Description of Married/Partnered Cheaters without Very Specific Details

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Older, friendly, sometimes lives locally, armed services background. Gently cultivates platonic friendship with affair as the ultimate goal. Be forewtgarned, proceed with caution.

(Could be woman or man, partnered or married, gay or straight.)

Lonely. Friendly. Oddly and very strongly committed. Starved for affection or sex or both. Dissatisfied with status quo in current marriage.

We could be describing the same person it seems, perhaps some cheaters possess similar characteristics and issues.

Strongly committed to whom??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Passive aggressive. Bitter. Lazy. SAHM. Middle aged. HS age kids. Short. Self-absorbed. Despises husband but puts up a false front of happy family. Faultless.

Same as above and loves to say she is 'charitable' and so empathetic...all while hurting others. Guess that's a narcissist or borderline personality trait?

Does she say 'kids deserve to see mom happy' ? Very delusional. Repeat cheater.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The above describes exactly what happened to me and yet I am still unable to see the man as a narcissist.

Why?

Because in my mind I still see the good, supportive and kind person I thought he was, and cannot reconcile his shabby treatment of me and subsequent actions with who I want(ed) him and supposed him to be.

[Anonymous]

^^^ For me it was love.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^^ For me it was love.

Well- it obviously wasn't for him. You saw what you wanted to see.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The above describes exactly what happened to me and yet I am still unable to see the man as a narcissist.

Why?

Because in my mind I still see the good, supportive and kind person I thought he was, and cannot reconcile his shabby treatment of me and subsequent actions with who I want(ed) him and supposed him to be.

Are you married too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^^ For me it was love.

Well- it obviously wasn't for him. You saw what you wanted to see.

I think if you look back you will realize there was a lot more fighting and disagreements than you rose-colored glasses allow you to see.

People don't see these things objectively when they live in fantasyland.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^^ For me it was love.

Well- it obviously wasn't for him. You saw what you wanted to see.

I think if you look back you will realize there was a lot more fighting and disagreements than you rose-colored glasses allow you to see.

People don't see these things objectively when they live in fantasyland.

This is why women cannot do no strings or FWB. They always read way more into things...and believe whatever crap is thrown at them to keep free sex going for him.

[Anonymous]

We never fought.

[Anonymous]

But yes, I recognize that I was "played".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Older, friendly, sometimes lives locally, armed services background. Gently cultivates platonic friendship with affair as the ultimate goal. Be forewtgarned, proceed with caution.

(Could be woman or man, partnered or married, gay or straight.)

Lonely. Friendly. Oddly and very strongly committed. Starved for affection or sex or both. Dissatisfied with status quo in current marriage.

We could be describing the same person it seems, perhaps some cheaters possess similar characteristics and issues.

Strongly committed to whom??

His wife??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:But yes, I recognize that I was "played".

If you were taking part in a secret affair, you were a player too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But yes, I recognize that I was "played".

If you were taking part in a secret affair, you were a player too.

No, I was fooled and taken advantage of for some of the reasons astutely noted in a previous post comparing cheaters to conartists. I forgive him just as I need to forgive myself for falling for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But yes, I recognize that I was "played".

If you were taking part in a secret affair, you were a player too.

No, I was fooled and taken advantage of for some of the reasons astutely noted in a previous post comparing cheaters to conartists. I forgive him just as I need to forgive myself for falling for it.

If you knew he was married you were not fooled.

If he presented himself as single and you had no reason to believe otherwise (no facts or knowledge), then you were fooled.

But nobody that knows a man is married is fooled into being the OW. Get real. I don't know how many lines married men have told me over my lifetime. You wanted to believe a falsehood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But yes, I recognize that I was "played".

If you were taking part in a secret affair, you were a player too.

No, I was fooled and taken advantage of for some of the reasons astutely noted in a previous post comparing cheaters to conartists. I forgive him just as I need to forgive myself for falling for it.

If you knew he was married you were not fooled.

If he presented himself as single and you had no reason to believe otherwise (no facts or knowledge), then you were fooled.

But nobody that knows a man is married is fooled into being the OW. Get real. I don't know how many lines married men have told me over my lifetime. You wanted to believe a falsehood.

And take no blame for doing it...just forgive herself and him JFC! These people are unbelievable.