Reply to My Unorthodox Life on Netflix

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I started watching this last night and wow, it's fascinating. Does anyone know the community that they came from?  Were they in Brooklyn? Prior to moving to NYC in my early 20s, I had never encounter Hasidic Jews and was just so curious about their culture/customs. The scenes of the community look like Williamsburg or somewhere in Brooklyn. Needless to say, I've watched every film/documentary focused on the Jewish Orthodox communities. In a weird way, this seems almost too surreal to be true to go from someone whose has been told her whole life that her whole purpose in life is to have children and please her husband and to go on to become this dynamic, vivacious leader and businessperson. Don't get me wrong, I'm so happy for Julia and her children that now they really are living their best lives, but I have so many questions.

Julia said she left the community in her early 40s. She was born in 1971 so she is only 50 now. How did Julia from "secret" insurance sales person to CEO of Elite in less than 10 years as a 40 something mom of four without much of a formal education who was also dealing with the trauma of leaving this kind of community?  How did she accumulate so much wealth so fast? No doubt, her husband is also very successful, but still. How did her daughter, who also didn't have much of a formal education, get into Stanford?  No doubt she's smart and very techie, but lots of very smart, techie kids with excellent credentials don't get into Stanford.  This kind of success is just so rare and there are many people who hustle, have the right credentials, have all the "right" connections and it still doesn't happen for them like this. It's endless fascinating and I want to know all of her secrets.

It's also interesting to watch Batsheva, too because she is the most connected to their former way of life. It's the juxtaposition between being so independent/career focused and still needing to have a discussion with husband about him being okay with her wearing pants.

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I am not sure whether this community started in Brooklyn, however, they have been in Rockland County for many years. And at odds with the community as well. It has been a very bumpy ride.

The community is out in force today on FB spewing garbage about Julia. Slut-shaming to the max. As a Jew, I am completely annoyed at their response. They are a cult period. No different than a conservative evangelical or ultra Mormon or the Duggars, Bates families on TV.

She is 100% correct that the community does not educate women.  While they are claiming online that part isn't true, my cousin is part of this cult. She is very vocal. She did not educate her daughters she married them off at age 18 barely to men through matchmakers. None of her daughters are educated enough to even balance a checkbook. One of her sons who rebelled against the "laws" was sent to Miami to be reprogramed. UGH In my cousin's case she ran away from horrible home life. Parts of being in a community like this made her feel safe. That I understand, however, if one tries to leave they do come for you and try to make your life miserable, that is a cult.

Stanford, homeschoolers get into Stanford. She got in because she is very bright.

You are correct this kind of success does not come easily.  Julia spent years preparing to leave. She did not just wake up one morning and decide to leave. She made a plan and executed it.

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I haven’t watched the show yet, but grew up modern orthodox in NY adjacent to communities like hers. She wasn’t Hasidic, was what we call “frum,” from monsey in rockland county. It’s very religious but not quite chasidic. Boys and girls are sent to separate schools, girls wear skirts down to their ankles and shirt sleeves to their elbows. The schools like the one she attended, bais yaakov, are not exactly known for stellar “general/secular” studies (what the community calls things like English, science, social studies, etc.) Both boys and girls are sent to Israel for a year after high school, and girls start being set up for arranged marriages at 19. Yes, some will go on to excellent colleges, but most go to Jewish colleges or local colleges that enable them to live at home so as not to expose them to secular society (which is still an improvement from chasidic people who don’t let their kids into the secular world at all.) For women, it is very much a goal to be married by your early twenties, in fact, it’s called a crisis within the community to have unmarried women in their mid twenties and old (because the men at those ages will still marry the 19 year olds.) there is no sexual experience before marriage. It is a cult like existence that ensnares children during impressionable years, and then traps young women and men in marriages and religious lifestyles by their early twenties. The main difference between “frum” communities like hers, and chasidic ones, is that some of the adults, particularly men, are not just learning in yeshiva all day- they have normal professions that often require advanced degrees. For the most part, women are not lawyers and doctors- they are encouraged to be homemakers, teachers, speech pathologists, occupational therapists etc- careers that are more “flexible” for raising a large family. These are like check list requirements for dating for arranged marriages.

There are beautiful parts of a very religious life, but it is remarkable that she had the self determination to build a lucrative career and get out.

The orthodox community I come from is trashing her. [/quote]

Why are they trashing her without even seeing it?[/quote]

I presume some have seen it, but I personally have not had a chance to watch it yet. They are trashing her for it being traitorous or non authentic. [/quote]

No no she is authentic.

They are trashing her because they are in a cult. One doesn't leave that group without major bullying.

I can see their words on my FB feed. It is very ugly and they are focusing on La Perla, slut-shaming. Gross and horrible behavior from such "pious" individuals.

Education seems to be also at the core of the disagreement. 100% of women in these communities do not learn as much as men in schools. Some grow up and get a college degree, but most are not educated like they are claiming. Most are married by 18 and have babies asap. Women are a lower class in these communities.

It is a cult plain and simple. Of course, some of what Netflix will show will be slightly embellished, it's TV LOL. But mostly her words are correct and she is a great role model for someone who wants to leave that community.

Getting a divorce in that community no matter what your husband behaves like is like death. [/quote]

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