How many dates before sex is reasonable?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not sure if age matters for this and know it varies by person, but is it crazy to ask a girl back to my place after the first date if it’s going well? Feels risky, but I don’t personally have any hang ups around it. And I’m definitely someone that really values chemistry in the bedroom.

There's nothing wrong with making your needs heard.

I would think a guy is a ho. If he offered to cook a dinner for me on date 3, I would accept the invite but tell ahead of time no sex is planned. I would undress though and have a physical makeout session

Undress and make out without having sex?

Not fully undress but I would let him touch me through underwear if I really liked the guy. Maybe touch him myself. Some men might get disappointed that the deed didn't happen, but most understand that you like him. I raise a question of STI testing if that happens and let him know it's preferable to have available for future few dates

[Anonymous]

First if you're a dude. Always go for it if you're interested in hittin' it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dated a lot until tying the knot two years ago at 35. I never pursued it on a first date, always did on the second date, and never kept dating any woman who kept me waiting by the fourth date. Honestly would be worried about the hang-ups in someone’s psyche that they think sex is so complicated and special that they need 5+ dates as an adult to decide to do it.

Some people actually prefer to know the person they're having sex with rather than just using them to satisfy their horniness.

+1

For some people, sex is special.

That’s fine, and great for them! For others of us, it’s just a pleasurable activity. I don’t attach any emotional meaning to it. I obviously have to like the dude and feel safe with him, but it doesn’t have a lot of significance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:From experience women come in into a date and swear they won't have sex. But when they are really into you they can't wait to f**k you..Believe it or not if a man is into you if he decides to wait he will wait. But a woman who decided to wait just cant have the self restraint when she is so much into the guy. There are exceptions of course. But a lot have zero self restraints. Worse if you tell them the right things that speed up the process even faster.

Don’t speak for all women. Sexual behaviors don’t change throughout life. If she sleeps with you on a second date, she did it with 29 others before.

You are not that exceptional. Most men are not exceptional. I only met/dated one man who was and I couldn’t wait for sex. He was extremely attractive looking like Sean Connery in his prime, and mega educated and wealthy. I didn’t sleep with him on a 2nd date either. It happened about a month in.

This isn’t true at all IMO! You sound quite young.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not sure if age matters for this and know it varies by person, but is it crazy to ask a girl back to my place after the first date if it’s going well? Feels risky, but I don’t personally have any hang ups around it. And I’m definitely someone that really values chemistry in the bedroom.

You should try on the first date. She may decline but you should try. It will show your assertiveness and make your intentions clear. If you don’t try, she will put you in the “nice guy” bucket and friend-zone you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not sure if age matters for this and know it varies by person, but is it crazy to ask a girl back to my place after the first date if it’s going well? Feels risky, but I don’t personally have any hang ups around it. And I’m definitely someone that really values chemistry in the bedroom.

You should try on the first date. She may decline but you should try. It will show your assertiveness and make your intentions clear. If you don’t try, she will put you in the “nice guy” bucket and friend-zone you.

This. This is real. Always, always go for the kiss and more. Of course, only if she's worth it.

[Anonymous]

On a first date, I’d find it offensive and I wouldn’t go out with you again unless we had a serious discussion about respect.

[Anonymous]

As both sides are older, I"d expect it to happen sooner. They are better at decision-making and not new to things, compared to when they arein their 20s.

And indeed every woman 40+ I've been on a date with, and it's happened on the first date, or we didn't click and it didnt' happen but also never met again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As both sides are older, I"d expect it to happen sooner. They are better at decision-making and not new to things, compared to when they arein their 20s.

And indeed every woman 40+ I've been on a date with, and it's happened on the first date, or we didn't click and it didnt' happen but also never met again.

You wrote a nonsense - if it happened you never met again. And if it didn’t happen you and never met again. Can you clarify ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not sure if age matters for this and know it varies by person, but is it crazy to ask a girl back to my place after the first date if it’s going well? Feels risky, but I don’t personally have any hang ups around it. And I’m definitely someone that really values chemistry in the bedroom.

There's nothing wrong with making your needs heard.

I would think a guy is a ho. If he offered to cook a dinner for me on date 3, I would accept the invite but tell ahead of time no sex is planned. I would undress though and have a physical makeout session

Undress and make out without having sex?

Not fully undress but I would let him touch me through underwear if I really liked the guy. Maybe touch him myself. Some men might get disappointed that the deed didn't happen, but most understand that you like him. I raise a question of STI testing if that happens and let him know it's preferable to have available for future few dates

You tease a guy and leave him with blue balls? Don’t do that again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not sure if age matters for this and know it varies by person, but is it crazy to ask a girl back to my place after the first date if it’s going well? Feels risky, but I don’t personally have any hang ups around it. And I’m definitely someone that really values chemistry in the bedroom.

There's nothing wrong with making your needs heard.

I would think a guy is a ho. If he offered to cook a dinner for me on date 3, I would accept the invite but tell ahead of time no sex is planned. I would undress though and have a physical makeout session

Undress and make out without having sex?

Not fully undress but I would let him touch me through underwear if I really liked the guy. Maybe touch him myself. Some men might get disappointed that the deed didn't happen, but most understand that you like him. I raise a question of STI testing if that happens and let him know it's preferable to have available for future few dates

You tease a guy and leave him with blue balls? Don’t do that again.

This is a gross comment.

-A guy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not sure if age matters for this and know it varies by person, but is it crazy to ask a girl back to my place after the first date if it’s going well? Feels risky, but I don’t personally have any hang ups around it. And I’m definitely someone that really values chemistry in the bedroom.

There's nothing wrong with making your needs heard.

I would think a guy is a ho. If he offered to cook a dinner for me on date 3, I would accept the invite but tell ahead of time no sex is planned. I would undress though and have a physical makeout session

Undress and make out without having sex?

Not fully undress but I would let him touch me through underwear if I really liked the guy. Maybe touch him myself. Some men might get disappointed that the deed didn't happen, but most understand that you like him. I raise a question of STI testing if that happens and let him know it's preferable to have available for future few dates

I’m a man and I like heavy petting. Not for weeks or months, but exciting on a first or second date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:During the date, start creating a reason to go back to your place. For example, talk about a trip you went on, and you have some cool souvenir or photos back at your place. Or some kind of special drink/food that is hard to get but you have some.

This way, she has an excuse to come back and it's not just for sex. Now, if that happens once there, that's fine, but it gives her a reason to go back and still seem like a "good girl".

In my day, I even managed to pull this off when the Nintendo Wii was new and I had one before anyone else had seen it. Amazing what a game of virtual tennis can lead to!

If you want an easy one, go track down a bottle of Nouveau Beaujolais. It has a story behind it. It's actually just an average wine, but it's got a good story and can be hard to find, so build it up and she may want to come back to try it.

Nooo nooo I’m autistic and I hate pretext. I’m not smart enough to understand it while it’s happening and it’s really awkward and scary trying to get out of those situations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Doesn't it depend on how much he spent on dinner?

I think that determines the robustness of his car BJ. If he's old, anyway.

Just curious, what’s the going rate

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sex on the first date? What alternative reality do I live in? I haven’t had sex for seven years! The few dates I am fortunate to go on it seems like the women are heading for the exit as soon as we sit down. Thanks for the fantasy though.

What happens on these dates? Either you have feet in your mouth or you are giving off some ick. Give us a play by play