Description of Married/Partnered Cheaters without Very Specific Details

[Anonymous]

Older, friendly, sometimes lives locally, armed services background. Gently cultivates platonic friendship with affair as the ultimate goal. Be forewarned, proceed with caution.

(Could be woman or man, partnered or married, gay or straight.)

[Anonymous]

huh?

[Anonymous]

Wow. Very interesting. I can only add that I enjoy peanut butter. Can you swim?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:huh?

I interpreted the original post to be an invitation for others to post vague descriptions of married or partnered cheaters they have encountered without necessarily outing the person.

Thus the original poster described the cheater they encountered as someone who was "older" and "friendly", and someone who "sometimes lives locally" and possessed an "armed services background". They also state that the modus operandi of the cheater is to "gently cultivate a platonic friendship" with designs on a sexual "affair". But, so as not to out them, omitted information about the gender of the individual, their partnered status, or whether it is a heterosexual or same-sex relationship.

I agree that it is too vague an exercise to be much fun. The description is so broad as to be applicable to hundreds of thousands locally. If you want to hold a cheater's feet to the fire then there has to be some heat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:huh?

I interpreted the original post to be an invitation for others to post vague descriptions of married or partnered cheaters they have encountered without necessarily outing the person.

Thus the original poster described the cheater they encountered as someone who was "older" and "friendly", and someone who "sometimes lives locally" and possessed an "armed services background". They also state that the modus operandi of the cheater is to "gently cultivate a platonic friendship" with designs on a sexual "affair". But, so as not to out them, omitted information about the gender of the individual, their partnered status, or whether it is a heterosexual or same-sex relationship.

I agree that it is too vague an exercise to be much fun. The description is so broad as to be applicable to hundreds of thousands locally. If you want to hold a cheater's feet to the fire then there has to be some heat.

Nothing is fun when the author, like OP, is a weaselly coward. Nut up and make your accusations, OP!

[Anonymous]

Forewarned about what? Proceed with caution why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Older, friendly, sometimes lives locally, armed services background. Gently cultivates platonic friendship with affair as the ultimate goal. Be forewarned, proceed with caution.

(Could be woman or man, partnered or married, gay or straight.)

Yes, indeed. This could be THOUSANDS of people. WTF is the actual POINT of this thread????

[Anonymous]

I actually think OP's point was to start some common types -- the guy who grooms you by being your pal, the guy who is a military person, etc.

I'll add -- my cheater worked in an industry known for helping others. He used this as a cover. Anyone working on these issues is assumed to be a "good guy". In fact, he was a bad guy and was doing some things in his personal life that were a direct contradiction to his public life. An "out" public example of this is Eric Schneiderman, who publicly fought against domestic violence and privately physically abused his GF. So, this exercise is kind of a warning to others -- be careful and don't make assumptions.

Yes, probably the majority of military guys might make good partners, but for some, it is definitely a "good guy" cover.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I actually think OP's point was to start some common types -- the guy who grooms you by being your pal, the guy who is a military person, etc.

I'll add -- my cheater worked in an industry known for helping others. He used this as a cover. Anyone working on these issues is assumed to be a "good guy". In fact, he was a bad guy and was doing some things in his personal life that were a direct contradiction to his public life. An "out" public example of this is Eric Schneiderman, who publicly fought against domestic violence and privately physically abused his GF. So, this exercise is kind of a warning to others -- be careful and don't make assumptions.

Yes, probably the majority of military guys might make good partners, but for some, it is definitely a "good guy" cover.

More married men "groom" women for an affair by first being a supportive friend than one would suppose. As a woman you should always be smart, yes give a man the assumption that he is a "good" guy but also listen to your instincts and learn to recognize certain signs.

In my case a "nice" married man became my friend over a long period of casual talks at school events, which led to friendly, once a week walks in Rock Creek Park, and the occasional coffee. Then one day my "friend" leaned in and pulled me close,,, The whole grooming was so gradual that I failed to notice when someone I had previously not even been physically attracted to had become a man I had a hard time resisting.

I have no doubt he had done it before and has certainly gone on to "cultivate" women in the same way again. In that case, his spouse worked for abroad for her government, so he was away from her for long periods. Much like military separations I suppose.

[Anonymous]

Just because OP didn't nut up, doesn't mean others can't spill their tea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I actually think OP's point was to start some common types -- the guy who grooms you by being your pal, the guy who is a military person, etc.

I'll add -- my cheater worked in an industry known for helping others. He used this as a cover. Anyone working on these issues is assumed to be a "good guy". In fact, he was a bad guy and was doing some things in his personal life that were a direct contradiction to his public life. An "out" public example of this is Eric Schneiderman, who publicly fought against domestic violence and privately physically abused his GF. So, this exercise is kind of a warning to others -- be careful and don't make assumptions.

Yes, probably the majority of military guys might make good partners, but for some, it is definitely a "good guy" cover.

More married men "groom" women for an affair by first being a supportive friend than one would suppose. As a woman you should always be smart, yes give a man the assumption that he is a "good" guy but also listen to your instincts and learn to recognize certain signs.

In my case a "nice" married man became my friend over a long period of casual talks at school events, which led to friendly, once a week walks in Rock Creek Park, and the occasional coffee. Then one day my "friend" leaned in and pulled me close,,, The whole grooming was so gradual that I failed to notice when someone I had previously not even been physically attracted to had become a man I had a hard time resisting.

I have no doubt he had done it before and has certainly gone on to "cultivate" women in the same way again. In that case, his spouse worked for abroad for her government, so he was away from her for long periods. Much like military separations I suppose.

Was the sex good? You lured us into this thread, at least give us some details.

[Anonymous]

^^^ Not OP. No sex. When met with objections, he dropped it to his credit, then proceeded to drop the friendship altogether. His spouse now works for the federal government here, so that likely helps. In that case separation and distance no doubt played a part, but I still resented the "grooming".

[Anonymous]

Unfortunately, I had a few ONS and AP. They all had different body types. Different color hair, skin tone, some were married, etc. The common theme with all of them is they just wanted to F.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately, I had a few ONS and AP. They all had different body types. Different color hair, skin tone, some were married, etc. The common theme with all of them is they just wanted to F.

That's men, they're always up for it. The married man who worked me up was longtime married and nearly 60 years old, I thought he was completely safe, and now I know better.

[Anonymous]

I had an experience with a man who tested my boundaries, and he told me that he had had an affair with a woman who worked with his wife in the same relatively small workplace, where his wife was a senior person. I recall thinking that was passive-aggressive behavior and very irresponsible as it could have adversely affected those two women's careers. He seemed like a nice enough guy, other than the hitting on women while married, but that story in particular bothered me.