Getting a divorce in that community no matter what your husband behaves like is like death.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yep totally watching it. But like what are the chances that someone leaves and their life transforms like hers, especially so quickly?! Also, I know she made a comment about selling life insurance secretly before she left, but does she have any formal education and how is she qualified to run La Perla or Elite? I want to know more about her current husband-how they met and the level of acceptance he had for her and the kids is amazing.

There’s some part of the story they are skipping. It doesn’t make sense not having a secular education, then launching a successful shoe line, then being fired as a creative director of La Perla and then CEO of Elite. She’s clearly intelligent and driven but that kind of rise through a competitive industry doesn’t make sense.

[Anonymous]

^^hired, not fired

[Anonymous]

I’m on episode 2. Agnostic Jew here, for context. Not necessarily speaking to the Orthodox comments here this far…

But the drama seems over the top manufactured. Bat and Julia were arguing about pants (before the fashion show) when Bat was…. wearing a track suit. And she can wear a low cleavage shirt + mini skirt but can’t wear jeans. Give me a break. If her husband really cared so much about modesty, she’d be in knee length skirts and at least elbow length sleeves….

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yep totally watching it. But like what are the chances that someone leaves and their life transforms like hers, especially so quickly?! Also, I know she made a comment about selling life insurance secretly before she left, but does she have any formal education and how is she qualified to run La Perla or Elite? I want to know more about her current husband-how they met and the level of acceptance he had for her and the kids is amazing.

There’s some part of the story they are skipping. It doesn’t make sense not having a secular education, then launching a successful shoe line, then being fired as a creative director of La Perla and then CEO of Elite. She’s clearly intelligent and driven but that kind of rise through a competitive industry doesn’t make sense.

That is not what she said. What she said was girls in the community are not educated as well as males. Which is 100% true.

She came from a cult, good for her for getting out and trying to help her daughters become independent educated women. It is a reality TV show, but most of her words are very true. Signed ex cult member of Monsey, NY

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve only seen two episodes thus far, but can we talk about the husband and his wealth?

Julia is leaving A LOT out of her story. In the first two episodes, they make her seems like a self-made single mom who thrived despite her upbringing.

However, Silvio - her husband - is one of the richest telecom execs in Italy. He started the first broadband ISP, which he sold for $5.7B to Swisscom (his ownership was worth over $1B in 2007).

Using that money, he bought Elite World Group group in 2011
In 2013, he buys La Perla for 60m euros.

In 2013, Julia leaves her husband.

In 2016, Julia’s shoe line collaborated with La Perla. She becomes creative director of La Perla
In 2018, she becomes head of Elite World Group.
In 2019, Julia ans Silvio are married.

The husband has immense financial power over the kids and family. I guarantee we are not getting the whole story.

I was wondering how she rose through fashion so quickly. She’s smart abd a hard worker but people don’t rise so quickly through a cutthroat industry on pure merit

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve only seen two episodes thus far, but can we talk about the husband and his wealth?

Julia is leaving A LOT out of her story. In the first two episodes, they make her seems like a self-made single mom who thrived despite her upbringing.

However, Silvio - her husband - is one of the richest telecom execs in Italy. He started the first broadband ISP, which he sold for $5.7B to Swisscom (his ownership was worth over $1B in 2007).

Using that money, he bought Elite World Group group in 2011
In 2013, he buys La Perla for 60m euros.

In 2013, Julia leaves her husband.

In 2016, Julia’s shoe line collaborated with La Perla. She becomes creative director of La Perla
In 2018, she becomes head of Elite World Group.
In 2019, Julia ans Silvio are married.

The husband has immense financial power over the kids and family. I guarantee we are not getting the whole story.

I was wondering how she rose through fashion so quickly. She’s smart abd a hard worker but people don’t rise so quickly through a cutthroat industry on pure merit

She’s CEO of the holding company that controls all the model agencies. Look at episode 2 where all the foreign subsidiary heads are sitting around the table in a meeting with her. They are humoring the wife of the owner.

She’s now launching a fashion label with her husband’s money.

I wouldn’t be surprised if her husband is financing the Netflix series. Julia is listed as an Executive Producer.

Something really feels off about this series. I feel like everyone is lying about their intentions and they are purposely leavings out LOTS of pertinent information. Julia really seems like she should be on RHONY....except no billionaire’s wife would be on that show.

She essentially hit the Single Mom Lottery.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve only seen two episodes thus far, but can we talk about the husband and his wealth?

Julia is leaving A LOT out of her story. In the first two episodes, they make her seems like a self-made single mom who thrived despite her upbringing.

However, Silvio - her husband - is one of the richest telecom execs in Italy. He started the first broadband ISP, which he sold for $5.7B to Swisscom (his ownership was worth over $1B in 2007).

Using that money, he bought Elite World Group group in 2011
In 2013, he buys La Perla for 60m euros.

In 2013, Julia leaves her husband.

In 2016, Julia’s shoe line collaborated with La Perla. She becomes creative director of La Perla
In 2018, she becomes head of Elite World Group.
In 2019, Julia ans Silvio are married.

The husband has immense financial power over the kids and family. I guarantee we are not getting the whole story.

I was wondering how she rose through fashion so quickly. She’s smart abd a hard worker but people don’t rise so quickly through a cutthroat industry on pure merit

I KNEW there had to be something more. In one of the early episodes, she called it a "family" business which I thought was kid of weird, but now makes complete sense. So if her husband never bought the company, then she wouldn't be head of Elite. Good news, folks! Nepotism is still alive and well in America.