Am I being unreasonable? Mother needs to get up several times during the night

[Anonymous]

What about sleeping pills for her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"this terrible habit of going to the bathroom every 1.5 hrs"

GTFO. It's not a habit, it's a need, and yes, you should suck it up for a week and help the woman who got up plenty with you.

YTA, in redditspeak.

Probably prolapse exacerbated by carrying op in her belly. Wonder how many times she got up with op in the night when she was a baby.

OP probably wore a diaper though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why didn't she go to a rehab for a couple of weeks? Medicare would probably pay for at least a little while.
-social worker

Case manager said this is an option only after surgery ( if she’s able to get it).

NP bit question for SW: can person be sent to rehab if they can’t fully engage in therapy (since surgery hasn’t happened yet)? What happens to patients like this who have no family to take care of them? Do you just keep them in the hospital until they are safe to go home?

[Anonymous]

I didn’t have time to read all of the replies. Have you thought about having an occupational therapist come in and do a home eval. They could recommend equipment and also provide training for your mom.


Another thought since she has to sleep upright - can you get one of those recliners where the seat essentially pushes the person out of the chair.

I think this sounds terribly difficult OP.

[Anonymous]

I mean, it's annoying yes, but I would do it for my mom
Can't imagine asking her to wear a diaper.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"this terrible habit of going to the bathroom every 1.5 hrs"

GTFO. It's not a habit, it's a need, and yes, you should suck it up for a week and help the woman who got up plenty with you.

YTA, in redditspeak.

Probably prolapse exacerbated by carrying op in her belly. Wonder how many times she got up with op in the night when she was a baby.

If you haven’t cared for an elderly adult, don’t place guilt on people.
Many elderly adults need care for decades. My mom didn’t change my diaper for more than two years. I will be changing her diaper for 10 years.
I have bathed my children, Watch them in the bathtub, until they were old enough to take a bath without me worrying about them drowning. Maybe 5 years?
I help my mom shower. She will probably live another 10 to 15 years.
Elder care is harder and less rewarding than child care.

[Anonymous]

I’d ask for a sleeping aid from her doctor. Everyone, including OP’s mother, needs to get their sleep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean, it's annoying yes, but I would do it for my mom
Can't imagine asking her to wear a diaper.

Typical response from someone who has never had to do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get a portable toilet and put it in her room. Most old people have to get up to pee constantly at night, it's not just your mom. When my mom was released from the hospital, home health provided a little portable toilet for her room, placed next to her bed. She needs that, plus a lift chair.

Welcome to elderly parents.

And she should not wear underwear at night since she needs help pulling them down. My grandparents had lift chairs and they loved them. Good luck, OP. Ignore the haters on here.

[Anonymous]

can you hire an aide to come during the night and help her to the bathroom? This seems like the kind of problem you could solve with money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, it's annoying yes, but I would do it for my mom
Can't imagine asking her to wear a diaper.

Typical response from someone who has never had to do it.

New poster here and I HAVE done it. I’m also a nurse and used to surviving on little sleep and caring for others. Some have suggested good practical advice about recliners and bedside commodes.

Adult diapers and sleeping pills are going to leave OPs mother in a wet mess that will quickly cause skin breakdown and possible infection

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why didn't she go to a rehab for a couple of weeks? Medicare would probably pay for at least a little while.
-social worker

Case manager said this is an option only after surgery ( if she’s able to get it).

NP bit question for SW: can person be sent to rehab if they can’t fully engage in therapy (since surgery hasn’t happened yet)? What happens to patients like this who have no family to take care of them? Do you just keep them in the hospital until they are safe to go home?

I'm the SW who responded. I don't work in a hospital so I don't know what their protocols are. I work in a rehab facility, and we get plenty of patients who have limited/ little use of joints, etc. and also patients who have no family to care for them, and they need to go somewhere until their physical status improves. Some have to do rehab to improve their status before they qualify for surgery.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why didn't she go to a rehab for a couple of weeks? Medicare would probably pay for at least a little while.
-social worker

Case manager said this is an option only after surgery ( if she’s able to get it).

NP bit question for SW: can person be sent to rehab if they can’t fully engage in therapy (since surgery hasn’t happened yet)? What happens to patients like this who have no family to take care of them? Do you just keep them in the hospital until they are safe to go home?

I'm the SW who responded. I don't work in a hospital so I don't know what their protocols are. I work in a rehab facility, and we get plenty of patients who have limited/ little use of joints, etc. and also patients who have no family to care for them, and they need to go somewhere until their physical status improves. Some have to do rehab to improve their status before they qualify for surgery.

Thank you for your response.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"this terrible habit of going to the bathroom every 1.5 hrs"

GTFO. It's not a habit, it's a need, and yes, you should suck it up for a week and help the woman who got up plenty with you.

YTA, in redditspeak.

Probably prolapse exacerbated by carrying op in her belly. Wonder how many times she got up with op in the night when she was a baby.

If you haven’t cared for an elderly adult, don’t place guilt on people.
Many elderly adults need care for decades.

And depending on what they learn at various medical appointments, there may need to be (probably will be) a change in living arrangements/support. But none of that was known when OP posted. OP had one exhausting night and was done because this was all so very hard on her, the poor dumpling.

[Anonymous]

1. Tell her you need your sleep otherwise you cannot take care of her.

2. Diaper. No commode, no waking you up.

3. Pressure the doctor to find out why she pees at night: meds, insomnia/anxiety, too much drinking before bedtime? Try to fix whatever it is, and say that if she can’t hold it in, diaper it is!!!