Is picky eating a deal breaker

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you posters all 22 or something? It seems very immature and superficial to dismiss a person for something like this.

Also, while people claim this is about practical differences, it seems they are really saying it’s about class. If you would accept someone who’s vegan or Keto or kosher but not someone who is generally picky, you’re really just saying you’re cooler than they are.

And if you’re saying you’re a foodie and could never be with someone who isn’t, then I don’t think long term partnering is for you. People all have their own hobbies. My husband is into sci fi and I’m totally not. I believe I worried about that once when I was 22. Life got much bigger and his other characteristics got much more important.

You eat daily. You don't have to watch the same movies or read the same books as him. HUGE difference.

It's also embarrassing to go to friend's/relative's houses with a picky eater. They will pick through all the food, make faces (they don't mean to) and generally just not eat the food served. It's a thing they've trained themselves to do. My dad can't do mayo/sour cream/ricotta. He will happily be eating a food with one of those ingredients, but when you tell him there's sour cream in it, he starts gagging and can't eat a bite more. Utterly ridiculous and childish.

[Anonymous]

Deal-breaker for some, but not for others. It only matters if it is a deal-breaker for you, OP Try going out to different restaurants or cooking different things together and see how you feel about it and how he is able to adapt or not in different situations.

I'm not the biggest foodie, but I like trying new recipes, going to restaurants, traveling to new places, and trying local cuisine. Part of the fun is sharing the experience with someone else who also enjoys it.

[Anonymous]

It's a dealbreaker for me because if we get married I'm either stuck cooking to his taste or eating the stuff he makes or we have to make 2 separate meals which isn't budget/environmentally/time friendly.

The "picky" one gets to choose what we eat, and I'm not willing to deal with that. Now if that nice vegan man can refrain from whining when I cut into a steak maybe it can work, but in my experience picky eaters want you to be as picky as they are. They just can't shut up when you eat something they wouldn't.

[Anonymous]

Total Deal breaker.

Grown men that eat like toddlers---no thanks.

I love adventurous eaters and those that relish in foods of other cultures.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:mac and cheese, rice, fried chicken, any red meat

not exactly quality food you are making there maybe he likes more than you think but you are cooking for a 5 year old's apatite.

1. I have not cooked for him. I do not cook for men I'm not in a serious relationship .He listed his preferences during a conversation.

2. Mac and cheese and fried chicken can be low end or high end depending on how it's prepared. There are world class chefs who serve both

3. If you're going to snark at someone make sure you can read, spell, and have all your facts first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't care about mac and cheese, red meat, or fried chicken, but the lack of herbs, spices, and vegetables would be a problem.

I think there is picky and then there is PICKY! This probably won't be a popular opinion but I actually don't even like going out to dinner with people who are extremely picky. I once had experience eating out to dinner with someone who couldn't find ANYTHING she would eat on the menu which had apps, salads, soup, sandwiches, fish, chicken, etc, and ended up ordering a grilled cheese and french fries from the kid's menu. It was weird! Couldn't imagine living with someone like this!

You’re the weird one!

-Not a picky eater

DP, no way. An adult without allergies should be able to find something acceptable on most any menu. To resort to eating a grilled cheese from the kid's menu is really bizarre. I am definitely not the weird one if we go to a restaurant and you sit there eating buttered toast because any of the other 25+ options was not ok.

You’re the weird one if it bothers you.

Yeah, sorry. It's really limiting. All ethnic options are out. Anything "fancy" is out. Call me weird, but I enjoy eating at restaurants with adults who don't require a children's menu.

DP—my family took DD to a French restaurant for a graduation. One of her friends couldn’t find anything on the menu except for Mac and cheese. She ordered it with a boatload of “instructions” to the waiter on what not to add, what to add, how to cook it, .... After the dish comes out, she takes one bite and complains to the waiter. They finally take it back, are very apologetic, and offer to comp her meal. She ate a salad without anything on it for the rest of the meal. It was so embarrassing that she treated the staff that way. I don’t care that she’s picky, but care that her behavior was so rude as our guest.

To me that's the result of poor parenting.Her parents likely let her get away with that crap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:mac and cheese, rice, fried chicken, any red meat

not exactly quality food you are making there maybe he likes more than you think but you are cooking for a 5 year old's apatite.

1. I have not cooked for him. I do not cook for men I'm not in a serious relationship .He listed his preferences during a conversation.

2. Mac and cheese and fried chicken can be low end or high end depending on how it's prepared. There are world class chefs who serve both

3. If you're going to snark at someone make sure you can read, spell, and have all your facts first.

NP. Look, I love mac and cheese and fried chicken, but no matter who prepares it or how much it costs, they’re never going to be elevated dishes. It’s just lots of fat, and deep frying. They’re simple country food, and nothing wrong with that. And delicious!

[Anonymous]

For me, yes. I like men, not children. Meal time should not be a battle with grown adults.

Everyone has a few common things that they just never like. Everyone has limits of their palate when it comes to more exotic things. But if you don't overwhelmingly eat what's made or served to you, then nope, we're not going to get along.

Also it's just rude. Rude people are a dealbreaker.

[Anonymous]

Depends. If he is willing to cook for himself or have loads of money such that he can order out all the time, and be fine with me ordering at a restaurant I want, then sure. He has to at least be willing to go to a bbq place with me and be able to find something there to eat. And he'd better have oodles of other great qualities.

My DH is the least pickiest eater ever, and it's sooo easy. He is willing to try everything and anything. And he has other great qualities, too.

[Anonymous]

How important is food to you? DH is picky and doesn’t eat vegetables and has a list of spices he hates. We’ve never been to a restaurant where he couldn’t find something he could order.

You say you’re not a foodie, so this shouldn’t be hard. Foodies center their life on food and judge others that don’t. If you were a foodie this wouldn’t work.

I’m not a foodie and have zero problem with what DH eats or doesn’t eat. Just like he doesn’t care that I hate coffee and think spending tons of money on overpriced restaurants is dumb.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh my god I’ll bet he’s terrible in bed.

Yeah, he probably doesn’t eat that either.

I laughed out loud so hard that it interrupted my kids' DL classes. Of course I couldn't explain why . . .

[Anonymous]

IME, picky eating goes hand in hand with a bunch of other deep-seated issues. It rarely exists as the only difficult behavior, so it would be a deal breaker for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you posters all 22 or something? It seems very immature and superficial to dismiss a person for something like this.

Also, while people claim this is about practical differences, it seems they are really saying it’s about class. If you would accept someone who’s vegan or Keto or kosher but not someone who is generally picky, you’re really just saying you’re cooler than they are.

And if you’re saying you’re a foodie and could never be with someone who isn’t, then I don’t think long term partnering is for you. People all have their own hobbies. My husband is into sci fi and I’m totally not. I believe I worried about that once when I was 22. Life got much bigger and his other characteristics got much more important.

You eat daily. You don't have to watch the same movies or read the same books as him. HUGE difference.

It's also embarrassing to go to friend's/relative's houses with a picky eater. They will pick through all the food, make faces (they don't mean to) and generally just not eat the food served. It's a thing they've trained themselves to do. My dad can't do mayo/sour cream/ricotta. He will happily be eating a food with one of those ingredients, but when you tell him there's sour cream in it, he starts gagging and can't eat a bite more. Utterly ridiculous and childish.

+1. It's every dinner for the rest of your life.

I feel for you with your dad. I once dated a picky eater. I brought him to my sister's and they made grilled chicken breasts on the bone because they knew he likes to eat a lot of protein. He gave me a stricken look like they were hurting him because he eats boneless chicken breasts but chicken on the bone was one of his prohibited items. That was it for me. His picky eating was just another way for him to be a crazy control freak. Every picky eater I know has other issues. It just doesn't seem to be an isolated trait.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That level of picky eater would be a dealbreaker for me.

I don’t eat everything—I’m a pescatarian for one—but I like to try new cuisines and couldn’t deal with someone like that.

Is this the new " I'm a vegan" " I'm gluten free" I keep seeing it in people's profiles?

It means they fish, but no other meat. This isn’t hard.

Generally pescatarians are fine eating eggs and dairy like vegetarians.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That level of picky eater would be a dealbreaker for me.

I don’t eat everything—I’m a pescatarian for one—but I like to try new cuisines and couldn’t deal with someone like that.

Is this the new " I'm a vegan" " I'm gluten free" I keep seeing it in people's profiles?

It means they fish, but no other meat. This isn’t hard.

Generally pescatarians are fine eating eggs and dairy like vegetarians.

My DW is pescatarian. It's literally the easiest thing to accommodate. We do fish a few times per week, plus lots of eggs, dairy, and fresh veggies. My diet improved dramatically once I moved in with DW, as I cut out a lot of the crap I was eating. I still make myself a filet steak once per month, have some fried chicken when we go out, eat BBQ at the in-laws house, etc. My DW doesn't care if her veggie dogs are cooked on the same grill as the burgers and hot dogs. She's a very chill pescatarian and I feel much healthier adopting her lifestyle 75% of the time.

That said, I still buy deli meat for sandwiches, a pepperoni pizza when we order in delivery, etc. It's not a big deal at all. Pescatarian is in no way the same as the typical neurotic "picky eater" with a very rigid palate.