Am I being unreasonable? Mother needs to get up several times during the night

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for all that answered. She’s indefinitely staying with me . She already has an immobility problem during to her age and weight. She cannot climb stairs by herself, is uneasy walking.
She cannot sit upright from a lying position so it’s a struggle to get her up at night. She cannot pull her underwear down by herself so I need to assist with that. This most likely will be happening for the next 3 months. It is difficult for me to get back to sleep and once I do, she’s calling for me again.
What I meant by terrible habit is this only happens at night she’s fine during the day.

She already wears an i co to Ende pad during the day and not much urine comes out at night, which is why I thought the depends would be an option.

Didn’t you say her shoulder needed to immobile for one week?

[Anonymous]

Doctor said she needs to be sleeping in an upright position. She needs help standing up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"this terrible habit of going to the bathroom every 1.5 hrs"

GTFO. It's not a habit, it's a need, and yes, you should suck it up for a week and help the woman who got up plenty with you.

YTA, in redditspeak.

It’s. Ot a week, though. Doctor said 3 months for recovery.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you clarify what assistance she needs from you? Would a bed rail help her sit up by herself? There are a lot of tools out there to help with bed mobility.

Not quite the same, but similar experience, in that my eldest child got in the habit of waking frequently at night after a hospitalization when he was an infant. It was absolute torture and I was a complete wreck after about a week of it. You have my sympathies- getting up every 90 minutes every night is not sustainable.

Help us understand what she needs from you, and maybe we can crowdsource a solution.

Thank you. Your words are much appreciated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"this terrible habit of going to the bathroom every 1.5 hrs"

GTFO. It's not a habit, it's a need, and yes, you should suck it up for a week and help the woman who got up plenty with you.

YTA, in redditspeak.

20:59 here. If you haven’t done it yourself, you have no idea how difficult it is. Living with such interrupted sleep is not a mere inconvenience. It wrecks you the next day, it makes you unsafe behind the wheel, it makes you non-functional at your job and so on. Op can’t keep it up, and they have to find another solution.

I agree that this is untenable and They need to find another solution, but OP does sound pretty uncaring and heartless. I’m hopeful she’s just coming off that way because it’s the internet and she’s tired, but still.

[Anonymous]

Can you hire a night nurse?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for all that answered. She’s indefinitely staying with me . She already has an immobility problem during to her age and weight. She cannot climb stairs by herself, is uneasy walking.
She cannot sit upright from a lying position so it’s a struggle to get her up at night. She cannot pull her underwear down by herself so I need to assist with that. This most likely will be happening for the next 3 months. It is difficult for me to get back to sleep and once I do, she’s calling for me again.
What I meant by terrible habit is this only happens at night she’s fine during the day.

She already wears an i co to Ende pad during the day and not much urine comes out at night, which is why I thought the depends would be an option.

Didn’t you say her shoulder needed to immobile for one week?

No, she needs to get scans which will be taken within a week. Doctor will then decide if she needs surgery or to let it heal on its own. Either way, long recovery.

[Anonymous]

OP, it's a bad situation all around. If she can't get up by herself and she is peeing at night several times, then she is lying in the wet diaper all night. This is pretty much status quo in most nursing homes. They simply don't have the staff to get up with people all night, or change diapers all night.

Given that, can you afford night help for the 3 months? But beware, she will become dependent on the help and won't want to give it up. But if you're desperate and sure she will get better and go home, then do what you have the ability to do.

Also, the day vs night peeing thing I think is the nerve issue. When awake she can better control it, even without realizing she's controlling it.

I'm curious what the RN PP thinks about all this.

[Anonymous]

Is it her blood pressure medication - some are diuretic. Maybe she can switch to taking in morning? Or is her blood sugar out of control? That will cause tons of nighttime pee too. Sounds like a medical issue. For now, buy a bedside toilet. can put right next to her bed. It's almost full size, like metal sides, with plastic seat and little area to catch pee beneath seat. I'm no expert but seen used by very ill people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you hire a night nurse?

Unfortunately Insurance won’t pay for it right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you hire a night nurse?

Unfortunately Insurance won’t pay for it right now.

Can you pay for it? Something’s got to give if this is going to be an issue for more than a week. Your sleep is really important.

[Anonymous]

How about a urinal? They have them for women and can be used in bed. She’d have to sleep with no underwear and have the mobility to get it positioned, but she wouldn’t have to get out of bed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you hire a night nurse?

Unfortunately Insurance won’t pay for it right now.

Can you pay for it? Something’s got to give if this is going to be an issue for more than a week. Your sleep is really important.

Depending on where they are, this could run $200/night.

[Anonymous]

Frankly, even if she gets scan in week, then what? Surgery, then helping another 3 months? Post surgery will be bad too. Same situation.

Perhaps you can rent bed that lifts up the back side with remote. I can't remember name of it. There were commercials in 90s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it her blood pressure medication - some are diuretic. Maybe she can switch to taking in morning? Or is her blood sugar out of control? That will cause tons of nighttime pee too. Sounds like a medical issue. For now, buy a bedside toilet. can put right next to her bed. It's almost full size, like metal sides, with plastic seat and little area to catch pee beneath seat. I'm no expert but seen used by very ill people.

No, no blood pressure medication.