Description of Married/Partnered Cheaters without Very Specific Details

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ zero personal accountability. She was “led” “groomed” to let her co-worker stick his d@ck in her on work trips. Poor thing. “Honey, it wasn’t my fault. He came on to me.”

God, these married women that can marry a sucker that believes this BS, more power to them. They will never change because it was “100% the dude’s fault.” Who buys this crap? Does your couples counselor?

It's part of the stupid-speak of this generation. Reading this thread I'm caught by how it makes women sound so stupid that they were "groomed" into sex with a man where otherwise they would have never done such a thing. And to say a man "used" her during an affair? Please... That's the definition of affair. You use each other to get your needs met and each is equally responsible. No woman gets talked into an affair who doesn't want it.

I completely agree. It is never 100% the guy's fault unless it is rape. I hate the word "grooming" as if she doesn't know what is going on - they are becoming friends and then lovers and she consents to that. Unless she is a minor or you are her boss or you force yourself upon her - she's equally at fault

[Anonymous]

A man can take advantage of women who are emotionally at a weak point by purporting to be a platonic friend offering support and advice, and then slowly working over a long period of time to take advantage of that emotional vulnerability. Believe it because it does happen. I know of married men who have insinuated themselves slowly into an affair with a violence survivor in one

[Anonymous]

... and a woman abandoned afger a long marriage to a narcissist in another. Do we blame victims of financial cons for giving access to their finances? Emotional cons exist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A man can take advantage of women who are emotionally at a weak point by purporting to be a platonic friend offering support and advice, and then slowly working over a long period of time to take advantage of that emotional vulnerability. Believe it because it does happen. I know of married men who have insinuated themselves slowly into an affair with a violence survivor in one

Yes and it can happen the other way too. Women definitely do the same when men are at an emotional weak point in their marriages too---it happens in the workplace and with 'friends' just as often the other way.

Please stop with the women victim crap. It's 2021. They are just as often the instigators.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A man can take advantage of women who are emotionally at a weak point by purporting to be a platonic friend offering support and advice, and then slowly working over a long period of time to take advantage of that emotional vulnerability. Believe it because it does happen. I know of married men who have insinuated themselves slowly into an affair with a violence survivor in one

Yes and it can happen the other way too. Women definitely do the same when men are at an emotional weak point in their marriages too---it happens in the workplace and with 'friends' just as often the other way.

Please stop with the women victim crap. It's 2021. They are just as often the instigators.

I agree with you that serial cheaters can be either female or male, and that like their con artist counterparts, they can and do often exploit vulnerabilities in their targets -- traumas, emotional pain or weakness, loneliness, isolation, low self-esteem or lack of confidence, a vulnerable personality -- to "groom" and break down the defenses of their intended and obtain what they want, sexual or financial. These exploitative behaviors occurs in same-sex and heterosexual scenarios, and among men and women both.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A man can take advantage of women who are emotionally at a weak point by purporting to be a platonic friend offering support and advice, and then slowly working over a long period of time to take advantage of that emotional vulnerability. Believe it because it does happen. I know of married men who have insinuated themselves slowly into an affair with a violence survivor in one

Yes and it can happen the other way too. Women definitely do the same when men are at an emotional weak point in their marriages too---it happens in the workplace and with 'friends' just as often the other way.

Please stop with the women victim crap. It's 2021. They are just as often the instigators.

I agree with you that serial cheaters can be either female or male, and that like their con artist counterparts, they can and do often exploit vulnerabilities in their targets -- traumas, emotional pain or weakness, loneliness, isolation, low self-esteem or lack of confidence, a vulnerable personality -- to "groom" and break down the defenses of their intended and obtain what they want, sexual or financial. These exploitative behaviors occurs in same-sex and heterosexual scenarios, and among men and women both.

+100

And we see just as many female teachers getting arrested for banging underage students as men these days. Sigh.

[Anonymous]

Most extramarital affairs can be characterized as run-of-the-mill, perhaps, but other extramarital affairs (as with any relationship really) cross the line into opportunistic (at best) and exploitative (at worst) behaviors by one party against another.

[Anonymous]

I had a man once tell me that he preferred to have slightly "crazy" women as affair partners and that there came a time when he ghosted any affair partner permanently and without explanation. He said that this drove his partners either by nature or design to engage in erratic behavior such a repeated phone call, or multiple texts or emails that he could keep as evidence of their unhinged nature if they ever attempted to contact his wife, work or friends, thus hurting their character and making him appear the sympathetic victim of his partner's insanity. Needless to say I lost all respect for him. When my older children watched an episode of "Always Sunny" where Dennis discusses his foolproof way to make women sleep with him (demonstrate value, engage physically, nurture dependence, neglect emotionally, inspire hope, separate entirely), I almost lost it, there's some truth in that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a man once tell me that he preferred to have slightly "crazy" women as affair partners and that there came a time when he ghosted any affair partner permanently and without explanation. He said that this drove his partners either by nature or design to engage in erratic behavior such a repeated phone call, or multiple texts or emails that he could keep as evidence of their unhinged nature if they ever attempted to contact his wife, work or friends, thus hurting their character and making him appear the sympathetic victim of his partner's insanity. Needless to say I lost all respect for him. When my older children watched an episode of "Always Sunny" where Dennis discusses his foolproof way to make women sleep with him (demonstrate value, engage physically, nurture dependence, neglect emotionally, inspire hope, separate entirely), I almost lost it, there's some truth in that.

Narcissists look for people to worship them. Having someone profess their love and then later tear them down is a sick thrill many of them get. The ghosting and poor treatment after the love bombing and excitement wears off. They use women desperate to believe it's 'real'.

They are tossed in the trash w/out looking back when they get dependent or there is a legit reason to fear discovery. Wiped off the face of the earth in their minds...somebody who weeks ago they were falsely professing love.

[Anonymous]

The above describes exactly what happened to me and yet I am still unable to see the man as a narcissist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Older, friendly, sometimes lives locally, armed services background. Gently cultivates platonic friendship with affair as the ultimate goal. Be forewarned, proceed with caution.

(Could be woman or man, partnered or married, gay or straight.)

Lonely. Friendly. Oddly and very strongly committed. Starved for affection or sex or both. Dissatisfied with status quo in current marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The above describes exactly what happened to me and yet I am still unable to see the man as a narcissist.

Why?

[Anonymous]

Passive aggressive. Bitter. Lazy. SAHM. Middle aged. HS age kids. Short. Self-absorbed. Despises husband but puts up a false front of happy family. Faultless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Older, friendly, sometimes lives locally, armed services background. Gently cultivates platonic friendship with affair as the ultimate goal. Be forewtgarned, proceed with caution.

(Could be woman or man, partnered or married, gay or straight.)

Lonely. Friendly. Oddly and very strongly committed. Starved for affection or sex or both. Dissatisfied with status quo in current marriage.

We could be describing the same person it seems, perhaps some cheaters possess similar characteristics and issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Passive aggressive. Bitter. Lazy. SAHM. Middle aged. HS age kids. Short. Self-absorbed. Despises husband but puts up a false front of happy family. Faultless.

Same as above and loves to say she is 'charitable' and so empathetic...all while hurting others. Guess that's a narcissist or borderline personality trait?